My Warden, Amarina, has a bugged save, in which Alistair somehow married her. I was not aware of this fact until I imported her into Dragon Age: Awakening, in which the vanilla pudding showed up and said, "Hey babe! How's it goin'?". My Warden looked astonished, and rightly so. She thought she had kept Alistair a Warden and had Anora as the queen, and evidently while she wasn't looking, he deposed of his brother's wife, wedded the elven mage while she wasn't looking...

Out of curiosity, I imported that save into DA2, just to see what happens. And it seems the flag held true; Codex entry: The Hero of Ferelden states that she was a Circle mage, but married Alistair and is queen of Ferelden. Just to check, I talked to Bodahn, who confirmed the rumour that yes, Amarina Surana is indeed the reigning queen. Cool, I thought. Elven mage queen.

Onto Act II. Go to The Hanged Man. Talk to the Barkeep. "Any rumours?" Jacinth asks.

"I hear King Alistair of Ferelden has an elven mistress. I hope his queen never finds out."

You bet your ASS you should hope no one ever finds out, because as soon as Amarina finds out Alistair is CHEATING ON HER, the elven bitch is so dead.

Okay, that felt good. So now Alistair Theirin is officially cheating on his love of his life. Which now makes sense if he calls her "Old Ball and Chain". She clearly is shackling him from pursuing hot love with an elven maid.

On the other hand, next time, I'm executing that git.