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The Orlesian Mystery Murder

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SOD IT ALL Sod it all to the ancestors, I did my best dammnit! my

what was I writing? uuuuuh yeah that's it, I shit you not, There I was, Chevalier's to left of me, Fire breathing Abominations to my right! and and, and Paragons to the left of me, n-now now don't get me wrong! I was born in Dustown, I had no damn rights i'mma casteless! no better than dried nug droppings! I had-hadda make a name for myself! w-with no conneeections, that's tough man, tough! I worked my way, as most men of my caliber do, through hard work, perseverance and dedication to the law, you don't buy that crap? bugger, well truth is, crime crime crime, profit and more crime, occasional stints in jail, but this Dwarf is made of Sterner stuff!

I figured, sod Orzammar, I'm gonna make something of myself, so I got up outta that hole, fell into the sky, the end...

you don't buy much shit do ya? fine fine, I lived, took a caravan to Denerim and hired myself out

AS A MERCENARY Ancestors be praised! you're sick

Many Jobs later and nothing interesting, a load of Pirates and thunder-humping blight later I find myself in front of you so-wonderful generous employers hee hee, and ya sent me after tha sodding Orlesian, Like I said, I was surround, Apostates to my Left and Darkspawn to my Up!

Abominations? wah, no no Apostates, what do you..oh

I..

FINE FINE Okay i saw the noble, after climbing into the Nug-humper's study while they worked I crept behind them, and god blindsided by a damn guard, he was 40 ft tall! it was a, a damn Ogre! yeah and Ogre Body guard! ...okay it was a Qunari! ...NORMAL NORMAL Bodyguard ...It was a banana peel and he ran away, and I had to make a quick retreat HAPPY NOW OH FABULOUS COTERIE NEVER SLIP UP ONCE UPTIGHT...ah sod it I'm yelling at armed thugs, I accept my failure...I only hire myself out so I can send money to my family working back in Orzammar, do with me as you wish, just send some of the money to them...promise an old broken prideless Dwarf that, wont cha?

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