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Theirin men are promiscuous

I recently stumbled across a fanfiction that entailed a dream sequence of Alistair, Cailan, and Maric having a little reunion, during which Maric got ripped to shreds by his two adorable sons because he was a really bad dad. This was hilariously entertaining, and I suggest all of you to read it, just to see Maric Theirin get reduced to a puddle by his blond sons. Alistair's astute observations kick in here, one of which includes:

"Hmm. I have a thought. Maybe not being raised by you is what saved my life. After all, look at what happened to Cailan. The second he said the words 'strategies' and 'bore me' in the same sentence, I should have known we were all going to die."

Anyway, that brought me back to the ever-raging debate of "who the hell is Alistair's mother?". Now, before my cheekiness gets the better of me and I blurt out "the devout Andrastian dogs from Anderfels", I'd like to point out that:

1. This debate has been raging ever since, oh, I don't know, The Calling' came out, and

2. Gaider just refuses to acknowledge this debate, and

3. Many minds, some brilliant and some equivalent of a darkspawn in terms of IQ have discussed this and no conclusion has yet been reached,

which leads to:

"it's kind of pointless to repeat this debate".

I personally have absolutely no opinion in this matter, as any good mystery-solver would. Reading the entirety of Sherlock Holmes has taught me that if you want to get to the right conclusion, keep yourself neutral until the final piece of the puzzle is there. Most of the time people fall into pitfalls because they jump to conclusions.

For example:

Evidence A: Maric is a good man, he doesn't sleep around! Counter: Well, Cailan developed a loving relationship with Anora too, but he still was a shagman of Ferelden.

Evidence B: The timing is right. Counter: Well, according to the timeline, Alistair is 32 and 19 all at once, so chronological linearity goes out the window.

Evidence C: Duncan looked after him. Counter: What? Duncan could only look after one kid?

Evidence D: Fiona's colouring matches Alistair's genetically. Counter: So would half the women in Ferelden.

As you can see, this debate gets nowhere. It's like the preposition we had for National Forensic League qualifier back in 2006 (or something), which was something along the lines of "Resolved: national healthcare should be implemented within federal policies". That got debated to no end. I saw both sides win. But in the end, it was completely inconclusive. It made a damn good debate topic as it could be debated from both sides, but the outcome isn't something I'm so willing to bet my life on. And I've seen people say "I bet my life that Fiona's Alistair's mother" and vice versa. Really, folks? Is Alistair's family that important to you? Not even Alistair seems to think that...

I'm not trying to prioritise issues here, but I think there are far more important questions that should be on our mind than this over-debated topic that constantly refuses to progress. Such as, what's for dinner, where can I get a cheap glass of gin and tonic, how come Ferelden wasn't decimated in population if Blight disease is incurable, and what colour is Fenris' underwear (I vote cherry blossom pink... might set off his blue lyrium markings nicely). But then again, who am I to dictate what people's priorities should be?

But I WILL say this: some people really should learn how to make use of proper English. I'm willing to cut some slack for non-native speakers (heck, I'm a non-native), but some people need to learn how to spell, the difference between homophones (which we learn when we're in year 4...), and that it is wrong to use ellipses instead of periods. It dramatically reduces the strength of your arguments, partly because a lot of people tire trying to decipher the text, think "tl;dr" and move on. Good use of language is paramount to arguing.

In regards to title: From the looks of it, the three Theirins we know (Maric, Cailan, and Alistair) evidently has a knack for getting ladies. "But Alistair!" You might say. "He's faithful to my Warden all the way to the end!". But au contraire, dear readers: 90% of the romance scenes with a female Warden on youtube involves the blondie. Realistically speaking it should be the Dalish shagging machine who should be shagging 90% of the Wardens. Methinks Zevran needs some few tricks from the blond Warden or two...

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