Merrill's friendship can be gained by:
- Siding with the mages or the elves in quests.
- Choosing options that favor blood magic or demons.
- By being agreeable to her in conversation.
- Act of Mercy: Tell Grace that you will distract the Templar (Ser Thrask). Choose the agreeable options and then "Murder is too far." (Confirmed) (+20)
- Bait and Switch: Defend Merrill (Call on Companion) at the end of the quest (+5)
- Enemies Among Us: Choose the following dialogue options while speaking with Knight-Captain Cullen in The Gallows (+20)
- "Not all mages are like that."
- "You're wrong."
- Enemies Among Us: If Carver is present when rescuing Keran, choose "Templars are just as bad." (+10)
- An Errant Letter: Keep Ser Thrask's secret (+10)
- Finders Keepers: Attempt to trick the guards by the docks with the special choice, "Fire!" (Available only for a Humorous/Charming Hawke) (+5)
- Note: It is also possible to gain the same approval for Varric, but you cannot receive approval from both characters. If Varric and Merrill are both with you at the time, Merrill will always receive the approval over Varric.
- The Gallows: Visiting the Gallows with Fenris for the first time will initiate a dialogue scene. If Merrill is present, choose the response, "It is wrong to oppress mages." (+5)
- Magistrate's Orders: Kill Keldar (+10)
- Shepherding Wolves: Accept the quest from Sister Petrice (+10)
- Shepherding Wolves: Refuse to hand Ketojan over to the Qunari (+5)
- Tranquility: Promise Lirene you won't harm Anders (+5)
- Wayward Son: Tell Vincento to make it up to his son for his neglect (+10)
- Wayward Son: Go to the Gallows and tell Ser Thrask you want to help find Feynriel (+10)
- Wayward Son: Allow Feynriel to go to the Dalish (+10)
- Welcome Home: Choose either of the following dialogue options (+5)
- "You're welcome."
- "Did you really?"
- A Bitter Pill: When asked by Orana what she should do, select the following dialogue options (+5)
- "Come work for me."
- "I will pay her."
- Forbidden Knowledge: Choose to use or take the first evil tome in the sidequest: (+5) (for first tome only)
- Merrill, An Apology: Will become active once Night Terrors completed and Merrill accompanied you to Fade. You can gain up to (+15) depending on response sequences (see quest for details).
- Mirror Image: Flirt with Merrill (+5)
- Mirror Image: Accept the quest (+10)
- Mirror Image: Give her the arulin'holm, either on the first or the second chance (+15)
- Questioning Beliefs: "You didn't kill pol." (Diplomatic choice) (+10)
- Night Terrors: Tell Marethari that you will not kill Feynriel (+5)
- Night Terrors: Accept Torpor's offer to bring him Feynriel (+5)
- Wooden Halla: Give her the gift (along the Friendship path) (+15)
- To Catch a Thief: Give Isabela the Relic (+10)
- A New Path: When talking to Merrill to initiate the quest, agree without suggesting she talk to the keeper first (+10)
- A New Path: Ask Marethari how to fix the eluvian (+10)
- A New Path: After the battle with the demon, say that Marethari was stupid (+15)
- A New Path: After the battle say stand down OR marethari was possessed (+10)
- Memento of the Dalish: Give Merrill the Sylvanwood Ring (on the Friendship path) (+15)
Rivalry with Merrill can generally be earned by contradicting the "hows" of developing a friendship with her, as mentioned above.
- Act of Mercy: Deny the quest (You'll still have the quest anyway) (+10)
- Act of Mercy: Tell Grace to go back to the circle (+10)
- Bait and Switch: At the end of the quest Hawke says, "I'm well aware." (only available to a non-mage Hawke who brought a mage along during the second half of this quest.) (+5)
- Enemies Among Us: If Carver is present when rescuing Keran, choosing magic is not the problem (+10)
- Enemies Among Us: After the quest, upon speaking to Knight-Captain Cullen, say you support the templars (+10)
- The Gallows: Visiting the Gallows with Fenris and Merrill for the first time will initiate a dialogue scene. If Fenris is present, choose the response, "The Circle is necessary." (+5)
- Magistrate's Orders: Choosing to help Keldar (+10)
- Wayward Son: Convince Feynriel to go the Circle (+10)
- Welcome Home: Choosing "Don't Thank Me" (+5)
- Back from Sundermount: After NOT giving the arulin'holm to Merrill (as the Keeper requests), tell Merrill that you are trying to help her (agreeable tactful option), or that she can't complete the mirror (wry, humourous or witty option) (+25). Telling Merrill you don't trust her with the tool (aggressive option) (+10)
- Forbidden Knowledge: Destroy each evil tome in the sidequest (+10) for each tome destroyed while Merrill is in the party
- Merrill, An Apology: Will become active once Night Terrors completed and Merrill accompanied you to Fade. You can gain up to (+10) depending on response sequences (see quest for details).
- Mirror Image: Refuse to do the quest (+30) Refuse via witty + investigate (+10). Refuse aggressively (+25) Note: The quest will still be available, though.
- Mirror Image: After defeating the Varterral, tell Merrill that Pol ran away from her because he is a coward (aggressive option) (+25)
- Night Terrors: During the dialogue with Marethari, choose to kill Feynriel if things go wrong in the fade (+10)
- Night Terrors: Refuse Torpor's offer: (+5)
- Night Terrors: During the dialogue with the Marethari-demon, choose "Don't trust it Merrill" (+20). Choose the "Don't dare turn on me" option (+10)
- Wooden Halla: Giving her the gift (on the Rivalry path) (+15)
- Alone: Hand Fenris over to Danarius (+10)
- Memento of the Dalish: Give Merrill the Sylvanwood Ring (on the Rivalry path) (+15)
- A New Path: When talking to Merrill to initiate the quest, suggest she talk to the keeper first (+10)
- A New Path: After the battle with the demon, tell Merrill that she should have listened (+15)
- A New Path: Telling the rest of her clan that you will take responsibility for Merrill's actions (+15)