Forum:The Blooming Hanged Man's Rose

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Introductions

So yeah, we kinda derailed that Keep Blog, so why not continue the banter here! I, Sir Lazare of Antiva challenge you all to sustain this forum up until the release date of Dragon Age: Inquisition. Come knights, Rshep, SMK, BSST, Super, Dave, AC, Darion, and the whole lot of you, come along, join us in the shadows. Oh and Xsari, Kelcat, Cheddar, you are all welcome. If you guys want to invite more knights, do so now!!!

Rules:

• Let's be polite to our fellow warriors in arms
• Bring on the DA banter
• This area is like a sketch. So add a subtitle to add your own little banter sketch, and we'd all maybe join in?

Oh, Flemeth according to SMK has done something with Pokemon or something. It sounded very dangerous. 13:12, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I still think we need more women in this forum. To The BROTHEL!!! B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:20, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

They have been added brother! The Brothel was overflowing with them. Though, I found the sensible ones. 13:21, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

You dumb fuck,but what about me??? I like my women dirty and evil (starts drooling)--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:00, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

For the Newbs... don't try and understand what is going on... just go with (I can hear some saying "that's what she said"... LAZ!! you screaming that???--Dave The Maniac (talk) 16:24, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Flemeth the Pokemon

ACdeakial arrives riding the notorious Bantersaurus Rex. "Hehehehe, his arms are tiny" - Sorry, had to that.

Anyway, I like this idea. So flemeth is a pokemon? I wonder which one of the, what is it now? 1000? pokemon she is? Charizard? She seems like charizard. You know, she does whatever the hell she wants! ACdeakial (talk) 13:18, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

SHE is Flemizard, the beastial witch of the dreaded wilds. Her wrath shall be unleashed on all of us, unless we don't stop that great fiend. It has to stop. AC, where are the other knights! Oh and Dave, damn, forgot to stop torturing him. 13:20, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I knew something was wrong with her! Even morrigan said it! Shes not even human! What else could she be, she has to be a pokemon! Flemizardactylaprapidash! The horrid Horse-Dragon-pterodactyl-fish-witch thing of the wilds. Now I know what is south of the wastes! Pokemon-land! ACdeakial (talk) 13:32, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, I forgot to mention SMK has been kidnapped by slavers to the Imperium! How there they, I thought the Qunari were having picnics there?! Damnit 13:24, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I thought godzilla wiped out the imperium.... damnit I have been lied to. My sources are useless. STUPID OGHREN!!!!! ACdeakial (talk) 13:32, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I knew Flemeth's dragon transformation looked a lot like a pokeball puking out a pokemon (how does that work really 'cus I can just imagine that space is not enough for a pokemon some of 'em are huge!!!!)--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:26, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

DA: Yeti Redemption

Also don't use the join us in the shadows line unless you've got the ropes, chains, whips, nipple clamps, dildos and everything.

BTW, any other news on DA:Yeti Redemption??? I heard there will be this cheat where you can become a Ninja Jedi with a 5 sword fighting specialization--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:26, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Yeah remember last time when the last guy didn't bring the whole shabang for BDSM? He got a de-erection and went home crying. Ruined the whole night! B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:30, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Fine Dave, you have to be a spoilt sport XD, I have got the whips, nipple clamps and the ropes, but no chains and dildos. Will someone mind getting them? Oh, and DA: Yeti Redemption is going well. In fact, the last I heard, they are thinking about introducing 2 new races, Spidermans and Elcors. Yes you heard that right. DA:Y will now be DA: Yeti Redemption, with Spiderman and Elcors. Damn BSST, that was AC! AC they are poking fun at you!!!! 13:33, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

(Comes in carrying a huge chest with chains and a lock on it. A sign is placed upon the top that reads, "Do Not Open Until Christmas") Merry Christmas, brothers! When I come to the party I come prepared. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:38, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I hate waiting... I want it now!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:51, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I know I keep forgetting the latex... oooh well I hope they get the bondage club right in DA: Yeti Redemption also they are introducing the all powerful mighty destroying sword of the thousand dildos... with cum thrower included!!!! --Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:37, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Oh that's gross. But so very AWESOME!!! B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:38, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

The swords description reads: Found in the basement of a prominent and heroic group of individuals. The owner was Sir Gimp Suite, once holder of the ancient Keep of a Thousand Dildo's (and chains and whips and stockades) ACdeakial (talk) 13:44, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

The other thing found there was Sir Gimp's suit with a damage reduction of +9001 and together the sword and suit gives a pimping +90001--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:49, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Well, wow. Wow is wow, and my laughter has no bounds right now. Thou are too funny! What the actual heck! Sir Gimp Suite deserves his own story. The dominatrix of Thedas. Destroyer of brothels, father to 1000 children. Anyone thought that Flemeth may...just be a prostitute? 14:22, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

No no no, you got wrong pal, you need to romance the Dominatrix of thedas and get her to make you her slave, then you got to defeat the Destroyer of Brothers, father to 10,000 children in order to get the key to the keep of a Thousand Dildo's (and chains and whips and stockades). Once there you need to take the test of whippings and feces eating, romance the whore without orgasms and make her cum. In the end you get the suit, the sword, and the title of gimp of all Thedas... jesus it's part of the main story!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:40, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

so i was thinking of actually trying to write a DA novel kinda put my idea in Couslands Dinner party feed back please ideas etc also I HAVE THE DAY OFF im glad you guys liked this idea wish we could put a lock on it to keep at the top... oh hell who am i kidding we are gonna be in here so much hahaStar Metal Knight (talk) 13:36, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Dude I'm at work passing time here people stare at the crazy dude laughing a lot!!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:39, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Our fellow knight, Sir SMK needs our assistance, give it all to him. Dave, be good. Datta good boy, now, don't start building more brothels you dirty minx. Morrigan has asked for a job by the way, should we give it to her? 14:27, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Hmm, shall we let Morrigan work in our brothel, she definately needs to loosen up a bit... And she'd probably make a good dominatrix. Should I give her an interview? ACdeakial (talk) 14:31, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I approve Morrigan in the Bondage Brothel and include Isabela, that woudl make one awesome threesome!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:43, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I shall arrange the interview then. Sir Gimp Suite would be proud. ACdeakial (talk) 14:47, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

DAS BEERZ

I will have not one not 2 but but DAS BEERZ for you that have work todayStar Metal Knight (talk) 13:41, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I will join you in the beers, the joys of being a recent graduate. I can focus on bantering and beers. And feeding my Bantersaurus Rex with trolls. ACdeakial (talk) 13:53, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

EXCUSE ME, but Bantersaurus Rex nearly bit my hand off! Then he eat Johnny the Nug, and Timmy the Dog. How dare he! I order Bantersaurus Rex to be trained, or AC we shall have to put him out of his misery. 14:24, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

=) *Sends Bantersaurus out if the room* Hes just angry because his arms are tiny. I mean really tiny. he can't even whip. ACdeakial (talk) 14:27, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Is my human slave horse allowed here? It mostly screams in pain and humps everything I tell it too--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:29, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Yes it is. Your Man Whorse is allowed in here. 15:54, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Eat that AC!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 16:20, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I will make you eat those words... *Escorts the Bantersaurus Rex back in to the room* Behold, he has been upgraded to become Ultimate-Mecha-Bantersaurus Godzilla-Rex. "RAAAWWWWWRRRR" ACdeakial (talk) 22:12, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

A couple of fighter game characters broke out and wanted to join in. Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 13:46, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Tell them they are most welcome, train them up super, show no mercy! NO mercy I TELL YOU. 14:23, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Bringing the ones I am good with to the party. Captain Falcon, Ike, Fox, Sheik, Siegfried, Killik, Mitsurugi, Talim, Nightmare, Ezio, Yoda, Hawkeye, Captain America, Doctor Doom, Dante and Ryu to the party. Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 14:27, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Doctor Doom is a spoil sport, keep an eye on him bro. 16:55, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I'll have to bring the Hulk in and remind him what happened to Loki in the Avengers.... Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 20:08, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Name Change

Just a quick question, is anyone up to changing the name of the Forum to the Hanged Man? Just a thought. I think it'd be... poetic. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:33, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I vote in favor of the proposed name change --User:Deco (talk) 16:51, September 4, 2014 (CET)

Since that is the name of the Chat,it has been renamed to The Blooming Hanged Man's Rose. 15:57, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I think the name could be better. The Blooming Hanged Noble Man's Gnawed Rose-y Pearl... ACdeakial (talk) 19:39, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

The Blooming Hanged Noble Man's Gnawed Rose-y Pearl OF DOOM!!!! featuring Morrigan and Isabela as the main pole dancers XD--Dave The Maniac (talk) 20:02, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

And Alistair and Cullen, to please the ladies. The Blooming Hanged Noble Man's Gnawed Rose-y Pearl OF DOOM OF ULTIMATE DESTINY ACdeakial (talk) 21:21, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

The Blooming Hanged Noble Man's Gnawed Rose-y Pearl OF DOOM, ULTIMATE DESTINY, SOUL DESTRUCTION AND BLOOD there can never be enough blood.--Dave The Maniac (talk) 21:40, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

The Blooming Hanged Noble Man's Gnawed Rose-y Pearl OF DOOM, ULTIMATE DESTINY, SOUL DESTRUCTION AND BLOOD AND WHORES and stuff and things.... We can't forget the stuff and things. ACdeakial (talk) 21:45, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

The Hangman is the chat, we need a new edgier name like... THE BLOOMING WHORE or ROSE!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:55, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

The Greatest Threat, that Has ever Existed

Guys, I need your help against the greatest threat that has ever lived. The Elder One cowers before it. His name is, Oghren. Oghren is wreaking havoc in the Blooming Hanged Man's Rose! 15:59, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Does anyone have a catapult, and a large amount of alcohol handy? I'm pretty sure we can catapult some booze at Oghren, that way we avoid his stench. No wonder the Elder One cowers before him, he stinks so bad the darkspawn a fleeing deeper into the deep roads. ACdeakial (talk) 16:13, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Oghren??? I dream of the day he and I can have drinking contest and see who is the better Drinker, fuck it someone give me my man purse, some ruffies and some alcohol fast... the cheaper the better I fight better when I'm drunk!!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 16:22, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

AC, hand Dave the buckets of ale. Now, he's our only hope. That stench ..... 16:55, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Oh my god! He's getting closer. Quick someone say goodbye to Morrigan and Isabela for me. I don't think I can give them that interview after all. *Hands Dave a bucket of ale and falls flat on the floor. Passed out from the stench.* ACdeakial (talk) 17:29, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

NOOOOOOO!!! Dave, I shall help AC, but you...you must defeat that stench. That stench! Urgh. I'm going to puke. 17:31, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry that stench was a my fart, ate a lot of beans yesterday.

(Puts himself on a catapult, drinks the last drop of cheap ale in the bar, takes some Viagra and pulls)

For Aragon!!!! sorry wrong franchise. For the glory of the roman empire!!! sorry wrong timeline... fuck it for all the women out there (cute or ugly), Laz fuck 'em all for me!!!!

(Dave throws himself at the old one, the stench, the alcohol and the Viagra make him fuck the shit out of the old one scaring him and killing it)--Dave The Maniac (talk) 17:47, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

With the stench gone, I wake up. To see Morrigan, Isabela, Leliana, Sera, Jose-fine and Cassandra standing around me. My hands appear to be chained to the wall. My mouth gagged. In unison they all say "It's time for your interview". Then sadly, I really wake up to see Laz standing above me watching and laughing at Dave's flying antics. *begins crying* "Maker! Why do you tease me so?" ACdeakial (talk) 18:04, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

WHAT the heck is going on!? AC, Dave is gonna die! Dammnit, what has he done now. (Starts laughing and crying), why oh why did this have to happen. We're gonna die I tell you, die. Oh, and btw, it has been announced that DA5 will be about zombie nugs. Dragon Age 5: Nug Plague of Kirkwall. 18:27, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Dragon Age 5: Horny Rabid Nug Plague of Kirkwall

Rumor has it you will play as a Sayian race from the continent of Vegito--Dave The Maniac (talk) 19:10, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Also the main PC will be called the Nug Master!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 19:19, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I'm also led to believe that you will have Optimus Prime and a Predator as potential companions. AND Love Interests. Dang, Bioware, you are good to be able to animate those sex scenes and not make it look like we're getting screwed by a horse. The story will involve fighting back the ultimate Archdemon. No, not an old god, the darkspawn went south and found Dragonite. They corrupted him and he became the UBER-Archdemon. Unfortunately grey wardens can't kill it, and it has an army of zombie nugs which spit out darkspawn. You are tasked with travelling south and becoming THE pokemon master so that you can tame the UBER-A.D, your weapon is the sword forged from the bones of the Nugicorn. ACdeakial (talk) 19:26, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

An insider source tells me that griffons will be a playable race, however the romances will be restricted to dwarves. Shame that. Pretty racist if you ask me. Griffons should be allowed to romance whoever they want. I've also heard that King Kong has had a child with Morrigan. Yes, it happened. I don't know how, but it somehow occurred and is now devastating the continent. 19:32, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

They always say Griffons I want to fight a Tarrasque[1] those shits are awesome... please BW give us one of thse so we can cry ourselves to sleep--Dave The Maniac (talk) 20:05, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I have some news a reliable source tells me that all the bosses in DA5 have been replaced with Dark Souls bosses and Ewoks and Gient Rubber chikens are now playable races I can't wait to be a rubber chicken!- Sighned by Lord Cousland (Darion Cousland (talk) 15:12, September 5, 2014 (UTC))

Acoording to FakeFacts.com DA5 will feature a Castle 100% real, the game will be about sending people to do your bidding (go on adventures or wars all of which you will hear about when they come back) while you sit on your throne, fuck your maids, gather taxes, pay tribute to the chantry, play mini games like chess and it will use Kinect, you will be able to do this all from the comfort of your castle!!!! This so exciting!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 15:51, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Fantasy Battle Royal Smash Bros Al Stars

Characters from fantasy titles and movies from all over are gearing up for an epic smack down of the century. From Gandalf, The Witcher, Harry Potter and to Hawke. Various fantasy characters brawl it out at the local tavern after an argument started based on some nonsense or whatever. Who would win? Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 20:11, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Batman would win, Batman always wins.

Seriously my money would go to... MEDIEVAL SPAWN (Fantasy Comics are Fantasy :P) --Dave The Maniac (talk) 20:14, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

How big a tavern are we talking? Because Cthulhu ain't no Octodad. --DrDemagor (talk) 21:05, September 4, 2014 (UTC)--

We were talking fantasy worlds and the Ancient One is not a myth, I've seen things... things that no men should know, OOOH GREAT ONE FORGIVE US!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 21:19, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

I'm sorry but no one, and I mean no one, has anything on Howard the Duck. I choose him. He will win. I bet my Skyhold and a night with Sera on it. And 10 kajulllion bazillion million googleplexion bucks. ACdeakial (talk) 21:21, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Could...I just...call in Kratos. That dude is pretty badass. But damn, Cthulhu, freaking hell, how the heck do you top that?! 21:36, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

with only one name... the name to destroy all names... the name of the ultimate god, the god of all fighters... the one who counted to infinity twice... the one who had to be asked nicely when god wanted to create light.... THE ONE AND ONLY... CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS!!!! or Batman either one can beat Cthulhu to a pulp--Dave The Maniac (talk) 21:46, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Sir, in all fairness, Batman is Cthulhu. 22:04, September 4, 2014 (UTC)

Or is Cthulu Batman... DUN DUN DUN the plot thickens...

In our next episode of random stupidity.... SOMEBODY KILL ME NOW I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!! - Narrator

Yor Skyhold Jester

a FRACKING JESTER!!! mine will be Hilarious and also when I pass judgement he will kill them in horrible ways to make me laugh I will name him..... KINKY!Star Metal Knight (talk) 00:07, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Sir Kinky Metal Knight to the rescue! Is it true serrah, that you defeated a twelve headed Nug dragon in your sleep, whilst eating lunch in your underpants? The myths and legends about you are immense. 09:42, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Lies all LIEZ! well most of it is true but you got one part wrong.... they wern't my underpants! ;) Star Metal Knight (talk) 13:03, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

I shall not be amused unless I see that funny man bleed, that's my kind of jokes *Takes out huges axe*--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:09, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

CALM DOWN 14:57, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

(Puts axe back in it's holster) Yes sir :(--Dave The Maniac (talk) 15:03, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Lord Cousland to the rescue I'm butt naked and will use my ultimet weapon of all weapons to defeat a giant nug demon. My weapon is Chuck Norris underpants.(Darion Cousland (talk) 15:17, September 5, 2014 (UTC))

Darion, there's a better weapon. One that is much more efficient. And in the hands of anyone willing to wield them, they are the deadliest weapon in existence. Two words.

OGHREN'S UNDERWEAR!

Or schleets... ACdeakial (talk) 18:19, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Oghren's pants aren't available, Dog already stole them a long time ago. Like how the Crows stole Vigilance (damn you Ignacio...) RShepard227 (talk) 19:55, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

DAI Banter

This was coming. Now that we know all the companions and a little about them, what do you think the banter will be like?

Imagine Cass's banter with Iron Bull. Do you think she'll be the grumpy lady? Can't wait to get underneath her cloth...i mean personality. 17:20, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

I liked to hear Isabela and the Iron Bull... "Are YOU as big as I think" said Isabela, "I don't know what you're talking about, you are seeing me and how tall I am"said the Iron Bull.

But Varric and the Iron Bull I bet there will be some weird references to Hawke and how he (as in Varric) killed a lot of Qunari.--Dave The Maniac (talk) 17:36, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

I'm just imagining Cass with Varric "Remember that one time, you stabbed my crotch? I think it's time I return the favour! *Stabb*", and Varric with Iron Bull. ACdeakial (talk) 17:38, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

I remember something from the gameplay footage. Bull was musing to Sera about a combat strategy, he hucks her through the air to the enemy's flank as a distraction, allowing him to charge in and cut them into three pieces with a single chop. Sera says it's a bad idea, he says it can work, but only she and Varric have the necessary aerodynamics, and Varric already refused. For obvious reasons. RShepard227 (talk) 19:53, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

I'd like to see someone steal Vivienne's hat and feed it to a nug. Or a darkspawn finds it, puts it on and starts prancing around with it. Xsari (talk) 23:45, September 5, 2014 (GMT)

Poop Monster!!!

Is it me or does the Old One looks like a massive shit, just took one that looks just like it... WTF!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 19:56, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

You mean, the Old One could be... THE GREAT MIGHTY POO??--209.105.128.46 (talk) 20:04, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

SHIT!!! (literally) that was one awesome game, love the Matrix and Aliens parts :P--Dave The Maniac (talk) 22:05, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

The Old One better sing in an opera voice for his boss fight then!--209.105.128.46 (talk) 23:11, September 6, 2014 (UTC)

"Poo...Pooo...Pooooo" - Alistair 20:06, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Dog Names

Just thought of something... I want to have my female dog named Isabela, 'cus she'd be a bitch :P--Dave The Maniac (talk) 20:01, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Good on you, I think Whorse will feel left out ya know. That's pretty mean of you. (Cries), that's just mean!!!! Whorse will feel left out you bully. My Nug Dragon shall destroy you, and Flemeth shall torture you, by tickling you. BEAT THAT! Oh and Cthulhu wants to marry you. 20:05, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Again?? I told Cthulhu I like him but as friend, also I don't swing that way (as in old gods).

Also Whorse will always be by my side hes my mighty stallion, that I like to kick and torture--Dave The Maniac (talk) 20:37, September 5, 2014 (UTC)

Just like Bantersaurus will remain by my side. Even if I choose to have Sten (Of the Beresaad) as my new steed!!! ACdeakial (talk) 00:32, September 6, 2014 (UTC)

Bantersaurus vs Whorse GO! 10:23, September 6, 2014 (UTC)

"Batersaurus' Arms are so tiny!!!!"ACdeakial (talk) 00:55, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Heresy

It has come to my noble and wise attention that all you people are heretics. I hear-by, in the name of the Inquisition, demand your surrender, and no more harm will be done to you. However, if you seek to retaliate, and harm any other individuals, you shall face certain repercussions that will be deemed appropriate in this manner. However, as you can see, this is no time to meddle. And as such, you are nearby arrested, and have no right to speak until the court session begins in front of the Inquisitor. Also, Whorse and Bantersaurus Rex are ordered to be put down, if found guilty of the heretical allegations. Please present your cases as to why you're innocent. Fiends. 00:16, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Simple. I am Orlesian. Why do you think I have zis outrageous accent? You do not frighten me you Fereldan pig-dog! Go and boil your bottom, you silly dog lord kanighit! I don't wanna talk to you anymore you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries! RShepard227 (talk) 00:28, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

How dare you speak to me in that manner. I'll have you know that I'm a court official from Antiva, and I'm totally not in the pocket of the Antivan Crows. Nevertheless, I find it horrendous that you speak to me in this manner. This is crude, and rude, and pretentious. Typical Orlesian I may add. You're beyond comprehension and thus you shall be hanged, drawn and quartered. 00:52, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

You smell like wet dog and rotten garbage from here. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time! RShepard227 (talk) 01:27, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

You smell like Flemeth's armpit, with a hint of Archdemon poop. 01:29, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

I'm sorry, but neither I, or bantersaurus, will allow himself to be put down without a fight. And I mean a spankingly good fight. Spank. Spank. spaaaannnnnnkkkk. Sorry. I got carried away, currently spanking Morrigan. ACdeakial (talk) 00:55, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Friend Fiction

Had an itch to scratch. Wrote some smut. Used Lazare as the protagonist because he's awesome and makes a great sacrificial lamb. XD Jesting, I love you brother! Anyway here you go guys:

Long Ago, longer now than it seems before... before he fell asleep the young Lord sat firmly in his Skyhold Throne. He was perusing the field reports given to him by Ser Cullen and nodding off the whole way through. Then there was a gentle breeze flowing into the room. “Frostbacks”, the young lord snorted in belittlement to the weather, “Damn Mountains always freeze your balls off.”

“Perhaps you need someone to warm you up, milord?” A voice came from the hall. The young lord peered over the reports and turned his head around to see where the voice had come from and found that a young maiden had taken up roost in a small chair.

“Fair eve it is not milady?” The young lord nodded courteously to the girl.

“That it is, Inquisitor.” She smiled his way and stroke the harp she had so closely nuzzled in her arms.

“Fair lady what brings you here?” The Inquisitor lived up to his name.

“I desire business with you.” She never looked at him, instead paying close attention to her harp’s strings.

He walked closely to her and tilted her head ever so slightly so that he may look into her calm, angelic grey eyes. She rose lightly as he pulled his hand away from her and back to his side. She caressed her hand firmly upon his shoulder and lightly worked the padded long coat off of his fine black and gold embroidered Orlesian silk jerkin. He cautiously inserted his hand inside of her luxurious fur cloak and pulled her belt off, but to his surprised found that there were was no sword, poison, or any other weapon, which an assassin would use.

“You’re unarmed.” The Inquisitor sighed in confusion and looked at her with coy eyes, same as child looks at his mother when she stops nursing.

“Of course not. I’ve come to answer a question.” She ran her fingers through his thick, wavy black hair.

“What was the question?” The Inquisitor asked with a hint of suspicion.

“Are the stories true about your” She paused and leaned so close she could taste the sweat appearing on the Inquisitor’s brow. “Prowess?”

“What sort of Prowess are we talking about?” The Inquisitor reached for the hidden knife he kept tucked into the back of his belt.

“I think you know what I’m inquiring about, Young Lord.” She smiled like a fox, sultry and sassy

“I don’t even know your name, girl. Why would I dare…”

She pranced her fingers upon his chest making a walking motion with them up to his nose. She grabbed the collar of his Jerkin and pulled him close enough to nibble on his ear. Whispering she emitted, “Ellie. Now make hot passionate love to me you mad marcher mountain lion.”

The Inquisitor blushed a scarlet red and then swept the minstrel off her feet and escorted her up a flight of stairs. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, he kicked the door open and laid her upon the bed. The girl tore off her dress revealing her round, puckered, breasts. The Inquisitor shed off his pants and shrugged off his Jerkin in a fit of fervent emotional ecstasy. He leapt upon the girl and she assaulted him with kisses. In his right hand he held her soft voluptuous thigh and in his left caressed her tender breast. He began to passionately kiss the woman, but then a loud voice erupted and struck him with panic.

“Lazare!”

“YES MOTHER!” The Inquisitor shot up bolt right and looked at the woman standing before him. “Cassandra,” he rubbed his eyes free of the crust that accumulated in his sleep.

“Have you finished reading the reports?” She stood tall and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Uh, no I was… just getting done.”

“Of course. Sorry for disturbing you, Inquisitor. One last thing. You’re seem to have… soiled yourself in your sleep, your Eminence.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” The Inquisitor covered himself. “I’ll just be… in the other room.” The Inquisitor hobbled out of the room covering his delicates the entire time.

“I wonder…” Cassandra planted her finger on her chin, looking intensely perplexed. “If I were to change my name to Ellie, maybe he’d like me more. I wish he’d notice me…”

Alright, I am so getting banned for this. I'll be singing this song when I go down: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wga81xJXQA

Anybody got some Friend Fiction of their own? B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:12, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

This is awesome! I'm doing one with you in it too, you awesome dude. I'm keeping this hahaha. 09:47, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Very well written B.S.S.T. I liked it, raunchy but not too much. Was funny too, looking forward to Lazare's story. Xsari (talk) 11:05, September 7, 2014 (GMT)

Gimme time. Kinda busy right now, but will definitely get onto it at some time. But guys, c'mon add your own! 10:26, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

me->*claps*. That was a good read, it has made me want more. Get to work Lazare. =) ACdeakial (talk) 10:48, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Lazare, I'm really happy you liked it. It didn't take long, but I had to bring out the old literary wit for this one. Haven't wrote a short story in some 6 odd months.

Xsari, coming from you that's a big compliment, thanks! I really appreciate it.

AC, I'm glad to hear you liked it!

You know I'm getting an itch again. Kind of like I want to do more of these. Who wants to be my next sacrificial lamb... er I mean Protagonist. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:29, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

"OOOHHH ME! ME! PICK ME!" *jumps around like an hyperactive child* ACdeakial (talk) 15:14, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

No problem, looking forward to your next one! Hope you like mine as well, though might not make so much sense unless you're on Lord Cousland's Dinner Party page. Xsari (talk) 17:30, September 7, 2014 (GMT)

I would like to be the main chracter for someone friendfic! I am even about to right my own.(Darion Cousland (talk) 12:33, September 8, 2014 (UTC))

My response to B.S.S.T's fantastic short story

So, ya know, I conjured this up. It had little to none editing so do excuse me if there are any mistakes. Regardless, BSST in this scenario is an Antivan Crow.

“The Antivan Crows send their regards.”

Those were the last words that came from B.S.S.T's sombre, yet venomous mouth as he lurched towards the weaponless noble. He attacked the feeble and old noble with little mercy, thrusting his dagger out as he stalked the injured old man, across the courtyard, with the night sky shadowing the tall, slim figure of the assassin.

“Your reputation accedes you, young assassin.” said the old man, gulping for air. “You may kill me, but you'll never find her.” B.S.S.T's eyes grew narrower, recognising that the old man would not give up any information in the current situation, as he knew, death was the only thing awaiting him.

“Old man, I care not for where she is, but who she is.” whispered the assassin with a cold and calculating voice. “The crows only seek to know who she is, and what connection she has to the Antivan monarchy, if you can provide this information, you will be allowed to live.” B.S.S.T's companion, the elven rogue, gasped in shock, realising that doing such a thing would bring repercussions.

“We leave no loose ends, this man must die B.S.S.T!” said Alenya, angrily. The old man, slowly got up, with a sense of relief in his grey, alleviated eyes. He walked gradually towards B.S.S.T, limping in agony, whilst maintaining a sense of caution. He led the two crows inside his mansion. Empty, cold, and dark, the mansion had long been past its glory days. Various paintings and sculptures, reminiscent of Orlesian and Fereldish cultures were scattered across the torn walls that stood tall around them. The chandelier, fragile and frail, looked as though it could fall at any moment.

“This woman you seek, I have no real connection to her, but from what I know she is definitely going places.” coughed the old noble. “However, the last I heard she's one of the advisors to the Inquisitor. Going after her is suicide.” B.S.S.T's eyes glared open, recognising the danger of such a task. “But, may I ask, why are the Crows after her...” His body dropped, ice cold, with a knife cemented in his back.

“I had to, B.S.S.T, I had no choice, we leave no loose ends, or have you forgotten that! This woman... we must kill her. Various scouts have told me that her name is Josephine. She must be killed.” scolded Alenya. The task was monumental. The two crows, fled from the scene. Their target... was Josephine. Held up in Skyhold, the two assassins faced the difficult task of not only reaching the dreaded fort, but also faced the possibility of angering the Inquisition, regardless of the outcome.

Twenty days had transpired since that evening in Orlais. There, Alenya stood with B.S.S.T by her side. “That's Skyhold.” she said. “Come on, this is the most the Crows have been offered since that rat, Zevran failed his mission to kill the Warden.”

The two assassins scaled the walls as the snow brushed past their cold-stricken faces. B.S.S.T struggled to climb over the north wall, and there, acting on instinct, they both hid behind a rock, as the Inquisitor rode past them with his faithful companions. “She's not with them.” he said.

As they entered Skyhold, they came across five guards of the Inquisition. Alenya fled to the shadows, with B.S.S.T being left alone and desolate. “Damn that bitch.” he screamed. The guards rushed towards him with their sharp spears. Despite how skilled they appeared to be, B.S.S.T destroyed them to an inch of their lives. Smirking as he ran towards the gate. There, Josephine stood by the war table, all alone. Alenya reached for her gold encrusted dagger, but B.S.S.T prohibited her from such actions, swayed by her exotic beauty.

“She's beautiful” whispered B.S.S.T, “I can't kill her.”

“What do you mean, you idiotic imbecile. The crows..” B.S.S.T had slit her throat, within an instant. As the blood trickled down Alenya's throat he glared at the woman that stood before him. There Josephine looked at him. Head on.

“Why...why. The Crows. I'm honoured.” She said in a flirtatious tone. “I knew it was only a matter of time before the Crows caught up to me.” She grabbed his hand, gently. She placed her other hand on his broad cheek, and slowly brought his head towards hers. “B.S.S.T, it has been too long.”

“You left me Josephine, I loved you with all my heart. I would scale the seas to meet your desires. I would climb the Frostback Mountains to fulfil your expectations. I would crawl the lengths of the Imperial Highway, just to hear your name, but you still left me.” said the crow, with a hint of innocence but a greater anger.

“My love, I left you, because the world around us is crumbling. I left you because the world ahead of us, may be none-existent.” There, Josephine led the young crow to her chambers. He slowly walked behind her, and kissed her gelatinous neck. Her eyes, grew larger, as her impressible pupils were fulfilled with joy and pleasure. She compelled him back, and pounced on his within an instance. The slow tone shifted towards a more rough experience.

The night transpired, with the sun rising amongst the mountainous ranges that engulfed Skyhold. B.S.S.T was nowhere to be found. Josephine, saddened by the lack of the sight of her love, read the short note left on the red silk sheets.

“My dear, I am too epic and awe-inspiring for just one person. Thus, I must now go to the brothel, and unleash that pleasure. All that wish wash, we said yesterday, we didn't realllly mean that did we? Nothing personal.”

There, B.S.S.T was relaxing, with a glass of wine in one hand, and grapes in the other, whilst the finest women in Thedas scoured him with pleasure. The Blooming Hanged Man's Rose, lived up to its continent wide infamy, for being the number one place for certain pleasures.

Well, thank you for reading that. B.S.S.T, I will do more! But yeah. 12:35, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Laz, I love it! It's awesome! You make me sound like a right limey bastard, which I am of course. This was really spectacular thanks man! B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:29, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Haha, I'm glad you liked it! 13:42, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

SO I'm wondering, can we get banned for this smut? More so myself than you. I was very... mature in my content. You kept it, mostly, child friendly. In any event I still want to do this again, but with a new protagonist. We can't have all the fun Laz. Wink, wink nudge, nudge. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:53, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Nah, you'll be alright. They won't ban you, as the admins would recognise it to be playful interactions between users. Oh, and of course!, this stuff needs to carry on. I'm planning on an avengers-esque story here, with us all in it, facing the Elder One. 14:13, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

And here I thought I made over the top stories. If you include me in it make sure to talk about my magnificent, short boxed beard. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:19, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Your epic beard shall be mentioned most definitely. 15:39, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Just... keep in mind that wikia isn't an 18+ site. Outright smut would probably be best somewhere where the minimum age to have an account isn't 13 ;D --♫ Kelcat ^Talk 01:39, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Excellent story Laz, very fitting for B.S.S.T. The ending was great, didn't see that coming. Hope I qualify for your Elder One story, would be fun to be part of it. Xsari (talk) 18:10, September 7, 2014 (GMT)

Why thank you very much! Yours was exquisite and magnificent too! And of course you qualify to be in it! 17:43, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Lazare could Lord Cousland be in your story where we all fight the Elder One please.(Darion Cousland (talk) 12:35, September 8, 2014 (UTC))

Yeah, could Deakial the Qunari mage also be in it? Just be sure to mention the silver horns. And his heavy drinking problem. ACdeakial (talk) 12:47, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Yes, of course you will be 13:57, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Deakial's adventure at the Blushing Chevalier

This story is for ACdeakial, it's a continuation of a discussion our characters had at Lord Cousland's Dinner Party. It's about his character, Deakial Adaar, paying a visit to the beautiful Qunari whore Rishara. Hope you like it and it's not too raunchy for anyone.

Deakial Adaar had finally reached his destination. Val Royeaux, the grand capital of Orlais. As he came to the stables he slid off the saddle of his trusty companion Jericho, the albino wyvern.

The stable master came out, shocked at the sight of the giant horned mage. "My lord Inquisitor I apologise but this stable is only for horses, I fear your wyvern will eat them..."

"Jericho has already been fed well" Deakial said. "You have nothing to fear"

He tossed the stable master a purse of gold and entered the city.

"Now..." he thought to himself. "Where could this legendary Blushing Chevalier brothel be?"

He had heard many stories of this lustrous place from his good dwarven friend Scaea Cadash. She had told of a beautiful Qunari woman named Rishara, and the incredible pleasures she gave.

Not much time had passed until he came upon the site. The sign on the outside gave it away easy enough, a beautiful human woman peeling off her Silverite armour. Her left breast was exposed and her fiery red hair cascaded down her shoulders. One hand touched her ruby lips and her cheeks blushed red as though she had just been caught revealing herself.

"Hmmm Ser Aveline" Deakial thought. "Very nice"

He entered the brothel. It was packed with many male patrons of varying race and wealth, as well as several female ones.

The Madame, a busty human woman in a velvet green corset approached him.

"Ah my lord Inquisitor, such a pleasure to see you here" she said in her slick Orlesian accent. "What can I get for you?"

"Perhaps a gorgeous elf for a handsome Qunari" said an elf covered head to toe in what appeared to be Dalish tattoos, though Dalish he clearly wasn't. He was also wearing far less then Deakial wished to see. "I am Julian de Grand, you can find out for yourself how I got that name."

He reached his hand up the Qunari's leg but was quickly shoved away before he managed to get hold of anything more... personal.

"Touch me again elf and I will burn you to ash, then feed what's left of you to my wyvern!" Deakial shouted as he lifted his staff from his back and pressed it into the fallen elf's face.

"Forgive me my lord" squirmed Julian. "Please don't hurt my face! Not my beautiful face!"

"Begone!" Deakial sneered and allowed the elf to crawl away.

"Apologies my lord" said the Madame. "Julian can be foolish at times, that boy thinks he's the Makers gift and any patron would want him. Perhaps a young lady, free of charge of course for this outrage."

"The Qunari woman Rishara" Deakial said as he sheaved his staff. "Is she available?"

"You're in luck my lord, Rishara has just started for the day and is fresh from her bath. Third room on the left up the stairs. Enjoy".

With a flirtatious wink the Madame moved on to another waiting patron.

Deakial quickly ascended the stairs, taking four steps at a time. He reacted the door to Rishara's chambers and opened it.

Inside the Qunari woman sat at an elaborately carved vanity. Deakial stood in awe, Scaea's description didn't give this beautiful creature justice. His eyes traced up her perfect bronze-skinned figure, naked but for the flowing translucent dress. Her long black hair was still slightly wet and her graceful horns curled like a Halla's. Her face was picturesque with full lips, curving cheekbones and stunning violet eyes.

"Asit tal-eb" he said the password Scaea had taught him.

"It is to be" Rishara mirrored the words in the comman tongue. Her voice was like honey. "So you are a friend of the lovely Scaea are you?"

She raised from her seat, turning to face him.

"Ah a fellow Qunari" she smiled "What a delightful change to have a patron of my own kind, and such a strong handsome one as well. The deluxe experience for the price of regular then, leave the gold on the vanity after."

"You're Madame has allowed me to have you for free" he said. "As payment for some... unwanted attention."

Rishara chuckled "Ah let me guess, Julian? I should have known. Free then, but I'm sure it will be no loss on my part."

"That it won't be" with a flick of his hand her dress fell from her shoulders to the floor.

"A mage as well? Impressive" she walked slowly and seductively towards him. "Tell me, have you heard what they say about a Qunari man with horns as large as yours?"

"I have not" he said as he removed his long coat and shirt, revealing his muscled torso.

As she reached him she stroked his horns and lightly kissed his lips. "They say his manhood will be just as extraordinary."

She undid his trousers and slipped them down his legs.

"Hmmm" she smiled. "Looks like that saying is true."

With that she passionately kissed him. He lifted her up and threw on the bed, positioning himself on top as he kissed her neck and breasts. I'll leave you to imagine the rest...

Two hours later he left the brothel. With a large grin on his face and a swagger in his step he returned to his faithful wyvern Jericho, who had unfortunately eaten one of the horses with a cut on its leg. Guess he wasn't so full after all...

Xsari (talk) 16:25, September 7, 2014 (GMT)

.......I...I am speechless. This is fantastic. Thank you so much Xsari. I love it. Especially the inclusion of Jericho, and him eating a horse. I will have to work on making one for you in return, when I have the chance. ACdeakial (talk) 15:32, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Couldn't miss trusty Jericho out! So glad you enjoyed it. Looking forward to mine from you, thanks :) Xsari (talk) 17:50, September 7, 2014 (GMT)

Bravo, Brava, Bravissimo! That was magnificent Xsari and so well done! Though I was hoping it'd get more steamy. What can I say, I'm a fetishist at heart. Nevertheless you did an amazing job! Can't wait to see more. :) B.S.S.T. (talk) 16:59, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks so much, I really appreciate it! I did think about making it more steamy but was worried I'd get into trouble if I put too much detail in. I'm sure you can imagine what Deakial and Rishara got up to though ;D Xsari (talk) 18:20, September 7, 2014 (GMT)

I certainly can... Giggity. ACdeakial (talk) 17:30, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Friend Fiction: Volume 2

I felt Xsari was being left out, so I made more friend fiction. Here you are:

Long ago, longer now than it seems before, before she took a bath... a golden ray of luminescence cascaded across the tree tops of the forest as the young cloaked huntress drank from a crystal clear lake. A Halla buckled and bleated into the emptiness of the forest.

“Peace, Amelia. What’s wrong girl?” The huntress rubbed the muzzle of her Halla. Suddenly a group of bandits emitted from the forest as fog and surrounded the young girl.

“Hello, lass. Fancy clothes you got there, aye? I take it you’re some noble woman’s bitch right?” A raven haired bandit, who wore light silverite armor, came forward. He twirled his sword in front of the girl, so as to intimidate her, but the young hunter only snorted in his direction and tended to her Halla.

“It’s impolite to not talk when you’re spoken to, Knife Eared.” He spat.

The huntress looked at him with a sneer that was reminiscent of a High Dragon’s roar. She slung her bow off her back and knocked an arrow onto it. “I am much more than just a knife ear, Shemlen. You would do wise to apologize and leave.”

“Ha! She’s got spunk! I rather like this one.” A voice from a nearby branch yelled out in laughter.

The huntress looked up and noticed three bandits nesting upon the branches. She looked around and noticed another six that were staying close to the trees. She breathed in deeply and sighed, “What do you want?”

“Your gold… and perhaps a good time, if you catch my drift.”

“Yeah that’s… not gonna happen.” The huntress shot her arrow into the heart of the Bandit. It planted itself firmly into his chest guard, but he managed to pull it out without strife. While the Bandit was adjusting the arrow in his chest the young huntress back flipped into the lake and dove deep under its banks. The lead Bandit pointed two of his men towards the water. One flanked the left side and the other took to the right. Stealthily they peered into the water and in a flash two hands grabbed their heads and dragged them down into the depths.

The lead bandit looked at the men in the tree tops and screamed, “Well don’t just sit their shoot her!”

Three volleys of arrows were shot into the water and then everything was quite. The leaves did not rustle. The animals did not speak. Even the huntress’ Halla was silent. Then there was a large pool of blood and a body came up from the depths of the lake wearing the fur cloak of the huntress. The lead Bandit walked over to the body cautiously and flipped it over. As soon as he saw the body’s face the huntress burst out of the water and assaulted him with a dagger. The bandits in the tree tops readied their bows once more and shot at here, but she slit the throat of their leader and used his body as a meat shield. Upon hearing the third arrow’s thud into the man’s back she threw it at the other four bandits that had been watching in horror as their friends were being slain. They leapt out of the way as she took out a second dagger and threw both at the Bandits in the tree. They dodged the daggers, but fell with a thud on top of two other bandits on the forest floor. The huntress took out her bow and knocked a trio of arrows and shot one at the last man in the tree tops and one each at the last two standing men. The last men were incapacitated upon the forest floor, but they would get up at any minute now, so the huntress reached onto her belt and took out a large jar of swarming bees.

“Boys shouldn’t be kicking hives you might get stung… literally.” She chucked the glass jar onto the last four, took to her Halla, and road off into the sunset as they bandits screamed and wailed in agony.

Upon returning to Skyhold the Inquisitor walked her Halla into the stables and was confronted by Cassandra.

“Dear Maker, Xsari! You’re completely wet and covered in blood! What happened?” Cassandra gasped in astonishment.

“There were some Bandits in the woods. I took care of them though. Can you tell one of the servants to run me a hot bath? I think I need it.”

“Of course, your Eminence.” Cassandra bowed and walked with the Inquisitor into Skyhold where she would find a hot bath and a good meal waiting for her.

And as tradition dictates here is a song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upwY47g-uP0 B.S.S.T. (talk) 21:21, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Awesome B.S.S.T. thanks so much! Was great, really enjoyed it. Loved how you made me an elven huntress archer, that's my favourite way of playing fantasy games like Dragon Age. Xsari (talk) 00:20, September 8, 2014 (GMT)

Glad you liked it! It took me a little while to get through it, but I enjoyed it. I especially liked the part about the Bees. The challenge with that was not making a lame pun. When you're dealing with bees it almost always ends in lame puns. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:36, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

This is Awesome

Just a shout out to all of you guys, that we've truly made this place an enjoyable, experience, and we're all as part of it, as anyone else. Let's make sure to carry this on huh? 23:22, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Can do buddy! If things get stale I'll just write some smut. That's bound to get a few reactions. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:36, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

who ever makes the best fanfic about me without anyhelp ill base my first inquisitor off them including race class and sex...... may the odds be ever in your favor!Star Metal Knight (talk) 01:05, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

ps this is the best idea ive had on this wiki love you guysStar Metal Knight (talk) 01:06, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Oh yes. I'll work on it for tomorrow. This was a collective contribution really 13:20, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

very true wait are you all my split personalities?Star Metal Knight (talk) 01:04, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Finally someone loves me!!!! now I can die happy and life will be perfect!!!!

Ps. Sorry for not connecting on the weekend, have a deal with the GF no internet on weekends T_T--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:48, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

You must love your woman a lot. I would not know how that feels, for I've never been. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:55, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

May I ask when will it be proper for me to post ndue pics of me in bed of flowers and a rose in my hand.--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:50, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

It was always proper. Send them newds, boy! B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:55, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Well...that escalated. 13:57, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

We gots to make sure teh womenz has enough fanservice. Otherwise this place turns into a sausagefest and I don't know about you, but I want no sausage fest. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:02, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

I propose we all do nude pics of us all post them here and let the women choose who is sexier--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:07, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

I can't do that. The women would laugh at my small manhood and then I would feel the shame of a thousand suns burning all at once. You guys wouldn't understand! You're all huge! B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:12, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Looks Are Everything

So every time I think of Inquisition my mind immediately goes to this thought and I'm wondering if anyone else has considered it. What does your personal Inquisitor look like? B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:36, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

My first human inquisitor will have long hair, but not in the sense of the classical knight long hair haha. He'll have a light beard too. Grey eyes, and black to brown hair. He'll be rather pale, in regards to his skin colour. 23:52, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

Personally I'm using Edward Kenway as a preface for my Inquisitor's face. Medium long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a lot of scars. A LOT. I'm thinking of giving him a nice tanned, but not too dark, skin color. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:17, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

My first inquisitor... Well, since Qunari were announced as a playable race, I have longed to be able to start my first platythrough as a male qunari mage. Or vashoth or whatever it is. But since we don't know much about the customization option for a qunari's face, I'll just have to say my hopeful appearance. As I do with most of my "first" characters, I make them in my image. Which is why I love the qunari, since I am most like them. Being built like a brick S***house (kind of), and standing at about 6 ft 2, with short golden blonde hair, much like alistair's, and ice-y/sky blue eyes. My inquisitor would look like me, given that I also have a rather pale complexion, aside from my freckles, I feel it fits better than what I have tried before with humans. If I could adjust the horns, I would say they should be no larger than my hand, and painted pure silver. He will have no beard either.

So, for TL;DR. My first Inquisitor is a Qunari mage, with blue eyes, a small scar above his lip, with silver horns about 7 inches long. He also has short, possibly golden-ish, hair, and no piercings or tattoos, alongside the regular Qunari pale skin paint. As well as a slight stubble, much more prominent around the chin. ACdeakial (talk) 00:20, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Do you think we'll have piercings in DA: I? I'd love to have that, but I don't know if it'll be an option. I'd also love me some body tattoos. It'd be awesome to have a huge ass dragon on your back or something, but that's neither here nor there. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:46, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

I'm not sure whether we will have piercings. I only said that because of the number of Qunari with piercings we saw in DA2. But at the same time, I can't see why they wouldn't allow the option for Qunari, considering it's quite common amongst Qunari. Now, with regards to body tattoos, I highly doubt we will see them. Since the visuals would be cancelled out by any armor you may wear, there's not much point. But radically different facial tattoos, Yes. If I get the option to give a Qunari a Dalish tattoo, I will be disappointed. Purely because I think it's lazy of them to not make a "unique" customization experience. Especially regarding facial tattoos, I'd much rather race unique tattoos rather than the ones that apply to all races, like they did in origins. ACdeakial (talk) 01:00, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Body tattoos are an oddity in gaming in general. In Games like GTA V and AC:IV you have body tattoos, but your clothes cover them all up. In GTA V at least you got the option to show them off by taking off a shirt or wearing shorts, but in AC: IV the only time you ever saw them was during shark hunting adventures. On the other hand though it is an added bonus to customization and playing the game how you want, which is something Bioware aspires to do in most, if not all, of their games. I agree completely with you on the face tattoos though. It's nice to see that added bonus of having race specific tattoos for my Dwarf and Elf. It's kind of sad to see that they added no new tattoos for DA2 though. That was just kind of lame. B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:09, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Similar to what ACdeakial said I plan to play first as a Qunari but at the moment we don't know the customisation option's so I'll just say what I'd like. Basically how I described Rishara in my story; bronze-skinned with long black hair and graceful horns curled like a Halla's. Her face would be as striking as I can make with full lips, curving cheekbones and violet eyes. I plan to play as an archer rouge and now think I'll actually name her Rishara as I've found I really quite like that name. Xsari (talk) 10:00, September 8, 2014 (GMT)

My first one was rather short, so I'll explain in more details. This is how I envisage my Inquisitors of all races. This is merely in looks, and not personality.

• Male Human Inquisitor: The basis of him is Rollo from Vikings. A tall, rugged man, with pale skin, dark long hair, but grey piercing eyes. I want him to have an intimidating aura. He'll have a lot of facial scars. He'll have a light beard, and a thick neck. His lips will be somewhat dry, and light red. They'll lack colour presumably. He'll be a warrior if you hadn't guessed as much.

• Female Human Inquisitor: My female Inquisitor would ideally look like Lagertha, by the way, if you haven't heard of her, she was a famous Viking Battle-maiden in Viking mythology. She'll have long blonde hair, and a mere few scars. Her eyes will be green. She will be tanned, and will have a definitive jaw. Oh, I should also mention to you guys that, Vikings and DA have a certain link. They both now share the SAME composers. YEY. Oh, she will also be a warrior, a weapon and shield warrior.

• Male Elf Inquisitor: My male elf rogue will have looks hopefully similar to Legolas. like this. However, my elf will have short ginger hair, and long ears. Blue eyes, and a clear pale skin.

• Female Elf Inquisitor: She will be a mage. Her looks are hopefully going to be reminiscent of something like this. Curly shoulder length hair however, with white eyes and hair. Slightly tanned, and dark red lips. Her ears will be unusually short. She'll have a long face, with a short nose.

• Male Dwarf Inquisitor: Though I rarely play as a dwarf, I will probably get to it. He'll have a rough long brown beard, and will be bold. His eyes will be a piercing black. He will be a warrior anyways, wielding a battle-axe. I originally wanted to give him the look of Oghren, but thought I'd even get freaked out by that. A stocky face, with a large, but short chin.

• Female Dwarf Inquisitor: Short straight brown hair. Yellow eyes, (SITH I TELL YOU), and tanned skin. A round short face.

• Male Qunari Inquisitor: Tall, no surprise there. Long white hair, with grey eyes, he'll have a look similar to the Arishok. He will have the longest horns possible, and a really defined jaw, with a long chin. He'll be a mage.

• Female Qunari Inquisitor: If I can make her bold, then yes. My female Inquisitor will hopefully have no eyebrows. She will be unusual, looking weird to even her own Qunari contemporaries. She will also have no horns. She'll be a rogue archer. Unusual for a Qunari.

So guys I must ask, which one of my Inquisitors did you like the most, based on looks? I personally think the male and female inquisitors have the potential to look cool. 11:04, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

I'm torn between your unusual (scary as fuck) Fem Qunquistor and your Legolas elf. They're both so awesome! B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:02, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

I don't like any 'cus there is no sex crazy, bondage slave, latex fan character... we need to fix that :P--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:06, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

They all sound cool but particularly the human female Inquisitor. Badass warrior lady! Xsari (talk) 11:10, September 9, 2014 (GMT)

Playing DA:I

So yeah, where will you guys be playing DA:I... I'm between buying an Xbox One or playing it in my PS3. If most say a plataform I may buy it and play it there.--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:24, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

I'm all for the PS4 bandwagon with my bro Rshep. I love that guy. He's a fucking awesome badass. Starry Knight said he's a PS4 as well and I got a close friend to play with on PS4, so I'm all settled in nice and cosy... with josie. Sorry XD! I saw it on the BSN forum the other day and it made me chuckle, so I had to use it. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:33, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

So I'll need to buy a PS4... ooh well, can you buy me one for my Birthday???--Dave The Maniac (talk) 14:39, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Ask Lazare, I'm sure he'll let you borrow it. Unless you get some mysterious white fluid on it. You know like... horchata. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:41, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

I should be on the PS4 as well. But I probs won't be doing coop until I have completed half a dozen playthroughs. Or I have a large amount of free time. ACdeakial (talk) 14:40, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Ah looks like I'm one of the few here who's playing it on Xbox One then lol. Oh well, still can't wait! Xsari (talk) 10:55, September 9, 2014 (GMT)

Lord Cousland's Friend Fiction: Part 1

I can't seem to figure out how to begain a new topic on here so I will just say what this is. I am doing a friend fiction sort of with Xsari's character from my Lord Couslands Dinner Party board. I have more of these planned so more of my friends will get the chance to be in my friend fictions. This one is about somthing from Lord Couslands history in wich his mage wife is on the run from the Templars trieing to find her way back home and meets Xsari's character it is also the story of her death; Xsari's chracter never knows this woman is lady Cousland because she never gives her her real name.It is also before the breach happens so Xsari's character is not an agent of the Inqision yet neigher is Lord Cousland. It is from the point of view of Scaea who is Xsari's character. Let me know what you all think. Xsari feel free to edit anything you think may not be in line with your characters personality, but I will try to keep it as close as I can.

Scaea Cadash was a very optimistic dwarf. She liked making money, and probably making romances even more. She was tired after a long day of killing bandits that kept trying to rob her on the road. She wanted to reach the fabled Teventer Ruins excavation, which if her sources had been correct was home to a lot of really valuable artefacts that would make Scaea an immensely wealthy dwarf. She was traveling in Ferelden were she would find an inn called The Wicked Sorceress. She was to then meet a contact inside.

It was around ten o clock in the evening when she finally reached the front door to the inn. She walked in and saw it was a rather large place with lots of patrons, be they shadowy or honest. The smell was a mixture of strong drink and bad body odor with the the faintest hint of second class music playing in the background. In other words this was her kind of place.

She looked around carefully scanning the area; hand on one of her dagggers ready if danger decided to show itself. After a little while she finally spotted her contact. He was a big burly man named Barlen. She sat down next to him at the bar. Before she even addressed him she ordered a drink.

"What would you like?" the inn keeper asked.

"Give me a dwarven ale and make it extra strong" she said.

The inn keeper filled a mug with a dark brown liquid and handed it to her. She took it and drank the ale. It went down her throat in a completly satisfying way.

"Thats's the good stuff" she said. She than tured to the man seated next to her.

If Scaea had learned anything in her life it was that strangers (regardless of whether you had business dealings with them or not) were not always to be trusted, so naturally she made every "contact" learn a code phrase.

"Can a Griffen kill a Dragon?" she asked.

"Only if the Dragon is a baby Dragon" he responded.

The response was right. This man was Barlen.

"Well now that's out of the way I suggest we get to the matter at hand, what do you say Muscles?"

"Muscles?" Barlen responded.

"One thing you should learn about me is that I like to give poeple nicknames. Now are we going to do this or not?"

Barlen merely raised his eyebrows and said "Yes we can begain. I have the information you asked for about that Teventer excavation site. Do you have your side of the deal?"

Scaea pulled a packet out of her napsack. "I have the packet that I got from my Carta contact right here. You use this new identity to start a new life completely free of the authorities. That is after you give me the information of course. All you have to do is tell me what I want to know and it's all yours." She waved the packet in front of his face to let it sink in.

He looked at in longingly and said. "This packet should make everything better. It's been hard to show my face in public without being reconized."

"That's what happens when you kill a man in public. Now do you want this or do I have to give it to someone else?" she smirked.

"Of course I want it! What in particular do you want to know?" Barlen said a bit too loudly.

"That's more like it" she chuckled. "Well you can start off by telling me where it is".

"It's about three miles west down the road from here. Not far from the The Circle Tower" said Barlen.

"How does the security look?"

"There are Templars crawling all over the place. Led by a man named Knight Captain Fraizer. Figures the chantry dogs would try to get their hands on the Teventer artifacts before anyone else" he replied.

Scaea should have known there would be Templars, there were always Templars.

"How many Templars are there?" she asked.

"At leased fifty or so" he said.

"Well sounds like it could be a little more difficult than I first thought, but nothing I can't handel" she said with a grin on her face.

"Okay I kept my part of the deal. Can I have that packet now?" he asked.

Scaea handed him the packet. "Thank you" he said as he slipped it under his coat.

"Take care of yourself Muscles and try not to kill anyone again." she cheerily said.

As Barlen left the inn Scaea sat back and drank more of her ale. She then noticed an attractive young dwarven man, sitting at a table from across the bar smiling at her. She smiled back and waved.

She could go to the excavation site tomorrow, after all the days pursuits she was entitled to a little pleasure and excity to reward herself.

"He's about to get lucky tonight" Scaea thought with a smile.

She picked up her mug and was about to walk over when she was stoped by a commotion in the corner. ( More will come in part 2)

I know it dosen't completely mach what is in the above description about what the story is about, but I'm getting to that in part 2. I will probaly post that tomorrow. Tell me what you all think so far.(Darion Cousland (talk) 15:10, September 8, 2014 (UTC))

To start a new topic click "=" <-- that twice then put in your title and two more equal signs. In format it will read as =)=Whatever=(= just without the parentheses. B.S.S.T. (talk) 15:15, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

soooo can you pass the Cliff Notes???--Dave The Maniac (talk) 15:16, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Er, let's wait for Lazare to get back. Because I don't like reading huge walls of text either XD! Sorry Dare Bear, I love you man, but I hate reading blocks of text. It ain't fun. B.S.S.T. (talk) 15:18, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

If I don't see my name in teh next friend fiction I'm gonna cry and also my Man Whorse will cry--Dave The Maniac (talk) 15:20, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks Darion really like it, can't wait for part 2! You got her personality dead on. Hope you don't mind but I've edited the layout slightly to make it a bit easier for me to read. Thanks again, I appreciate it. Xsari (talk) 10:32, September 9, 2014 (GMT)

Soooo...

So saw this thread and just had to comment .It seems like such fun dirty disturbing crazy fun ...in all my sorta fun and best of all your all DA fans :p (maybe? Still not sure if thats the best part) Anyways dunno if you guys are ok with ME commenting here but...oh well xD i just couldnt resist joining in, like crashing a party! (Ooh and i dont think there are any other girls here so im even happier :D ) feel free to kick me out for showig up univited if you no want me here Blitzbear93 (talk) 15:52, September 8, 2014 (UTC)Blitzbear93

It's an open forum, you're welcome to post...just remember We're all crazy in here (Keeps riding his Man Whorse along the path that reads "TO THE MAD HOUSE").--Dave The Maniac (talk) 16:00, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

We welcome all here, as long as you're not trying to derail the crazy train. Anyway Dave, I see you Man Whorse and raise you my Mecha-Bantersaurus Rex. P.S. Don't laugh at his the size of his arms. He requested super large ones because he had always had tiny ones. Hehe, his arms are bigger than Oghrens skidmarks... ACdeakial (talk) 16:04, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

OOhh yeah well my Man Whorse san stand any pain you give it and actually enjoys it--Dave The Maniac (talk) 16:20, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Have you ever read Sunstone? I feel like you'd enjoy it. B.S.S.T. (talk) 16:22, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Is it this[2]?? I haven't read but will try when my GF isn't around let's just say she's isn't a lot into high level stuff like I am--Dave The Maniac (talk) 16:32, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

That's it! It's pretty softcore, but the story... dear maker the story. It's... indescribable. You have to read it to understand how good it is. Trust me when I say, you'll be hooked by the middle of chapter one. B.S.S.T. (talk) 16:37, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Bantersaurus is a master of humiliation. And degradation. Man Whorse is no match for him, especially now that he's happy with his arms. Yeesh, their big. Robot arm extensions are incredible. ACdeakial (talk) 17:55, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Humiliation and degradation??? he lives for that!!!! I can lend it to you if that's the case, also I got plenty of spares :P--Dave The Maniac (talk) 18:19, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Party master... I mean Lazare, said in the introduction that anyone can come in. Xsari was the first lass to join us. You're welcomed in the hallowed halls of the Blooming Hanged Man's Rose, just be careful. You might find some newd pics of Dave and if you see a Whorse don't feed it carrots! Oh and Bantersaurus is self-conscious about his arms, so be gentle. Oh and one last thing, you're gonna be apart of friend fiction whether you want to or not. ;) B.S.S.T. (talk) 16:09, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

Yay i love CRAZY...seriously in my home wiki we spend most of our time talkimg bout porn and posting random crap that would likely scare off other users...*orders a barmaid to bring her a jar of honeyed salmon wine, "ima bear damn it feed me or ill eat YOU and no sheep i might be from New Zealand but that dont mean i like sheep" Blitzbear93 (talk) 04:54, September 9, 2014 (UTC)Blitzbear93

uhh....BOOBS... am i doing this right? (also i'm new and not sure where to post :|) --Cookiecousland (talk) 12:57, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

You're doing fine just don't say "boobs" too loud. Dave might hear you and then he'll put you in latex and rope or chains. From there it gets pretty weird. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:07, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

(Takes out ropes, gags, chains, whips and stuff and things) Someone said boobs??? I like boobs... can play with them (Smiles creepily)--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:33, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

New theme song for DA:I

Just heard this, the singer for DA:I's theme is gonna be sung by American heavy metal sensation Lorde along with Lil' Wayne, Lil' Wayne has said that thins song is gonna set a record for the most uses of the word Nigga and Fuck and they will be covering WE WILL ROCK YOU!!! and it promises to be a better cover than Queens original version!!! OMG!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 17:48, September 8, 2014 (UTC)

HERESY. Nothing can beet the original version! Burn him, naked, on the stake. BURRRN DAVE. 11:25, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Don't kill the messenger, I'm just saying what I've heard--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:25, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Ask SMK a question!

Dear friends ask me a question I will answer it truthfully doesnt matter the question I will answer remember it will take time for me to answer so many paths so many futures! ask if you dare!Star Metal Knight (talk) 01:08, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

1. What do you think of the awesome Lazare326?

you are awesome! lol you put strong faith in all those around you although sometimes you dont want to lead there is no place better you belong your worst enemy is thy self beat him and you will be unstoppable Star Metal Knight (talk) 02:17, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

You just brought a tear to my eye. THANK YOU. 11:24, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

2. On a serious note, what is it that you do for a living? 01:14, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Im in the U.S Coast Guard been in 7 1/2 years ...Murica!Star Metal Knight (talk) 02:17, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

How did you meet your wife? How long have you been with your wife? and lastly What are you going to name your child? B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:20, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

I was on my First port call on USCGC Dauntless we met at a little bar she really was the one time stops for my legs had a mind of their own cause the next thing I knew i was next to her... and didnt think of a fucking thing to say on my way over haha! weve been together 4 years married for almost 3 and known each other for 6, youd love the story how I proposed lol and weve decided to name our little girl Elora Nicole Bell but pernounced with a heavy A.Star Metal Knight (talk) 02:25, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

I do so love stories. Thank you for sating my curiosity. It's much appreciated. B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:29, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

That's a really beautiful name. Wow. 11:25, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

(Cries a bit) OOh god... that makes me wet all over--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:35, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

How did you propose then? I'm curious. Xsari (talk) 10:58, September 9, 2014 (GMT)

I wanted it to be the most special moment in her life she had gone to Cali to visit her mom so I had a month to plan all my moving pieces. I had reserved a room for the weekend for us at the Emily Morgan Hotel in San Antonio a very nice suite with one of those large Jacuzzi baths , next I had placed Dinner Reservations at this amazing restaurant called Bigga on the Banks (one of the best meals I had in my life).

I also ordered Roses for our table when I called them I told them about the Roses and it being a special occasion the promised a great set up. Next was the ring I had paid it off but they had to resize it to fit her there was a complication to where I wasn’t going to have It the lady knew I was going to propose that weekend and although she could of lost her job for doing it she let me borrow the display one of her model she put a spacer on it to fit her size and told me that on our way back I could pick up her real one (crisis averted ) she returned from her mothers and the very next day we were on the road to San Antonio she knew we were going away for the weekend but had no idea what was really going on we checked into the hotel nice big bed great view of the city and the super huge bath I asked for she wanted to relax but I told her we needed to go to this great resturaunt  ;) I heard about… of course we couldn’t find it at first we were walking all over and couldn’t find the entrance she was getting fed up she just wanted to eat haha but we finally arrived they took us to out table … It couldn’t of been better the had pulled back a curtain to reveal a candle lit table for 2 overlooking the river walk with her roses on the table it was perfect we ordered and ate and she went to the bathroom ( ok later on at this point she knew something was up she said she was going to the restroom but she actually went to call her mom and tell her that she thinks im going to ask her to marry me ) ok so she comes back everything was perfect the waiter asks if wed like some champagne or anything …… I said no Id like the check please the look the waiter and Krista gave me was so damn funny they thought I got cold feet or something it was so hard to keep a straight face as we were walking out the rest of the staff gave me looks of either HE got cold feet or SHE said no….. but it was not that moment I had chosen the walk back was pretty quiet I could only imagine what was going through her mind when we got back to the room I asked her to take a bath with me she was pissed but finally I got her to come into the bathroom the tub was surrounded with little lit candles she came in and we relaxed and played in the bubbles I finally got to one knee and said my words to her going over how the sea brought us together and how she is the best part of my life and more I had hidden away a golden sea shell covered in diamonds and let her open it well she gave it back to me to open cause it had a tricky latch then in the candle light she had seen her ring I asked her to marry me ….she said yes with tears in her Beautiful eyes…

Star Metal Knight (talk) 17:27, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Wow... that story was so beautiful and heart melting! Sounds absolutely wonderful, she's a very lucky woman to have such a great and caring guy as you. Hope when the time comes I get proposed to by my boyfriend it's at least half as magical as that. Thanks for sharing it. Xsari (talk) 18:46, September 9, 2014 (GMT)

Sniff... sniff.... that was... really beautiful man. I genuinely loved that story. SHADDUP! I'm not crying. It's just... hot and my tear ducts sometimes sweat. Shaddup! It can happen. Fuck you guys. I'm going to go do something manly. Like watch monster trucks or drink or have sex, or maybe all three at the same time. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:11, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

1.- is she a gamer and how do you deal with your gaming habits (I ask 'cus mine isn't and need to know how to deal with)???--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:29, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

no she is not a game she doesnt like Renfest, Anime, video games, action movies, comics or really anything else we really like on here lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 17:38, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

My boyfriend's the same, weird that cos I thought most guys liked video games... Everyone thinks the xbox is his but then he's like "nope that's my girlfriends" lol. Xsari (talk) 18:56, September 9, 2014 (GMT)

My GF does not game and does not get gaming, Renfest, Animes, action movies, comics or really anything else we really like on here (just like yours SMK), I game when she's either taking a nap, bathing or working but when she's asleep I suddenly hear a voice saying "get your ass to bed now!"--Dave The Maniac (talk) 20:48, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

2.- Any recommendations for a guy who just moved in with his GF?--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:29, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

tons but it will have to wait till i get home to answerStar Metal Knight (talk) 17:38, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

3.- What do you think of everyone here?--Dave The Maniac (talk) 13:29, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

I dont have a problem with anyone that I know of curious if anyone has one with me lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 17:38, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry if my questons sound a bit random, but sometimes that's all I can think of.

1.- What's your favorite color? (Darion Cousland (talk) 16:51, September 9, 2014 (UTC))

favorite color groing up was Orange but its been Blue for a long time nowStar Metal Knight (talk) 17:38, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

2.- Do you play SKYRIM, and or Dragons Dogma? (Darion Cousland (talk) 16:51, September 9, 2014 (UTC))

I got really far on Skyrim rember its FUS RO DAH! when fighting Dragons but when fighting the wife its FUS RO AHHHH SHHHHIT THE WIFE WANTS ME TO GET OFF THE DAMN GAME!!!Star Metal Knight (talk) 17:38, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

3.- Do you play SWTOR and if not what MMOs do you play if any? (Darion Cousland (talk) 16:51, September 9, 2014 (UTC))

I really wish I could play TOR Revan is my favorite Starwars character the only way im gonna be able to play it is if they bring it to PS4 since I dont have a decent computerStar Metal Knight (talk) 17:38, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

4.- What's your real first name? (I bet it's Bob, Tom, or Leroy). (Darion Cousland (talk) 16:51, September 9, 2014 (UTC)) My REAL first name is GerrenStar Metal Knight (talk) 17:43, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Please lord let it be Leroy and your last name Jenkins!!!--Dave The Maniac (talk) 17:06, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

5.-(And now the most important hybrid queston) Do you like Skittels and do you like puppies!? (Darion Cousland (talk) 16:51, September 9, 2014 (UTC))

I do like sour skittels and I love puppies i have 2 a black lab named Blake and a Huskie shepard wolf mix... named LolahStar Metal Knight (talk) 17:43, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Are you aware of what happened to the last Dragon Age military man who constantly mentioned his wife heavy with child back home? What are your plans to avoid a similar fate in Inquisition multiplayer? >:) RShepard227 (talk) 21:23, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Answer wisely. You're going to be playing with him and me. Unless you don't want to then we have Luper. Warden Commander, don't tell the Shaper about this. He might cry, then I'll cry, then we'll never get any loot. B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:26, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

haha no worries fellas she has come a long way she knows how much D age means to me as long as I have time me Swords are yours Star Metal Knight (talk) 22:52, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

OGB King of Ferelden

Guys, imagine if Alistair beds Morrgian and has the Old God Baby. Now, imagine that he has no other heirs to the throne when he dies. Now imagine this OGB becoming the King of Ferelden. 14:12, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

The whole of Thedas would fall under his control, even the Qunari. Also have a feeling he could be a mage since his mother is one which would make him all the more powerful.

Or he'll be a nice king who loves puppies and cake and wants to be friends with everyone. Xsari (talk) 16:25, September 9, 2014 (GMT)

I can just imagine it "I present you your new king of Ferelden, this baby that used to an archdemon and stuff but hey he'll be nice"--Dave The Maniac (talk) 15:49, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Advice

Hey guys, is it good to take risks? If you're in a situation where if you don't take one, you'll be successful, but if you take this risk, you may either become more successful and happy, or it could be your doom. Would you take the risk?

This quote inspires me “A ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for.” ― Albert Einstein

Yet, one can be afraid to take risks. Thanks. 18:53, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

I shall quote Flemeth "It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly" (I love that quote). I always thought that you must take the leap thinking if the end result is worth it, if you never take it you'll regret it. I did some pretty bad shit before my GF (One day I'll tell ya in private), but I've never regretted anything 'cus that's what made me the man I am today and I am happy with the end result and am hopeful that everything will be OK.--Dave The Maniac (talk) 18:59, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

That's really thoughtful of you Dave, and heartwarming. Thanks very much. It's awe inspiring.  19:01, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Glad I could be of some help bro --Dave The Maniac (talk) 19:06, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Unless someone comes from the future to stop you.... is it really such a bad idea? lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 21:03, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm with SMK here. I'm waiting for a chance to take a risk which could improve my lot in life. But just out of curiosity here, is a 50/50 chance of increase, or different? Or can't you say? ACdeakial (talk) 21:07, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

I wanted to have the perfect chance to go live in Mexico City, in the end I grabbed a backpack with all my essentials, $5000 mexican pesos and hoped for a good job which I found in the end. Like I said risks are always there you just need to grab your balls and say OK fuck this and jump.--Dave The Maniac (talk) 22:20, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

I wish I could do something like that. But I've just graduated, so, you know (at least for the UK) debts n stuff. Can't really take any risks except with my health and my love life atm...ACdeakial (talk) 22:32, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

What you guys have said has influenced me considerably. It's just that there are certain things in life that I know I'll regret either way, and thus I hope I can somehow go for the right option. 22:10, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

There is no right option in real life just decisions taken, in the end you need to be able to say I regret nothing (this is how I live my life)--Dave The Maniac (talk) 22:20, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Lazare, I'm not an old man, but I've made so many mistakes in the short time I've been alive and it's made me feel a lot older, but you know what they say about age? It makes you wiser. If I had the chance to go back and fix any of my mistakes I wouldn't because they made me who I am. I'm a brash, foolish, lazy, kind hearted storyteller and I love that. What I'm saying is do what makes you happiest and never regret a single decision you make. Everything will work out and eventually you'll find where you need to be, even if it's not where you wanted to be in the first place. Take the leap of faith, because you'll learn who you really are when the fires come to take everything you hold dear. This is your life and only you can live it, so do what you think is best and don't let anyone tell you differently. But what do I know, I'm just a sixteen year old storyteller, who's stuck in his head too much. Take my advice as you will. B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:36, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

That was amazing advice. You guys are so cool. Thank you very much. It has helped me a lot. 23:19, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

I live to make others happy and teach them something new. I do that by telling stories and my life is a really really really shitty story, so I try to learn from it and help others by telling them how I've learned from it. Just trying to help you out, mate. :) B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:25, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

Let's Play a Game

Rules,: I will write one line and after I'm done someone will keep the story going until we get bored.

In a far away land there was a land called Gwaren, here lived a farmer who dreamed of one day being a knight, his ability with the sword was unmatched but the lack of noble blood stopped him from getting further than a squire. In his dreams he hoped to become as famous as The Champion of Kirkwall or The Hero of Ferelden but nothing ever happened in his small town, he doubted it even appeared in the maps.--Dave The Maniac (talk) 21:00, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

One day this man, was at work in his field, when heard screams and shrieks coming from the town. At last he thought, A chance to prove my worth. ACdeakial (talk) 21:03, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

He ran to the town where a Qunari invasion had begun. The horned giants slaughtered anyone who resisted and dragged others off to be converted to their faith, the Qun. --Xsari ^(Talk) 22:52, September 9, 2014 (GMT)

As such, the aspiring knight came across several Qunari. Thankfully, a sword laid barren across the path, in which he lifted it and slashed the brazen cheek of a Qunari and slit the throat of another. 22:10, September 9, 2014 (UTC)

He then came across a Qunari Mage who unleashed a powerful fire spell at the Knight. The Knight dodged but then he heard....Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 02:08, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Blog Comments

Shame about what's happening in the blogs recently. 00:07, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

On that note I wanna talk about Cousy real quick. I fucking love him! He is so cool. Though I feel that he blocked the comments in the blog with a heavy heart. To me, it feels like he really wanted us to be civil and happy. Poor guy never gets to take a break. I wish he'd come in this forum and hang out with us. He deserves to be loved by the users. He does a lot for us. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:15, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

He's pretty amazing. We should ask him to check it out soon! 00:16, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I think the Admins just leave us to our own, so they don't have to tell us anything. Except Kelcat, she came in once. Didn't stay for long though, quite a pity. I'd like if the admins came in here and reveled with us. It'd be nice to see that side of them. They always seem so business like. Except Cousy. He seems like someone you'd want to have a drink with and talk about boobs, games, and food. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:19, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Loleil can be pretty cool too at times. She's the one who let this go ahead too initially! 00:23, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

At times?! Loleil (-100). Loleil ^Talk 02:35, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Always Loleil, Always, do not let this clown make you sad, I'll kill him (Takes out the Sword of Thousand Dildos) Defend yourself you clown!!!!!-- 02:45, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

DAMNIT DAVE!! WE HAVE GUESTS! Use a regular sword, they're hanging all along the walls! Fucking hell man. And if you ARE going to use it at least turn on the strobe lights. B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:51, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Awww ok :( I'll use a punny, not interesting sword (Takes out a +20 Vaporal, Improved Critical, Fire Greatsword) ok now DIE YOU CLOWN!!!... and you to B.S.S.T. for not letting me use my main sword!! (Does a crazy laugh)-- 02:57, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Dave you can't kill me because if you do then no one will know the story of how you rode into battle on a Whorse with a mighty Sword of a Thousand Dildos and slew the evil Jester Prince Lazare. Do you really want that Dave? Do you want the story to never be told? B.S.S.T. (talk) 03:02, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Gawd damn it... ok ok ok... you better be a damned good bard or else!!!-- 03:39, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Nah bards kill you or betray you. I'm a storyteller and completely loyal. I'll include how you retrieved the sword from a Dragon's belly and throw in a couple of Gryphons and Werewolves for balance. I'll also make you sound 19x handsomer than you are in real life, even though that's gonna be really hard considering you're a hunk already. B.S.S.T. (talk) 03:52, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Dave kill me? Pfft haaah. He'll bend to my will, or else he will suffer a painful and slow death. A very slow...slow death. Oh, Loleil, damn. You're cool all the time. Damn it, talk about setting a bad impression. Damn you Laz. 09:36, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Wow the legendary Sword of a Thousand Dildos, tell me Dave did you also find the Shield of a Thousand Boobs? Last I heard it was hidden in the ass of a mighty Qunari Brood Mother somewhere in the Deep Roads. Xsari (talk) 11:28, September 10, 2014 (GMT)

I did and trust me it was not a nice experience.... FOR HER cus I had a blast!!-- 11:39, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

And have you seen this page: http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Help:How-To_Create_A_Custom_Signature Tierrie made that. I thought he was the most business like admin, but even he likes to crack a few jokes. We have some really fun admins. It's a pity they don't join in our fun. I'd like to think they'd like it. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:33, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I too feel, bad about the blog comments. I saw KC's original comment asking for civility, and I didn't want to cause any trouble. Unfortunately, I may have gotten a little heated in the debate. But yeah, it's a real shame that people can't seem to have a good debate recently without it spiraling out of control. KC definitely deserves a bit of revelry for being swift and so good to the members. ACdeakial (talk) 00:29, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I personally generally try to stay out of it when things get out of hand on the blogs, it's such a shame it happens really. Xsari (talk) 11:40, September 7, 2014 (GMT)

Sigs tangent begins here...

KC did what he had to do, it sucks but he had to do it. We all agree that teh user in question is an asshole. PS. Check the new sig!!!!.-- 00:50, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

You know ever since Rshep got one of those I've been thinking about getting one myself. What do you guys think? Should I or shouldn't I? I mean not a lot of people have them, but the few who do have them have really badass ones. B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:16, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I plagiarized mine from Loleil (sorry Glorious Admin/whatever title befits you) so I'm only good with simple colors and font families, but I'll design one for you as an early birthday present, how about that? A man with a new title needs a badge of office ceremonial sword to go with it. RShepard227 (talk) 05:17, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Really? You do that for me? Gotta admit I'm quite touched actually. I'd like that, I really would. Keep in mind that if I ever made myself a sig I'd have made it a light beigey color. B.S.S.T. (talk) 12:41, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

That's what I was thinking too, somewhere in the tone of Varric's Tailored Leather Duster, or Varric's glorious chest mane. But light beige is too close to the current font color, I designed my signature so I could pick it out of the lineup on the forums. I'll design yours on DA Answers when I get the chance, since I have admin privileges and can delete things if I screw up. When there's something you like, make the SigInclude and Sig pages for yourself on this wiki. RShepard227 (talk) 21:23, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Here's a link to the colour codes KC sent me if you want RShep http://www.w3schools.com/html/html_colornames.asp --Xsari ^(Talk) 22:30, September 10, 2014 (GMT)

Thanks. That's not the site I used (I just Googled HTML color codes), but I do recognize it from when I color-coded the DA2 quests. I'll head to my workshop and artifice something. RShepard227 (talk) 03:36, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Uh just throwing this out there. My favorite font is Segoe Script. It's really awesome looking. B.S.S.T. (talk) 03:41, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I can't add font-family:Segoe Script for some reason, not sure if anyone can help me. Either way, here's my first work: B.S.S.T. (talk) I, um, "borrowed" Papyrus from Xsari. Xsorry about that. ;) (Great job BTW.) RShepard227 (talk) 04:59, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Ooh I like that. It's very pretty. A trifle bit big, but pretty. Hey do you think we could add a picture? I've had my eye on that book on the Guides Portal on the homepage of the wiki for sometime now, but I can't seem to find the picture anywhere on the wiki. You wouldn't have to do that I could figure out the coding, but it's the picture I want to find. Wonder where it could be. B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:38, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

BSST, you should check out the images for The Far Cliffs of Kirkwall, Of Things Not Lost, and Lothering's Lament. Those are all really nice images of ye olde tomes. --Death by Cheese (talk) 06:09, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Ooh those are nice! I like Lothering's Lament the best. Thanks Banon (it's cheese I swear)! B.S.S.T. (talk) 12:24, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

No problem RShep. Yeah loads of font types don't work for some reason, took me ages to find one that did that wasn't just Ariel. Would have had Vivaldi myself otherwise. --Xsari ^(Talk) 11:28, September 11, 2014 (GMT)

not quite sure whats going on but consider it as teachers and students enlisted and officers if they show favoritisim it might put them in a compromising position if they have to tell us were being naughty or have to kick us and I aim to misbehave Star Metal Knight (talk) 01:08, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Alas, I have no opinion on boobs, though I quite like food and games. I'm not the most social person even in real life, which is why I don't comment on forums a lot, nor do I really monitor them. I try to be a bit formal on the wiki since I want to set a good example, and I get my fun from editing articles since I'm a bit of a nerd. Plus you guys write too fast to keep up with! --♫ Kelcat ^Talk 01:52, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

That's why you stay for the party, lass. Not even I've read all these comments, but I have read entire sections. Some of them are really good. You should look at "Advice" and "Ask SMK" for heart warming things and the numerous Friend Fictions for some fun stuff. Come on, take a seat. I'll fix you up a Pina Colada or a Long Island Ice tea if you've had a rough day. I'm pretty sure Dave makes a mean Margarita. And Party Master Laz probably knows how to make some weird esoteric London Beverage. :) B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:09, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I know, sometimes I got to stop and rewrite what I wrote 'cus some dumb ass submitted then... I'M LOOKING AT YOU BSST-- 02:39, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

HEY Supes submitted before me! I just copied my comment and rolled with it. :P Get on my level Dave. B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:44, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Guess some people just can't control themselves or are to argue. Also, how the heck do you guys have fancy sigs like that? Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 02:07, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Check the link I posted Supes. It's Tierrie's guide to making a signiture on the wiki. B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:09, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I killed a few elfs, made blood magic with 'em and tryed to get on Loleil good side.-- 02:39, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Going to try to make a purple sig, I love purple!!! Xsari (talk) 11:40, September 10, 2014 (GMT)

...and returns to being about the blog comments around here... eh, good enough

You go to sleep for a few hours and you realise that admins have posted on a banter forum. Year is made. 09:36, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Is it weird that I go to bed when you got to bed even though we're 8 hours apart? B.S.S.T. (talk) 12:41, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Now we just need Marge and KC to post here... imagine KC posting banter... THE WORLD WOULD END!!!!-- 13:27, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Marge would totally come in here and party with us. She's cool like that. I don't know about Cousy though. Poor sod always seems busy. I could just imagine what he'd do if he came in here though.

KC:I will ban you all!!

Whole forum squeals in fright.

KC: Unless you down the champagne with me!! :D

Whole Forum: OH!! KC!! KC!! KC!!

Man, can dream can't he?B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:57, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

yeah... I'm quite shocked right now... also, B.S.S.T I make a mean pornstar martini... the sort that chains you up and spanks you... ACdeakial (talk) 11:06, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Can I have two please!!!-- 14:02, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

So I was rolling around on deviantART and was seeing what my personal hero was up to. Checked his recently favorited art and found this: http://unlevelednate.deviantart.com/art/Be-Good-To-Each-Other-479292264

I think it's really fitting considering the blogs. Just my two cents though. B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:07, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Signature Problems

Hi everyone been struggling to make my signature a bit. I followed the very helpful link B.S.S.T. posted but I'm having trouble changing the font and colour. I looked at Kelcat's and Loleil's signatures and for now have based mine off theirs but don't to want to directly copy them. What different font types are available on the wiki and what are the different colour codes? I can't find them and I was looking for a lighter shade of purple so my sig can be seen more clearly. Sorry, I'm terrible with technical stuff. Thanks --Xsari ^(Talk) 13:12, September 10, 2014 (GMT)

I too am struggling with making a sig... {{SUBST:User:ACdeakial/SigInclude}} 12:25, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

So am I and I make a living out of it :P seriously... mine is an image and if you see the code it's easy...I created the image using an old web app (I used it when I was 12 dear lord!!!) called FlamingText.com-- 13:29, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I think I've got the hang of it now anyway. Doing what Laz did and making an image, then linking it. ACdeakial (talk) 13:38, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Great now get hooked up with it :P-- 13:48, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Let's see if it's worked... (talk) 14:21, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Well now I just feel inadequate. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:26, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Soon... You will join the darkside. (talk) 14:27, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I've also sorted mine out, the awesome KC and Kelcat helped me out! Great new sig AC, love it! --Xsari ^(Talk) 16:05, September 10, 2014 (GMT)

Thanks Xsari. Yours is awesome too. 15:13, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

and mine??? I feel left out T_T-- 15:43, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

no one ever pays me in gum ( feeling left out )Star Metal Knight (talk) 16:30, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

@ B.S.S.T. - Nothing beats the classic! I personally find some of these new sigs to be OTT, and, if I were to be hypercritical, tacky. ;) Alexsau1991 ^{(talk page)} 21:56, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

@ Alexsau1991 - Who's do you find tacky? --Xsari ^(Talk) 00:17, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

Congrats Xsari

Hey Xsari, you got engaged... congrats... hope it all goes well, may Cthulhu bless your marriage :P-- 15:40, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

What huh? Oh the pics on my page. No they are SMK's, he wanted to show me his wife's engagement ring. I've only recently moved in with my boyfriend so don't think that will happen for a while yet. My big sis needs to get married first! Thanks though, that was sweet of you to make a page anyway. Oh and sorry forgot to comment on your new sig, it's great! --Xsari ^(Talk) 18:08, September 10, 2014 (GMT)

lol, either way may Cthulhu bless your getting together with your BF... remember first come the fights and then the happy season :P-- 17:24, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

The Golden Age of Laz has now begun 19:17, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Oooohhh nice new sig Laz. --Xsari ^(Talk) 21:02, September 10, 2014 (GMT)

(in a little kids tone)Mine is still cooler :P -- 21:43, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

(In patrick stewarts voice) Nothing beats a wee bit of caligraphy... 21:47, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

(In barbarian voice)Nothing beats an axe, now get yo ass over her you puny human-- 22:02, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

(begins coughing) YEAH! Well nothing beats Oghrens underwear. Run Morrigan! RUN! 22:04, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Yup... I'm just here. With my plain old signature. I don't feel inadequate or small at all. B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:51, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Im here with you bro the struggle is real! congratz XsariStar Metal Knight (talk) 01:29, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Old Friends and Nicknames, An Off Topic Tangent.

I'm sure RShep will make one for you soon. Or you could make one yourself if you want :) Btw the code for Beige is #F5F5DC if you're interested. --Xsari ^(Talk) 00:30, September 11, 2014 (GMT)

I'll wait for the Commander. He's a really smart guy and I trust him more than anyone else on the Wiki. I don't think I ever actually clarified why I like Rshep so much. If you guys don't mind I'd gladly share with you. See me and him we go back a couple years. When I was a lurker on this wiki I was a very active contributor on the answers wiki. Even wanted to be an Admin there at one point. Shep and I were the only two serious contributors who cleaned up the wiki and answered questions seriously. Well more so him. I just handled the troll questions and messed with the wise ass anons. It was a good time. Eventually I left the wiki and didn't go back until recently. Been away for well over a year. I went back there and made sure Rshep became Admin, but he'd rather have the title Warden Commander. Meanwhile I'm starting to take an active role again and answering stupid questions in colorful ways. Shep even gave me the title of Ban of Bullshit. Fitting considering my name. This is my latest question answered: http://dragonage.answers.wikia.com/wiki/And_waht_is_it What I mean by all this is I trust Rshep because he's not my friend he's my brother. Dude and I shared a lot of good times on that wiki and he's one of the most awesome people I know. He's a good man with a great sense of humor. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:47, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

I'm actually curious now and sure you've been asked this a thousand times but what does the B.S.S.T. actually stand for? I'm guessing the first two letters are Bull & Shit. --Xsari ^(Talk) 00:58, September 11, 2014 (GMT)

Believe it or not, you're the first person to ask me that. In the two years I've had this account no one's ever asked what my name means. When I was a contributor on the Answers Wiki I didn't have an account, but eventually I made one there. I wanted it to have the words Storyteller in it, but found all the names relating to it were, sadly, taken. Then a thought came to me "What do I do on the answers wiki? Tell bull shit stories." Wikia didn't allow me to use cuss words, so I found a loop hole. Abbreviations are a such a blessing. I suppose you've guess by now that my name is Bull Shit Story Teller or B.S.S.T. for short. Ever since I first made it I always thought it looked like a ship name. Considering I love ships, that was a delightful side effect. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:16, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I thought it was short But Somehow Still Typing or something like that... found it on Urban Dictionary... so it exists-- 01:35, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Because urban dictionary's such a reliable source. XD B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:43, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Lol that's an awesome name, you really are a human Varric aren't you? --Xsari ^(Talk) 11:35, September 11, 2014 (GMT)

When I was younger I didn't know what exactly I wanted to be when I was older, just that I wanted to tell stories. Varric made me realize that I wanted to be a Storyteller and is the reason I call myself as such. I actively try to be like him. It works out pretty well most the time. B.S.S.T. (talk) 12:28, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

If your Varric.....who does that make me and Xsari ? lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 16:25, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Alistair and Leliana from DA:O. B.S.S.T. (talk) 16:47, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Cool, I'll dye my hair ginger and start using a French accent then! Ez ziz okaey? --Xsari ^(Talk) 22:38, September 11, 2014 (GMT)

It's perfect, Violet. Now all you need is the dye. Would you like Urn of Sacred Ashes Red or Lothering Orange?B.S.S.T. (talk) 21:41, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Can I go with her Inquisition hair colour? --Xsari ^(Talk) 00:20, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

Oh you want Skyhold Sun! Yes I have that right here. It'll go marvelously with your eyes. Unless a bug bites you and turns your eyes brown. Then it looks odd. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:33, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

oh yeah ! pics or I dont believe you and what Alistair am I? should I be King Warden or drunkard?? lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 23:28, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

You'll be the Warden. In that scenario you don't die young from assassin's and you're not a shame on the family. Plus you get to go adventuring around and have good times.B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:33, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Ah 'ere ziz zee ahronge sig! Xsari ^(Talk) 00:50, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

I likeded de le Purple maybe Italic or or a cursive Star Metal Knight (talk) 00:11, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

But I Leliana haz zee ahronge 'air! Noh purple. Xsari ^(Talk) 1:28, September 12, 2014 (GMT) (keeping my purple sig just using the orange one for this)

Warden-Commander approves (+20) That also goes for the nicknames, good work Varric. RShepard227 (talk) 23:56, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Is 20 all I'm getting out of you? Damn. I have to max out your approval that way we get +12 to Snarkiness and we'll need that for Multiplayer In DA:I and trolls on the Answers Wiki. I live to please, Commander. The stories I tell of you always make you out to be some 12 foot tall God, who shoots lightning out of his eyes. Which you are of course. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:01, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

No, just 5'8" with lightning coming out of my eyes. Aims better. At the current rate of colons everything is gonna get smushed (I made my text disappear completely by adding too many). Think we should slide it back to the left a bit? RShepard227 (talk) 00:03, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

We're the same height? How odd. (Fixed it. Hope to God this works and I don't have to redo it. Aaaaaaaaaaand it worked. Go me. HUZZAH! I sound way too much like Sejic right now XD ) B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:17, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

New fanfic tangent within a tangent

Looks like we are gonna have to go on our own adventure now Alistair , Varric, Lil any one else OH SHIT! B.S.S.T. my Bssty YOU HAVE A NEW FAN FIC TO WRITE muhahahah so much for you to stay out of em hahahStar Metal Knight (talk) 00:09, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

You're not forgetting the Warden Commander are you? He's the most badass of us all. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:20, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

Oooooohhh zat zounds foon! *giggles* Xsari ^(Talk) 01:23, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

Give me a title and I'd gladly tell this tale. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:26, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

you andmebroStar Metal Knight (talk) 00:31, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

the title for this Novel will be Dragon Age : Loyalty full of romance action sadness and how far friends will honor and protect each other till the endStar Metal Knight (talk) 00:35, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

That picture... so. Totally. Fitting! Do you have a plot in mind or do I gotta make that up myself? B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:07, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

do you want to base it off these characters or us ill hink on it hae my people call ur peopleStar Metal Knight (talk) 01:31, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

I'd have it be about us. No fun in telling stories that have been told before. I prefer new tales with new protagonists. B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:39, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

ok ill be a arcane warrior force mage using starfang 1 handed minor healing human ( and u all choose yours ) my child is kidnapped by a blood mage for a spell to release a really bad creature you the commander and Xsari will help me rescue her ...hopefully Star Metal Knight (talk) 22:08, September 13, 2014 (UTC)

Sounds cool, I'll be the Dalish archer huntress from B.S.S.T.'s story of me with my faithful Halla Amelia. I'll help SMK rescue his daughter. Can you describe me as having a blonde wavy bob, pale skin, green eyes and green vallaslin like design 6 on the blood writing page please? --Xsari ^(Talk) 23:32, September 13, 2014 (GMT)

You know at first I wasn't feeling this story, but now I think I'm going to enjoy this. Gonna throw in Rshep make him a proud Grey Warden-Commander from Ansburg, unless he has other ideas. Now who to make the antagonist. A mage from Tevinter? Nah, too stereotypical. AH! I got it. An Orlesian noble woman. Yeah that has some promise to it. Might throw in some werewolves and gryphons for balance. Now as for the setting I'm thinking the Free Marches, hmm perhaps a Chateau in the Vimmark Mountains specifically. Yeah, that sounds good. This is shaping up to be some fun. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:09, September 13, 2014 (UTC)

I prefer to be Fereldan, just so I sound normal, even if I have to be stationed in that backwater called Ansburg. -_- Dual-sword wielding warrior please, Templar specialization, can shoot a bow when necessary. What Age does the story take place? That determines if I'm Spirit Warrior as well, since it's hard to justify that knowledge being around before 9:31. You'll also need darkspawn involvement/setting in the Free Marches to justify me being part of the merry band. RShepard227 (talk) 01:18, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Personally I'd rather have you been in Markham or Ostwick, but Carver said there was a base in Ansburg and since we don't know if there are more bases in the Free Marches shrugs oh well. On second thought how about you and I are a pair of bounty hunters called on to help the man who lost his child and wife to a blood mage from Orlais? I'd love to play the Inigo Montoya and Fezzik card. That sound good to you? Also you're born and raised in Highever. Or Denerim. Or Gwaren. Take your pick. And your 6'5. Also you'll have a big burly beard and stone cold eyes. Yeah let's make you as badass as I can get away with. B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:50, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Coincidentally, I looked up Ansburg and it was described as a backwater, had no idea when I wrote that. :P Real quick, SMK's character can't have the Starfang without becoming a Mary Sue (more important to the fanficked world than the actual characters), but he can have a starmetal sword all the same, I'm sure the Origins meteor isn't the first to hit Thedas or be turned into a weapon. As for me, I'm always born in Highever, that's non-negotiable, and if I'm warrior I use dual swords. For appearance, don't make me tall, just 5'8", and no beard, just a strong jawline (okay, some 5:00 shadow but no thicker ;)). Don't fret about height and beards as the be-all measures of badassness. A real badass doesn't wear it on his sleeve, he dives into the fray and cleans up where no one else can. Stone cold blue eyes suits me, that's what I have in real life. Now, I can still be a Warden-Commander, if the terrible creature being released is a sentient darkspawn, once it comes to my attention that the wife of SMK's character's daughter is descended from the mage that sealed it. Like Corypheus, but not as powerful, certainly not enough for bodyjacking, we don't want a rehash of Legacy, but maybe able to organize a band of 100 or so darkspawn or so into a lethal platoon. But it's your story, if you want to go with bounty hunters, I'll take the same customization, and you'll be a Duelist Assassin with dual-daggers. (And if I'm being pushy, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a lore-Nazi or hijack the project, but I do want this to be good. The death of many fanfics is too much personal promotion and disregard for the actual universe, and I can't look back on the stuff I wrote when I was a teenager without cringing my eyebrows off. I don't want this be something I shake my head at in another ten years.) RShepard227 (talk) 03:02, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

OK want to get a few things settled real quick.

