Dragon Age Wiki


The Worst Assassin…Ever

Day 1: I accidentally left the address of mark in the pocket of my pants when I washed them. First assignment not off to good start.

Day 3: I manage to find the mark, surrounded by bodyguards, in the local bazaar and follow them back to estate. Neither the mark nor the guards are aware of my presence. I begin surveying mark’s estate for possible points of entry. Prospects for my successful completion of this assignment are looking better.

Day4: I find a weak spot in mark’s security and slip into the estate completely unnoticed. I make my way into the mark’s bedroom; however, the room is empty. I opt to wait in closet for mark’s return.

The mark finally returns, but with two ‘friends’.

New plan, once group fall asleep, I will slip poison into mark’s water basin. The poison will seep into mark’s skin, killing the mark within hours. Mark’s ‘friends’ will be blamed and no one will be the wiser that I was even here. What a perfect plan!

Day 5: I’m still trapped in the closet. Neither the mark nor I have slept, mark orders servants to prepare the carriage, but I cannot hear why. I remain undetected while mark dresses for the day and speaks with energetic ‘friends’. Do these people ever sleep?

I sneak out of the room and follow the mark’s carriage for most of day. As the sun is setting I discover I have been following the wrong carriage.

I’m heading back to mark’s estate when I find the mark’s carriage at an inn, desk clerk verifies the mark’s presence and room number. I climb the outside wall to mark’s widow. Instead of the mark I see a naked old lady staring at me. She hits me over the head with a vase and I fell into the bushes. Have concussion and broken arm.

Day 6: I find the mark in a local tavern. I approach the mark and regale him with a tale of how I broke my arm escaping from my lover’s husband by leaping out second story window. Mark is impressed and agrees to my purchasing a round of drinks for us. When mark is distracted I slip sleeping powder into his drink. I am a genius!

Day 8: I wake up in the gutter around noon. My pants and boots are nowhere to be found, I have a black eye and I have been banned from three taverns in Orlais, I must have picked up mark’s drink by mistake. I manage to replace my pants and boots drawing only a little of attention. I decide to return to mark’s estate in hopes of pick up the mark’s trail. Encountered mark’s big dog while sneaking in. Good news the dog likes me; bad news the dog likes me a little too much. Need to buy new pants.

Day 9: I take the day off to wait for tailor to make new pants. I try to impress the bar wench with exciting stories of my daring adventures. The plan works and the bar wench impressed. My plan back fires when I discover the bar wench is a man.

The day may not be total loss, I observe the mark go into a salon, I wait for hours for the mark to leave, but I never see him leave.

I’m starting to have second thoughts about my career as an assassin.

Day 10: This is my last chance to complete my assignment as the mark is leaving Orlais for an unknown amount of time early in the morning. I wait outside the mark’s estate for hours, looking for an opportunity to enter. I am just about the make my approach when I feel the sudden and unrelenting need to heed nature's call. I creep off to some bushes to relieve myself. From this spot I have an excellent view of the side gate and servants entrance. After an hour of standing, crawling and...other this general spot I learn I have been standing in poison ivy. Who grow poison ivy so close to their home?

Sod this, I’m changing my name and joining the Chantry.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki