It was a really long day, or rather a couple of days, helping Aveline to make her way to a man’s heart without using her sword. I must admit that her attempts were definitely innovative, though I’d much prefer that the object of her passion did not end up thinking that I was 1) a collector of brass trinkets 2) meddling with duty rosters 3) the one actually having hots for him. If the woman screws even that walk along the coast and does not screw Donnic, I’ll let her go through with that plan with goats. I do deserve some fun after my vain efforts, don’t I?


As expected, Aveline did screw the screwing. A nice, quiet patrol along the coast, just the two of them, while certain Serah Hawke disposed of all potential disturbances, like a bunch of bandits here and there, rabid mabaris, and even thistles in convenient patches of grass. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing, except that guardsman Donnic was not really interested in swordmaking or whatever inane topics Aveline chose to arouse his passion. Little wonder that after those intellectual mind-provoking debates, the guy figured out that something was not-quite-so-so when they encountered the good old me. – Er, it also may have been Varric’s doing, since he did get almost graphic with his comment about “where she wants to touch you”. Anyway, Donnic left saying something about a private talk with his captain, and I hope this finally means what I think it does.


Ah yes… not the romantic quizzical gifts, not the romantic walk in the moonlight… The easiest way to a man’s heart is through another organ, and I don’t mean stomach here. I hope that Aveline realizes how much time I wasted on something that could have been handled with a single sentence. – Just, why does she insist that I knock from now on? Like, does she think I might see something I haven’t seen yet?


Did the guy really propose what I think he did – the Arishok, I mean? The way he was looking at me when talking about sin in this city and what I thought about it – why, nothing, dear sir, you have too many horns and claws for my liking.


Huh? The High Cleric has been talking to Carver recently? “you helped to fan the controversy”, what’s that supposed to mean? Like, I was instigating Meredith and Orsino against each other, as if they needed a helping hand in this? Why’s everyone blaming me again? Carverism all and through. Blast you, Elthinna!