• You know what my name is? It is R Fucking Lore. I live, breathe, and eat Lore. I respect and honor Lore. I AM NOT disney. I don't pull shit out of my ass and say "inspired by the snow queen". I work with the Lore. Otherwise I'm a shame to storytellers every where and deserve to be reprimanded. So believe me when I say I am super fucking happy you're working in the Lore.

• This is me and you right now: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Commission-Friend-Fiction-261275365

• I love what you named the tangent. XD It's hilarious and a trifle bit metaphysical.

OK now that the understanding is out of the way. Let's get down to business. Now Darkspawn won't work because it's too grandiose. It's gotta be self contained and can't contradict what's happening in the games. Darkspawn are too much game territory. Let's also dial the timeline to about 9:20 Dragon and say Star got his Meteor sword from a merchant, whose life he had saved. Now Xsari is going to be a Sacagawea type character, albeit without a baby. Story will be set in the Free Marches, a forest area and I will have to do research on that, and Star will hire us as mercenaries. I'd like to make you tall just because I want to have a Fezzik and Inigo Montoya relationship, but I can scrap that. Now what I was thinking for my guy would be dual wielding swords and crossbows (not repeating crossbows that's Varric's thing and makes me too overpowered the swords are for when I run out of bolts). Now making you a dual wielding warrior will work out well because we could say you taught me everything you know. Could work out a little brother older brother type of relationship. Want a specific name you want to be called? Now that's just the baseline there's more fine things we have to tune. B.S.S.T. (talk) 03:29, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Good, I won't have to be a lore Nazi. Dismissing the darkspawn idea gave me a good measure of your commitment (although I have no doubt you could make it work). Unfortunately I'm not nearly as buxom as Isabela, so the picture is not representative. :( Now, I believe I can be called Colin, of Harper's Ford. Son of a fisherman, I was given a rare opportunity to squire for Fergus Cousland (if it's 9:20), where I learned martial training and spent time as a scout (skills in Survival, Poison-Making, Trap-Making) before becoming a bounty hunter. I met you sometime in the following years, an orphan about 4 years younger with a knack for Persuasion and Stealing. You were too wiry to wield two longswords at once, so you use daggers instead, but you picked up my talents in relatively short order (Whirlwind isn't as useful because of your weapons' shorter reach). We can still be Fezzik and Inigo, but not in appearance. I don't remember, was Fezzik Inigo's mentor or the other way around? RShepard227 (talk) 03:48, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Creating a darkspawn plot would make this a much larger Serial than I'd like. I want this to be short, sweet, and to the point. Inigo and Fezzik were like Sten and the Warden, if you're on good terms with him and he calls you Kadan. You don't need Isabela's breast you have her witty witty tongue, which is just as good. Now as for our characters I like your ideas and I'll do my best to use them, but not every idea makes it into the story. I'd also like to point out my characters obsession with cards and gambling. Now you're my senior by nine years, but I'm conflicted to add that. It's a steep number of years, but really adds to the relationship. I like the bit about Fergus Cousland, that was a great addition. Though I don't know anything about Harper's Ford is a district in Highever or the surrounding areas? Lastly as long as I get a sword and dagger in the final version I'll be happy. Now as for personality we'll both be humorists, but I think you'll fit the bill for a more serious, wry, and sarcastic funny guy than I. My humor will be more snarky comebacks and witty one liners. Anything else you can think of? If Xsari or Star wants to add anything nows the time. Also if you could pick a name, that'd help me a lot because I don't want to be using your Wiki names. Feels out of place. B.S.S.T. (talk) 03:59, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Harper's Ford is a port settlement within Highever's terynir. Naturally, I assume fishing and trade are a big part of it, and important enough that the Couslands worried about it during the occupation. Speaking of which, nine years is a little much, I planned on him being 20-21 (assuming Fergus was born after the Battle of River Dane would make him slightly older in 9:20), which would make you 12. 16-18 would be the bare minimum to make your guy a capable fighter, but I met you when you were 12. If you want that age difference, you could have this take place in 9:25 or so. Okay, with that, I'll let Alistair and Leliana make their additions. RShepard227 (talk) 04:36, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Hmm, yeah you're idea's better. I'd make your man 22 and mine 18, a four year difference should be fine. Your thoughts? B.S.S.T. (talk) 04:53, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

The Templars are after me because they think I killed my wife and child but in fact the Orleasian woman killed my wife and stole my child we all use to fight together and I left to be a family man but after all this happend ive been on the run and planning vengence and hopfully get my daughter back I turn to you the last of my friends that are alive to help me right now im a broken man i dont know what shes doing to my daughter not sure if shes even alive im on a suicide mission as long as I know that bitch is dead and you remember how happy and funny i was ... im just a former shell whatcha think?Star Metal Knight (talk) 04:45, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

please my friends. I need your helpStar Metal Knight (talk) 04:46, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Hmm, I can work with it. Crime Dramas aren't usually my thing, but I can play with some ideas and put in some over time. Though I'd prefer if you're wife and kid were alive and we were rescuing them, but you're the protagonist, so you're word is law. B.S.S.T. (talk) 04:53, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Wow, it's getting hard to keep track of the threads in here! Anyway, I've dabbled in fanfic, if anyone wants me to write something. I know BSST claimed this one; I'm just throwing myself into the writing ring. ;) You can find a couple of (sadly unfinished) Dragon Age tales here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9052271/1/Birth-of-a-Templar and here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10241804/1/The-Fugitive-and-the-Pariah --Death by Cheese (talk) 05:01, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I might actually read those, but not right now. Too tired. Been up since like 5 am. Need sleep. I'm not nocturnal like you, mozzarella. :P B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:15, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Staying up into the wee hours is what the weekend is for! :P Nah, not really. I wish I could break the habit. And no pressure on the fanfics or anything. Just a casual mention. --Death by Cheese (talk) 05:27, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I knock out at eight pm, wake up at five am and spend my day waiting on Dragon Age News. I've a boring life. I'll peruse them sometime. Just skimmed the second one, which you were writing for two years UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH, and it looked interesting. I'll tell you what I think of them when I get to it. B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:33, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

its ok I was just throwing ideas ur way your pen your lawsStar Metal Knight (talk) 05:04, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

My Name will be RoyceStar Metal Knight (talk) 05:12, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I'm making you the protagonist. Xsari is our feisty hot headed guide through the forest and shep and I are hired muscle on top of being Statler and Waldorf. I'll figure something out, but your real wife is your wife in the story and like hell if she's gonna be dead when we find her. This story will end with a big damn kiss (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBigDamnKiss) even if I have to bring in some mother fucking Gryphons and werewolves. I swear it!B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:10, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

sounds great do you need anything else from meh????Star Metal Knight (talk) 05:15, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Nah you're fine. Unless you want a specific way to look in the story then tell me, so I may accomplish that. Otherwise just chillax and let old man Lore do his magic. B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:18, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

young bald handsome white guy love blue and black rest is yours ;)Star Metal Knight (talk) 05:23, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

And here I wanted to give you long flowing blonde hair and riding a lustrous white steed. Oh well. I'll make you bald, ripped, and riding a Dragon. That'll make things interesting. B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:27, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

"...bald, ripped, and riding a Dragon." Someone with better photoshop skills than I needs to make this happen. --Death by Cheese (talk) 05:33, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I have photoshop, but I much prefer Sketchbook Pro. It's a lot more user friendly. Sketchbook Pro 7 actually has the power to give Photoshop a run for it's money, especially considering it's only 65 dollars for the core version and if you pay 24 dollars a year you get the premium version, which is... godly awesome. I still have a long way to go till I can pull off feats in Sketchbook Pro 7 like this guy: http://nebezial.deviantart.com/art/i-dunno-evilcorp-393168999 B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:42, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

dont forget my star metal SWORDStar Metal Knight (talk) 05:38, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I would never. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:50, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Woah so much has happened! Curse the time difference! I like the idea of my character being a Sacagawea-like guide who's kinda feisty and hot headed. Just go with what you think is best really. Only thing I can think of is for my character to have been exiled from her clan for some reason you can think of and to be an awesome archer with a cool bow. Maybe some nice daggers for close combat but mostly bow. Is she a mercenary as well or not? Think I'll go with the name Vreia, that was the name I gave my Dalish warden. Character description would be the one I gave before with some cool hooded leather armour. Sometimes she wears the hood up and other times she doesn't. If possible can I have my Halla Amelia with me as well? --Xsari ^(Talk) 13:32, September 14, 2014 (GMT)

Let's the roll a more noble set of dice, aye? Your Keeper sends you with us, out of pity, and you are none too happy about it, which is why you're feisty and hot headed. You'll be one of the top hunters in your clan. And of course you can have your Halla. It'd be strange not to have it. I think that's it. Everything else is pretty much good. I'll take your suggestions and work 'em in, same as Rshep. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:50, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

This line feels fitting.

A good story, you don't really write. It was always there. You just uncover it. ~Varric Tethras. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:50, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Agreed, that sounds even better! Thanks Varric ;) --Xsari ^(Talk) 15:12, September 14, 2014 (GMT)

Lord Cousland's Friend Fiction: Part 2

Well guys here is the much anticipated part2 of my friendfic staring Xsari as Scaea the dwarf. Keep in mind that this one does not have much in the way of action, because parts 1 and 2 are men't to set everything up. Part 3 is when thing begian to get realy interesting. I will try to format this post better than the last. Tell me what you all think. Enjoy!

Scaea looked in the direction that the noise came from. She could barely make out a conversation between a young hooded woman and two large men. She noticed that the men were sellswords. The woman was frantically trying to get the men to do something. Curious Scaea decided to listen in.

"Look lady we are not going to help you get to Denerim" said one of the men.

"This is five hundred gold" the woman pleaded. "It's yours if you take me there."

"How many times do we have to tell you we don't want your gold!" the second man shouted.

"Look my husband has a home in Denerim. If you were to take me to him he would reward you very nicely. Whatever you want just name your price."

"I'm sorry lady, but no amount of gold is worth the risk of traveling with an apostate. This conversation is over!" the first man said coldly.

The men left and walked to a new table. The woman sunk lower in her seat, it was apparent that she was in low spirits. Scaea looked back at the handsome dwarf man she had seen earlier. He was now leaving the inn.

"Well there goes that opportunity" Scaea said with a sigh.

As she thought she realised the evening may not be a total lose. The woman was a mage and she could use a mage to help her acquire the artefacts she was seeking from the excavation site. Scaea remembered what the woman had said about having a husband that would pay well. The dwarf could make money from the artefacts and then get paid again. If she played her cards right she would be swimming in gold by next week and Scaea did love gold! All of this of course depended on if the woman was willing to make a deal or not. Luckily for Scaea the woman looked very willing.

"This could be very promising indeed" said Scaea with a smile.

Scaea walked over to the woman and sat at the table. The woman sat up. The hood on her head fell back, revealing a pretty face and long curly black hair. The woman looked at Scaea with brown eyes full of confusion. She was about to say something when Scaea cut her off.

"Hi I'm Scaea. Yes I'm a dwarf. Let's make a deal."

"You know I'm a mage right?" the woman asked in what sounded to Scaea like an Antivian accent.

"Well yeah, your friend over there did not exactly use his inside voice when he said "apostate". Besides it's kind of obvious with what you're wearing. I don't think circle robes are common garb after all."

"Are you offering to help me? I can pay you well."

"You said that your husband will pay?"

"Yes very well. In fact I bet you have never even seen that much gold in your life."

"Some how I doubt that" said Scaea. "Just how much is this "seen that much gold in your life" anyway?"

"Five thousand gold, and that's a promise" the woman said.

"Now that's more like it!" Scaea said with a grin. "Okay Curls here's what we're going to do. You help me retrieve some Tevinter artefacts and get out alive. I help you get back to your sweethart agreed?"

"Agreed, but Curls?"

"Yes that's your name now"

"When do we set out?" asked Curls.

"First thing tomorrow morning, but do me a favour and buy some new clothes. If you go dressed like that we will have every Templar from here to the Dales on our butts." said Scaea with a frown.

"I will and thank you."

"Don't mention it. Now if you don't mind I'm going to get a little sleep and I advise you do the same. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow. I don't want to end up dead because we dozed off and got eaten by a wild nug."

Curls got up and went to her room. Scaea downed the rest of her ale. Tonight was shaping up to be one of the best she'd had in a long time. She got up and rented a room from the inn kepper. The anticipation of the next days activities still danced in her head. (More to come in part 3) (Darion Cousland (talk) 13:40, September 10, 2014 (UTC))

Sorry I took a while to get round to reading it. Enjoyed it a lot! Edited it slightly so it didn't read a bit like a play and thought the eight million gold was a little steep. Changed to five thousand. Overall though brilliant. Can't wait till the final part! --Xsari ^(Talk) 22:12, September 10, 2014 (GMT)

I'm still looking for reference to the amazing Dave The Maniac, the most handsome and noble of all barbarians :P -- 22:32, September 10, 2014 (UTC)

Hey Guys!!

thanks for being amazing just wanted to say hi wish we could all hang out have some meade or Merlot or Mojitos throw a few Nugs on my grill and play some D AGE ...or we could take a drink everytime someone diez in one of the 300 movies tell me about something going on in ur lives ur family after allStar Metal Knight (talk) 02:01, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

You wanna talk happy things or do you wanna hear me whinning about a lot of stuff.

Ps. Kids, moving in with someone is hard and sometimes horrible.-- 02:04, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Whaterver you want Star Metal Knight (talk) 02:08, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

ok so you both just moved in together its easy to be in love and nothing wrong when you live seprately but im sure many of us on here can tell you when you move in together its two different personalities coming together it takes time and tests of the water to get to the balance that will help you both work out together I do fight with my wife alot hell we almost got divorced once... or ten times over dumb shit like me not getting my socks in the hamper ( you laugh you will see) its like forging the perfect sword constant heating and cooling but in the end stronger together time patience tempering if you love her she is worth it you will have no problem Star Metal Knight (talk) 02:20, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks man, that story about the socks happened here not to the point of divorce but the point of "fuck it I'm sleeping in the couch" we are fighting a lot but I do love her, I don't want to leaver her. We just fought because I am overworked to ask because I am asking for a day off on the 15th (the 16th is Mexico's independence day) so she hates that I'm going early getting home late in order to spend a whole day with her family add to that problems at work... I'm done with.

But trully bro thanks for the word of wisdom, I know that stuff but sometime you need to be reminded of it.-- 02:52, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I've never had a girlfriend. Is it as good as people make it out to be? B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:57, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

As long as you don't live together :P -- 03:14, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Hey if I could be a child for a moment, what's sex like? You don't have to answer if you don't want to I'm just a wee bit curious and Google is too... graphic for my likes. B.S.S.T. (talk) 03:18, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

have you had sex??? well married or living together sex is just like the sex you're having.

