The romance doesn't officially begin until after you've completed Dorian's personal plot, Last Resort of Good Men. Indicate your intentions to Dorian at the end of this quest or during a conversation at Skyhold. Once the romance has begun, go downstairs to Solas' quarters and you will receive a message from one of Leliana's messengers. This initiates Dorian's romantic quest, The Magister's Birthright.
(Note: It may be necessary to leave Skyhold and return in order for the agent to appear in the rotunda.)
IMPORTANT! Be careful when going about this quest as killing Ponchard will end your relationship with Dorian.
Before leaving Skyhold, you have the option to ask Dorian about the amulet and its significance. He will tell you to leave the matter be, but finding the amulet is the only means of furthering the Inquisitor's relationship with Dorian. Whether or not you spoke to him about the amulet—as well as whether you decide to take him with you to Val Royeaux—alters some of the dialogue within cutscenes.
Head to Val Royeaux. Ponchard can be found in an alcove just beside the bottom left fast travel location on the ground floor of your map. He may not be marked on the map until you arrive in the city.
Approach Ponchard to discover that he is well aware of Dorian's ties to the Inquisition and will only grant you the amulet if the Inquisitor agrees to use their influence to get him into the Celestine League. If Dorian is present in the party, he will be vocally frustrated and angry that the Inquisitor is pursuing this.
You have three options to progress:
- Agree or disagree to Ponchard's terms, both of which unlocks the Help Ponchard de Lieux operation war table operation. This operation must be completed to further the relationship if the amulet cannot be collected via intimidation.
- If you disagree to Ponchard's terms ("Forget it."):
- Intimidate Ponchard
- Kill Ponchard. (Only available after attempting to intimidate him.)
- If you kill Ponchard, you will not acquire the amulet. When you return to Skyhold, Dorian will not be impressed and any existing romance will end.
If Dorian is in the party and the amulet is acquired through intimidation, you will automatically return to Skyhold and enter the cutscene with him. If he is not in the party, you will remain in Val Royeaux. When you return to Skyhold, you can engage Dorian for this cutscene at your leisure.
- Completing the quest without killing Ponchard (regardless of whether the Inquisitor tells Dorian that he knows about the amulet, intimidates Ponchard, or any dialogue choices when giving Dorian the amulet in Skyhold):
- Giving Dorian the amulet results in furthering the romance.
- Alternatively, killing Ponchard will terminate the relationship.
If the Inquisitor takes Dorian along with him to Val Royeaux, he will shoot a look at Dorian when Dorian tries to correct Ponchard on their status as "friends".
Giving Dorian the Amulet (Without talking to him about it before talking to Ponchard.)
"What I didn't want is to be indebted to you or anyone. Now I am."
"Tell me why you wanted it."
- Returns to dialog choices.
"You must think I'm foolish and sentimental."
- Choices gives no approval changes.
"And you went and retrieved it for me. Now I'm in your debt."
"I did this for you."
- Choices gives no approval changes but has fun dialogs.
Dorian apologizes and kisses the Inquisitor. Talk to him again and he will say that there is something waiting in your room.
This is where the Inquisitor can choose to enter an exclusive relationship with Dorian.