I'm getting a little tired of all the bad news and heated discussions we seem to be getting lately. So to remedy this, I'm just going to add a list of random, positive things (within reason, nothing wild) that could happen in Thedas, if only to just have a laugh. Anyway, here we go;
- The Warden's Mabari had puppies. Said puppies are going to be given to new Warden recruits upon completion of the Joining.
- Ser-Pounce-A-Lot became Vigil Keep's resident mouser. He has successfully killed a large number of Tainted rats.
- Nathaniel often puts his nephew on his shoulders and pretends to be a horse. In spite of the new recruits seeing him do this.
- Oghren starts a microbrewery and sends his ale to Denerim and Highever. Despite being quite potent, it's quite popular.
- Sigrun teaches other illiterate people how to read. Telling stories to the Arling's orphans prevents her from undergoing her Calling for years.
- Denerim cheese production goes into overdrive in order to keep King Alistair supplied with cheese.
- Arl Vaughan is still locked in the dungeon. He is not a happy skeleton.
- Velanna travels across Thedas and brings some Halla to Marethari's clan.
- Varric shaves his chest hair and donates the money to the Chantries looking after the orphans from the Blight and the Qunari invasion.
- Fergus Cousland invents breakdancing and performs a marathon dance session on top of Rendon Howe's grave marker.
- Grey Warden!Carver met the Hero of Ferelden who imparted some words of wisdom about lightening up.
- Shale stops to smell the roses, unfortunately in the time to do so, a couple of birds built a nest on top of her head. She doesn't notice until she reaches Tevinter.
- Finn got a scuff mark on his robe after travelling to the Eluvian. This time, he only felt dizzy.
- First Enchanter Irving has decided to get some wands crafted, mainly because the mages staves were too heavy for him to carry around all the time.
- A freak storm over Redcliffe ended up lifting one of the house and dropped it on Isolde. Dwyn was seen dancing a merry jig and singing.
- Lloyd was visited by three Spirits on the eve of Satinelia. Unfortunately, they found he didn't have a heart so they just haunted him for the night before pantsing him in the Chantry.
Random, pointless, but its fun. --Madasamadthing (talk) 01:38, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
- If Ser Pounce-A-Lot is killing tainted rats, he's probably ingesting their blood. If he's still alive that likely means he's a Grey Warden cat. Very cool. :-) Diyartifact (talk) 02:23, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
I started laughing about halfway through the list. Fell out of the chair from doing so. Day is made. Avg Man (talk) 02:30, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
This is the funniest forum I've seen in quite a wile.--CouslandRogue (talk) 04:56, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
I really enjoyed some of those! TY for sharing.
──┤ 
│ Eganogard │ talk ├── 07:04, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
Nope Anders invented breakdancing at Kirkwall. He sneaked some itching powder into the templar armour polish. On their parade day though Kirkwall. Result Knight-Commander Meredith dying of shame, Elthina of laughter and osino of the splits.And a dancing competition between the mages and Templars. That's what really happened! HE DIDN'T BLOW UP THE CHANTRY! They just don't want to admit it.Phoenix96 (talk) 18:39, August 12, 2012 (UTC)
Time for some more;
- Starkhaven has begun producing a line of massive, enchanted armour thanks to several veins of iron ore found in a cave outside the city.
- The ruins of Ostagar has seen an increase in tourism, with several tours offering to take people on the Warden's path through the ruins.
- The lot of the elves in Kirkwall has changed for the better. They've moved the Alienage to an ancient Tevinter burial ground, many reasoning that things could not get any worse.
- After many investigations into the mage uprising in Kirkwall, costing people thousands in taxes and taking twenty years to complete, Chantry officals have decided that it might not have been the best idea to have a crazy woman in charge.
- King Bhelen spared the last of the Harrowmonts. He has become close to the King, acting as a vibrating footstool for the King.
- That bandit in Awakening, the one who jumped off the cliff rather than fight the Hero of Ferelden. He didn't die, he swam all the way across the Waking Sea to Kirkwall... just in time to see the Qunari assault on the city.
- What was never seen in Origins was Zevran's previous attempts on the Warden's life. Unfortunately, many of his attempts were more Wily. E. Coyote rather than ruthless assassin.
- Sten returned to Saheron and opened a bakery. He has been able to escape being sent to a re-education camp by claiming that this is essential training in preparing to conquer Thedas.
- Hawke isn't hiding because of the mage uprising but because of during the chaos, they robbed the various merchant guilds and are now living on a beach.
- Oghren and Fenris attended an anger management class. Unfortunately after the first meeting half the town was destroyed and Oghren giving Fenris a bloody nose, having explained why it was important to wear proper armour.
- Merrill found out the terrible price of being a blood mage, when she woke up in a clinic after passing out from excessive blood loss. However there was a donor nearby, a dwarven merchant and lyrium crafter named Garin. No one noticed any additional craziness.
There you go. --Madasamadthing (talk) 19:30, August 12, 2012 (UTC)
How the hell do you come up with this stuff!? :) (Dies of laughter)Phoenix96 (talk) 20:00, August 12, 2012 (UTC)
The Hero of ferelden eventually makes his/her way to Orlais to eat cake and live in sin for staying out of the mage/templar war.--TheNightTwins (talk) 04:13, August 13, 2012 (UTC)
King Alistair, his Queen and the hero of Kirkwall walk into a bar, Varric finds the prospect of a classic joke so great he's struck dumb for a week!
Putowtin- Light Love and Peace 13:57, August 14, 2012 (UTC)
lol! keep writing--82.21.197.214 (talk) 16:41, August 15, 2012 (UTC)
After King Harrowmont dies, Lord Helmi gets the throne, enacts sweeping libertarian reforms, makes Varric Tethras a Paragon, and removes all taxes on alcohol. The Assembly are all too drunk to notice the changes. He then retires, and by unanimous Assembly vote (another round of drinks being gratefully recieved) Sandal is made King, and the threats of Darkspawn, rebels, an Exalted March, and some very confused Qunari are all brought to their knees by a single word...
`ENCHANTMENT!`
Also, after Tallis revealed her identity as a Qunari to the Hawke, she realised the stupidity of hiring the person who had just waded through the blood of an entire invasion force and an overly-annoying Arishok to liberate their city from the Qunari. Shortly after, the Wyverns of Chateau Haine were taken ill from a mysterious and horrible disease called Marius Suius Omnomnomus, later found to be caused by a mysterious, shredded, elfin lump added to their feed. Nonetheless, Duke Prosper, The Champion of Kirkwall, and many other wise individuals had this to say:
`Worth it.`
TheTeaMustFlow (talk) 21:55, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
Anora gets admitted to the local asylum after deciding Arl Eamon was still alive. Even though Arl Eamon is currently in the Archdemon's stomach. Hence Alistair relunctanly becomes king, maybe after his lover threatens him with the removal of his cheese supply. Phoenix96 (talk) 15:15, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
Ok, I'll add some more.
- Many hope that Anora was still in Fort Drakon when the Darkspawn attacked and they had eaten her. Except the Archdemon. He would have rather died at the hands of a Grey Warden than poisoned.
- Contrary to popular belief, Morrigan didn't scavenge those belts and scraps from the dead in the Wilds. She pantsed several Templars and stole the belts before Flemeth killed them.
- Leliana tried a career in country music. Unfortunately, the Orlesians didn't care for Ferelden ballads.
- Justice tried to make himself known in King Alistair's Court. Unfortunately many of the nobles were understandably horrified by the corpse lecturing them and so had him thrown out. That's correct, Justice was thrown out of court.
- Zevran tried to chat up several of the women in the Alienage. The city guard stated that the riot (and mob of angry elven women) was considerably larger than the riot after Vaughan Kendall's death.
- The Warden's faithful Mabari took Ser-Pounce-A-Lot under his wing and showed the kitten how to lay on the charm. The real reason Ser-Pounce was gotten rid of was because he had surpassed the Mabari in manipulating the Wardens.
- It took Hawke several years to realise that Fenris and Merrill had not grown in height. It turns out that not wearing shoes or boots and never washing their feet added an extra inch to their height.
- They say the one story Varric will never tell is how Bianca got her name. Not quite true. He'll also never tell why he can't quite grow a proper beard like other dwarves. (It's early onset chin-baldness)
- Bethany often spent time in the library. What people didn't know was that the books she read were actually sent by Varric, hiding the adventures of Donnen Brennicovick in her study books.
- Wynne was inundated with requests from Tevinter Magisters to join their dinner parties to provide entertainment as a medium. The requests stopped after the forty second messenger was sent back as a viral bomb.
--Madasamadthing (talk) 16:55, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
After sorting out his anger issues Fenris joined the circus.--Halisme (talk) 18:08, August 18, 2012 (UTC)
Aww, poor Fen. He'd make a good acrobat! But swooping is bad... 70.105.247.139 (talk) 01:39, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
Nope i think he become a ballerina after so much dancing in his mansion.Phoenix96 (talk) 09:21, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
Even though Sten opened a bakery he still has his sword and uses it to cut the cookie dough out the mould--82.21.197.214 (talk) 12:48, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
At the end of the final game: Dragon Age 8512: The origin of awakening of rising to power in Sid Meiers civilization V effect 3, it is finally revealed that the maker is a combination of many people to form a single entity, Sten with the power of cookie, Anora with the power of making everyone hate her immediately, and Louis from Left 4 Dead with the power of peelz here. You as Sandals half-Dwarven half-Qunari son Dovahkiin defeat the Maker with the power of friendship between you and your pet velociraptor 'Gaider'. And afterwards William Shatner gives you a high five as you swim on a rainbow. I may have either of possibly created the most horrible abomination upon gaming writing history, or the coolest thing ever made. Now in my psychedelic mind I'll say the latter. Oh and even though this phrase really isn't for me because I'm not this guy, I still want to finally say it anyway...All hail darkside --TheRageMage (talk) 15:09, August 19, 2012 (UTC)TheRageMage
- Who is your dealer, and where can I find him/her? This is awesome! Avg Man (talk) 18:05, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
I've never done drugs, and with my mind....that scares me --TheRageMage (talk) 20:57, August 19, 2012 (UTC)TheRageMage
- You do realize I was joking, right? Anyway, what was going through your mind when you posted that? Avg Man (talk) 23:29, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
Can we add our own?
- Sten is now an overly obese Arishok, he went back to stealing cookies.
- Half of the templar order is heavily overweight, since Sten is giving them cookies too.
- Bethany is now pregnant, Hawke couldn't resist bringing her to the Blooming Rose.
- Zevran is now a millionare, all those years of prostitution paid off.
- Isabela is also a millionare now, same reason as Zevran.
- Despite being Commander of the Grey, Nathaniel is a common sight at local Pantera concerts.
- At the end of the blight, Ferelden hosted the first hockey tournament Thedas. They used Darkspawn heads as the puck.
- At the same time, Ferelden also hosted the very first football (I mean American Football) tournament, they used the feet of Darkspawn as the ball.
- Morrigan is now a magician, and her child is her assistant.
- Anders is now a common sight at local Rammstein concerts.
- The creation of the first Kossith Stone Golem caused the destruction of Orzammar.
- Leliana now professes as a pre-school teacher, telling bed time stories.
- Harbinger is ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL of Orlais.
- Fenris teaches Anger Management classes, he was fired on his first day.
Marauder 09 
I can make the Black Sun look like a Swoop Gang. 04:44, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
Finally, after many years of decrypting the Warden Commander's journal, it was brought to light his true feelings of the party that saved the world.
Final entry, before my calling.
Not sure if I'll return, not even sure about my calling yet; but my soles itch, so I gotta do something. Maybe I'll seek out that saucy bitch Morrigan for one more shag; she was a real terror in the sheets. The old crew was something else; puts these young bucks I got now, to shame. I remember like it was just... a little while ago...
I was a punk with a death wish; full of piss and vinegar. Battle, glory and an early death were all that held my attention... well, booze and wenches helped to pass the time. Then that bastard of a father of mine decided to send Fergus instead of me; I damn near killed the ol' bastard right there. Then that prick Howe invaded the castle and wiped out my family, would have got me too if I hadn't used the elven wench as a shield. Damned if I didn't survive the show; but that Duncan dude said I could stick it to'm if I just followed him for a while. Well, the while didn't last long, as he went and got himself killed with that fool of a king.
So there I am, with this nincompoop Alistair, who says I'm in charge. I'm searching out my early grave and he wants to follow my lead... well ok; whatever tickles your short and curlies.
Then that whacko tree planter bush woman Flemeth throws her daughter at me for safe keeping. Hot young babe with cleavage to her navel, yeah I'll take real good care of her; even Wrecks is all hot an' bothered over her. But I'll tell you, if it wasn't for Morrigan watching my back (cuzz I sure as hell wasn't) the expedition would have crashed and burned early. Mages 1+lots, Chantry can suck it.
Then that Leliana chick; crazy whacked out broad, but she sure was fun to chew on. Crazy ideas about the maker dude; I think she was on some really good stuff, an' she wasn't sharing it; I'm pretty sure we were always low on certain toxins.
Then there was that big prick Sten. I told him outright, that I was gonna die a hideously gruesome death well before my time. He looked straight at me and said, "yeah, so?!" I offered to let watch him the spectacle, and he said he'd love to, but he was grounded for life; of course, a man in a cage, go figure. So I razed all kinds of hell in the local chantry; it's a good thing Lothering burned, cuzz I was not a welcome man in that rat hole.
Alistair wasn't too happy with the Redcliff side show. It was a tough sell, but even I wasn't very eager to off a kid; if that Orlesian hoe hadn't left that blood mage alive, she would still be alive, and her kid would be dead. Well, after we finished beating each other's faces inside out; Alistair finally saw my pragmatic view.
And that ol' bitty I picked up during that Circle debacle; not a bad lookin' ol' broad, but she didn't want me at all, and that Alistair twit was clueless; if she had made eyes at me the way she drank in that fool, I would have been all over the woman.
Some crazy elf boy thought he would make a name for himself; then expected me to trust him; like hell I was gonna let him sleep in my camp. I wasn't about the wake up with a knife in my heart; Morrigan and Leliana were bad enough, but they hadn't tried to kill me already; that was the end of his story... what the hell was his name again? SahFran, or something...
Then I met the dwarves; that was a whole civilization of crazy. The world is falling down around them and they want a king; most normal people wanna get rid of their kings. But I met this really cool guy, Ohgren. I think he and Leliana had something going on, cuzz he managed to find booze in the damnedest places, and again, the toxins were in short supply.
I finally got to kill the prick Howe, but got talked into keeping Lohgain. Well I finally got rid of that wimp Alistair; only to discover that hotty of a queen was barren.
Ending the Blight must have had an effect on my taint, cuzz none of the women in Vigil's Keep would have anything to do with me. So here I am, the darkspawn threat is eliminated; Fereldan has no heirs, and Lohgain is in Orlais; I pissed myself when I got word of that, I couldn't resist, I sent word to Alistair.
What does a hero do when he's survived his tribulations? The nightmares haven't slowed; thought it would have once the darkspawn went back to ground, but they haven't. Think I saw a set of Effort armor in the back of the armory; think I'll leave my armor here for the next Commander. As for weapon and shield, I don't wanna take my good stuff; think I'll scoop a set from Vigil's guard armory; back to the nitty gritty.
First thing's first though; Morrigan... Shadizar666 (talk) 11:44, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Proof? 67.61.234.198 (talk) 04:11, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
Sten returned to Seharon. And so the crowd gathered to hear the report he would give to the Arishok; in true Beresaad fashion, Sten regaled his audience with exploits of the Warden's party. The Arishok sat at the edge of his seat through the tale, silently impressed and mildly skeptical of the amazing story. And then Sten once again turned to Arishok and held aloft the "Asala", and explained that like all the Grey Warden weapons, it had specifically modified to do considerable harm to darkspawn. He then held aloft "Duty", like many Grey Warden helmets, it was specifically designed to stand out among a thousand regular troops, to bolster fighting moral in the face of insurmountable onslaught. And then he explained the suit of armor he wore; how when their time was ending, they would don this armor and head off to the Deep Roads, on one last valiant quest alone to bury themselves in the last darkspawn they will ever kill. "The Qun would be hard put to demand more than this great order provides, each a living testimony of Duty and Sacrifice." Shadizar666 (talk) 23:14, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
This forum is hilarious... I have finally achieved happy place Nirvana! :D Danerogil (talk) 14:44, August 23, 2012 (UTC)
You know what? The day when I finally get my head around Amell Warden's parents, will be the day I'll be a happy bunny! --94.5.217.225 (talk) 20:07, August 25, 2012 (UTC)
- Mages aren't allowed to have parents. The Amells are from the Kirkwallers and were infamous for producing mage children; the decline of their noble line was eminent; so they fled to Farelden, where the young Warden Amell was captured anyhow... and then Sten went and killed her family shortly before they meet. Nuff said, end of story. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Shadizar666 (talk • contribs) 18:05, August 29, 2012
- Actually, the downfall of the Amells was simply due to mismanagement. Leandra eloped with Malcolm (which of course brought shame on the family since he was an apostate). When Gamlen became lord, he gambled, whored and drank the family fortune into oblivion. The Warden Amell was just a distant relative of the "main" branch (i.e, Leandra, Gamlen etc.) who had always lived in Ferelden. To my knowledge, we don't know that Sten killed the Amell Warden's family.
King Cousland | Talk 17:26, August 29, 2012 (UTC) - Mages are allowed to have parents, they'll wouldn't be around otherwise, mages just aren't allowed to inheirt anything from their parents, such as lands, titles, family heirlooms, nor are mages able to be parents. Now, my problem is Amell Warden's "mother", Revka. Children are often take on their father's surnames, so with Amell warden's father was an Amell, making Revka, an Amell through marriage, or the father's identity was unknown and was given the surname Amell. The problem with the last theory is that Revka apparently had more than one child. I do however, have another theory, that Leandra got Revka's children muddled with another member of the Amell's family's children, and whoever that was, is the parents of the Amell Warden. Now, you get the problem? --94.5.217.225 (talk) 08:58, August 30, 2012 (UTC)
- No, not really. Because it's canon that the Amell Warden's mother is Revka. Anything else is conjecture/false. 67.61.234.198 (talk) 04:14, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
- Actually, the downfall of the Amells was simply due to mismanagement. Leandra eloped with Malcolm (which of course brought shame on the family since he was an apostate). When Gamlen became lord, he gambled, whored and drank the family fortune into oblivion. The Warden Amell was just a distant relative of the "main" branch (i.e, Leandra, Gamlen etc.) who had always lived in Ferelden. To my knowledge, we don't know that Sten killed the Amell Warden's family.