If you're asking what sex is like, well then you're too young to ask and thn when you're old enough get your ass to your nearest street walker and ask her for the "special" she'll make you night worth while (I still have nightmare with mine :P)

This reminds me, the first time we took a friend to a hooker she was actually a transexual, he came running out screaming... "she's got a stick run run run!!!".-- 03:26, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Never kissed a girl either if you care to know such things. I'm very good at talking out of my ass when it comes to this stuff, because I've studied it. I know the erogenous zones of a female body, but have never actually touched one. Well not in that way. I've hugged girls. Like five times. Yeah... I'm a shitty excuse for a man I know. Don't tell the others. They'll laugh at me. B.S.S.T. (talk) 03:31, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I wish I had a beer to drink while writing this, but its a bit too early for me. Anyway, I graduated from university back in July, after studying a maths degree, and in the two months since I have remained unemployed. Aside from the odd shift behind the bar, I have remained bored out of my skull. I mean really bored. Why couldn't they have released Inquisition to coincide with my unemployment... Oh well, just thought I'd share, since I'm still really bored, played through DA:O and DA2 four times so far. 13:12, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Don't worry B.S.S.T. I have never had a girlfriend either, and I'm pretty sure I'm older than you wich probily makes it that much sader. Every girl that I meet and end up likeing always seems to have a boyfriend already. I'm like seriosly is there any avalible girls out there at all. I have also have never kissed a girl. I have huged girls more than five times though. I really am not looking for a girlfriend right now. Mostly because I'm trying to get my self sqared away first. I want to find the right girl the first time, so I don't have to spend all that time dateing multiple girls and going through all that drama. I want to find a gamer girl, because I'm a gamer and that way she won't have a problem with my gaming, because she will be doing it to. Plus I'm not the best looking guy in the world. I have dark brown hair and eyes. I'm overwieght, wear glasses, and have long sideburns. I am a gamer and geek. So yea not really on most girls "Most charming stud list", but I personaly find myself to be extremly good looking and think any girl would be crazy to refuse this. The thing id in reality I don't think most girls find me that atractive phisicaly, Pesonality is where I realy shine I'm funny, kind, sweet, and smart, but I guse that's not cutting it these days. Well now some random fun facts about me. I live in South Carolina, I have messy brown hair that always seems to have a cowlick, I only ware aviator shades and I come from I large family I'm the oldest of eight children. I'm 19 about to be 20 on October 25th. (Darion Cousland (talk) 14:16, September 12, 2014 (UTC))

B.S.S.T. and Darion you could perhaps try online dating? Thats how I met my current boyfriend and he's the first I've ever really fallen for. You can match things like your personality and interests then talk a bit before you meet up with them. It also makes you feel less nervous when you do meet them because you feel like you already know them. Though you may not find your perfect match straight away, trust me I found a couple of douches who just wanted sex or turned out to be pricks. Just a suggestion. --Xsari ^(Talk) 23:16, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

I think the best way to describe me is a dreamer. I dream of one day finding a beautiful porcelain skinned, burgundy red haired, ocean blue eyed, girl with a heart of gold. If I have to wait for that to come then so be it. The greatest things come when you least expect them. I don't mind not having sex or kissing. I'm falling more and more into an Asexual mind set every day, but that ain't so bad. It's kind of nice actually. Thanks for tip though Xsari. Online dating reminds me of Sunstone a lot. And Darion I'm 16 going on 17 on October 21st. Random facts are fun. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:43, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

You're only 16? Really? I imagined you around 20 myself. Naughty naughty you shouldn't be playing DA then as it's an 18 :p But being serious now you're only still young so you have nothing to really worry about finding someone. I was 16 when I got my first boyfriend... who unfortunately for me turned out to be gay. Oh well I'm happy with someone now and sure you will be too soon :) --Xsari ^(Talk) 15:20, September 14, 2014 (GMT)

Like I said I'm very good at talking out of my ass. I played DA:O for the first time when I was 13 and over the years it has made me the man I am today. This one game has done more for me than my family, school, and almost all my friends. There's more than one reason why I love the Franchise. It also helps that I've a really big vocabulary and talk like a mature adult instead of a horny sex mongering teenager, who thinks he knows everything, but is going to get dick slapped by the world when he leaves high school. I'm also a realist, in case you haven't noticed. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:34, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

HAWKE!!!!!!!!!

Well, no, not Hawke, just little old Cheese here. I see I was invited (thank you!) and thought I might as well introduce myself. I'm an old hag who talks too much, I like Dragon Age (obviously), I'm unemployed and hate it, I'm playing through Golems of Amgarrak, which I've only played through three times before. I don't really like it, so I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of this particular playthrough, but for some reason I just had to reload because my health poultices and lyrium potions disappeared while fighting the harvester. WTF. Anyway, this is my break.

Umm.... I'm not sure what else to say. Potato salad, anyone? --Death by Cheese (talk) 05:13, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

You know when I read Hawke my first thought was Rshep because he calls me Varric and I call him Hawke. Not important. Perhaps it's just me, but I always imagine the contributors of the wiki as beautiful people I could never hold a conversation with in real life. On that note I don't think you're an old hag, Cheese. I always imagined you as a summerly lass with golden blonde hair, sparkling eyes, and winning complexion. Sorry I have a tendency to bathe people in compliments. Glad you're here though! I was hoping we'd get more people. It's boring chatting with Dave all day. No offense to Dave. He's a very nice man. B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:32, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Aw, now if only I fit that description! I do have pretty nice skin, but otherwise I'm a brunette, or perhaps dark blonde. I'm kind of on the cusp. It lightens up a bit more here in California. "Summerly" is a nice adjective. :) I'll have to remember that one. --Death by Cheese (talk) 05:58, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Have I ever told you I live in California? Well not near you, but still in the state. I live in the Inland Empire and was born in Moreno Valley. Don't know if you know where that is considering you're a northerner. It's probably nicer up there. It's practically a desert in South Cali. Funny too considering the stories paint it as heaven on earth. Maybe the beach cities, but certainly not the Inland Empire and Palm Springs. Places are so hot they make your skin fall off. B.S.S.T. (talk) 12:34, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I liked Cali but I'm more of a metropolis type of guy, I like NYC more than Cali. Also, I am insulted BSST and Cheese "How you doooooooooin?" -- 14:55, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I don't like California much, but if I had to stay here I'd move to the north. I prefer the cold. Though I would really prefer living in Manhattan, were the rent for a single bedroom apartment not so high. It's about 2000$ per month... if you're lucky that is, usually rent goes higher. Someday I'd like to live in Ithaca, New York. Rent/Mortgage isn't as high, city has a nice bucolic feel to it, and it's not to far from NYC. B.S.S.T. (talk) 15:10, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

New york... isn't that where james landed the giant peach.... 15:31, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Haha, that made my day, Deakial. I'm dooooooooin fine, Dave! Re:California: I guess it'd be more accurate to say I live in Central CA, but I think most people still refer to the SF Bay Area as "Norcal," so that's what I always tell people. I've only been here a year; before I moved here I was in Austin, TX, and before that I lived around Washington, DC, in Virginia. Before that I was in the Army, mostly serving out of Maryland. Exciting stuff (not). So far my favorite city is San Francisco, but it's stinking expensive. But pretty. Austin is a close second, and in third place is Chicago, minus the godawful politics that are otherwise ruining a cool city. I never liked the DC metro area and I will die happy if I never have to live in that area again. Speaking of moving north, BSST, if I have to move again I'd like to check out the Pacific Northwest: Portland or Seattle. I never, ever want to live on the east coast again... unless it's for a super awesome job, which all seem to be in the south and west these days, anyway. --Death by Cheese (talk) 22:54, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

What's shaking Hawke? -120.149.113.197 (talk) 05:33, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Aveline's head after my latest witticism, Corff. Now get me a mug of that rat-flavoured whiskey. - 05:39, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

You know I didn't think it could get better after the Admins came in. However, it just got really fucking better! B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:45, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Hahahaha, oh my, that just made my night, Anon and HD3. I love Cheers, and I love that there's a Cheers reference in DA2. Two, actually. Anyway, I can just hear Diane trying to convince Hawke to take her along on the expedition, citing her book-learnings in archaeology and how she's read every piece of Dwarven (no, make that "Dwarva") poetry from the Black Age. "I've heard the thaigs are lovely in Spring, Marion. Oh, just think of the lyrium pillars!" --Death by Cheese (talk) 05:58, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Yeah, the Harvester is a real pain to fight. I lost a whole day trying to beat it on nightmare. Finally managed it after no small amount of teeth nashing frustration.

P.S Also now I can't stop trying to think up more "Hawkisms (DA2 Normisms)

- 06:01, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Oh man, I'm now reinventing all of the Hanged Man's inhabitants into Cheers characters!

Re:The Harvester: I don't know what happened. I had poultices and potions out the wazoo and all of a sudden they were set to 0! I think it happened while I was using the switch, so I'll have to watch that next time. I'm trying to beat the DLC on Hard again. I think I'd go nuts playing on Nightmare. I could spec my characters better, but I'm a chaotic person by nature and enjoy just barging in and doing my thang. I kind of wish I was playing a rogue, though. With like a bajillion points in dexterity. I play arcane warriors waaaaaaaaaaaay too often. --Death by Cheese (talk) 06:14, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

WHYYYY ARE EVERYONE'S SIGS ENORMOUS. LIKE WTF 10:07, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I am so disappointed you got rid of the House of Tides/Qunari icon on your sig. -120.149.113.197 (talk) 10:21, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

My sig's not enormous! You hurt it's feelings :( --Xsari ^(Talk) 11:52, September 11, 2014 (GMT)

So sorry. And hey, I loved my previous sig, but Tolkien and LOTR are close to my heart so I thought it was fitting, esp for a series that inspired modern fantasy. He's the father of all fantasy that accedes him! Bow down to your master 11:23, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Mine is still normal-- 11:52, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Ah but the old signature was pertinent to the wiki's subject specifically. I'm just saying it was more directly context appropriate. -120.149.113.197 (talk) 12:06, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I get what you mean, it's just that this one reflects more of who i am as a fantasy fan. 13:35, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I feel weird not having a groovy signature like everyone else... --Death by Cheese (talk) 22:54, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

*Read's Title*. When did it become Star Trek in here? I have the urge to quote the infamous line from Wrath of Khan right now. Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 15:26, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

DO IT 16:55, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I can just imagine the Templars screaming HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWKE!!!! :P-- 17:16, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

(Fixed the format... it was hurting my eyes)

I hope that when the templars are screaming Hawke's name, they're looking skyward and shaking their fists. --Death by Cheese (talk) 22:54, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

How do you guys get these large names? I want a large name!(Darion Cousland (talk) 13:50, September 12, 2014 (UTC))

They are personlised sig's Darion, they are quite easy to make once you know how. --Xsari ^(Talk) 23:20, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

Moral Question

So, was surfing the internet and came across this moral dilemma and it brought a tear to my eye. As humans, can we actually make some decisions to are out of our reach? So I want to hear your thoughts on it guys.

"You are an inmate in a concentration camp. A sadistic guard is about to hang your son who tried to escape and wants you to pull the chair from underneath him. He says that if you don’t he will not only kill your son but some other innocent inmate as well. You don’t have any doubt that he means what he says.

What should you do?" 20:30, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Wow, Laz, bit of a dark hypothetical question there. But I can see what you're trying to get at with it. Sometimes life puts you in a position where Door A sucks, Door B sucks even harder, and Door C is the hardest sucker in Hightown. Anyway, personally, I would tell my son that I love him so very much and that I am sorry, then kick the chair from under him. Simply because I would rather he dies seeing love and regret in his executioners eyes than malice and emptiness. I know that sounds awful, but I would rather not have my son die knowing he was responsible for the death of an innocent. 20:56, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Damn Laz! And I thought we only had to worry about Dave going to far. This is some dark shit man. What happened to happy happy joy joy times? :( Anywhom to answer the questions I'd try to coerce the sadist to kill me and leave the others and if I couldn't do that then I'd push the chair, because I wouldn't want my son to live in that hell hole any longer and he'd find the escape he sought. I don't know how I'd live with myself after that though. Can we go back to laughing and making lewd jokes now? I don't like dark chocolate. Tastes bitter. B.S.S.T. (talk) 21:36, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Yeah. It is dark, but I think this place should be more than that. I found it on the internet yet your answers taught me a lot about how you are and what outlook you have on life. By no means should a thing like this detract from the joy of a place though.

If you're wondering why I asked? A similar analogy will take place in the fan-fic with all you guys in it. Your answers are deciding your life in the story hehe 22:52, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Now you're thinking like a storyteller. I'm rather proud. Though you should know I'm not really intersting. I'm a simple man. I like redheads, cookies, and stories. I get a lot more reclusive around pretty girls and I suck at talking to them. When it comes to matters of the heart I'm very pessimistic at times. I'm a pathological liar. And lastly I am fantastic at talking out of my ass and persuading people. It's a gift. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:05, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

I'll be asking a lot more questions to you especially XD. I'm taking my time with this. 23:07, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

If you take Connor from Assassin's Creed III and Varric from Dragon Age II and put them together that's basically me. To. A. T. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:11, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

But then your British prig of a father comes along, tries to kill you, but then spends the next several months insulting your beliefs and trying to convert you to his Illuminati cult? Yeah, I'm not seeing the resemblance, unless I'm missing something. You don't seem to be a naïve, mopey bastard (in the classical sense). RShepard227 (talk) 01:19, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

The best storytellers are also the best liars and we all wear masks to dinner parties. There's a very sad side to my life that I don't focus on. Instead I pull a Varric and make witty jokes and suppress the sadness. Why do you think he's deflected all the Bianca questions with humor? Get's people off topic and laughing. I'm like Connor in the way that I am strong in my beliefs and every time I try to do something right it blows up in my face. No matter how many times I try. There's also this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6d79JHh3cU which when applied to storytelling and human culture speaks very much to me. B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:36, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

I was pissed when I first heard that. Not because it was made, but because it wasn't in the game. It sums up Connor perfectly and his motivations, but it wasn't played at the end, establishing him as a "naïve mopey teenager/the worst Assassin ever, Grampa Eddie was SO much cooler hur durr so was the bad guy." RShepard227 (talk) 02:25, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

You're not alone there, Hawke. Not alone at all. I still like him as a protagonist, but because I found his strife and struggle so interesting. It made me sad that he didn't have a happy ending even when he deserved one, but Ubisoft was really lazy on that game. Read a comment on youtube once that said the type of character they were going for with Connor required a lot more work and effort than Ubisoft was willing to give. I find a lot of truth in that statement, but they'll never rectify that mistake. They'll just keep moving forward. Kind of sad really. B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:48, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

I'd take the chair and beat the evil bastard to death with it then put the chair back under my sons feet before he chokes. Then untie him and try to escape again with everyone. --Xsari ^(Talk) 00:30, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

Try to beat the son of a bitch with my bare hands (if I get shot fuck it i can stand it), kill him by choking him, untie my son, take his gun and shot my way out of the place.-- 00:12, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

Aw damn I forgot the gun! I'm just running around the place beating bad people to death with a chair leg! Maybe I can find a machine gun somewhere... --Xsari ^(Talk) 1:52, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

Well now I'm regretting my answer. Here I am wanting to die a noble death and you two are killing everything. Can I change it? No? OK then. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:25, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

we can settle this easy did my son do his chores ? hahaha! take the chair beat the fuck out of the guard with it then save my son and tell him to do his damn chores b4 he plays Dragon age Inquisition ! .... im gonna be a great daddy! lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 00:40, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

Lol to the dude & dudette using the chair as a weapon. Remember you are ultra weak, haven't eat in days, have been working all day, and barely have strength, and you're going to try to kill a soldier who's fully built, well eaten, and in peak performance. It shows me you are brave though. 12:06, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

Well fuck you too Laz :P if you put it that way it's one or the other... well I kill myselfand if I can take that fucking soldier with me so be it-- 15:24, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

Lol I was just trying to liven it up a bit! Realistically though I'd most likely go with what B.S.S.T. said --Xsari ^(Talk) 23:25, September 12, 2014 (GMT)

Well I'm asumming I'm going to be in this story too; either under my Darion or Lord Cousland name. I would probily try to fight I might not achive anything, but at least my son would know I tryed. Besides I have on atvantege I'm overwieght meaning that; even if I haven't eaten in days I still have plenty of stored up energy.(Darion Cousland (talk) 13:48, September 12, 2014 (UTC))

Taking a third option: Attack the guard. I'd rather die fighting for two people's lives than killing someone over a "moral" choice. -- 17:09, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Calm Before the Storm

If I may be so liberal as to ask a depressing question, what worries you lot the most about Dragon Age: Inquisition? I've thought long and hard on this subject and after ME3 I thought for sure that DA was going to sink as a franchise no matter how well the next game would be. I've since then became more optimistic and am really looking forward to the game, but I too worry. My biggest concern isn't even the game itself, but the wiki. Mass Effect's wiki is a testament to what happens when the fanbase gives up and it would break my heart to see this place turn out like that. It already happened once with DA2, but that wasn't as bad. New people came in to take the place of the old ones, even though the old ones were incredible editors. I just wonder and worry what the future holds. For this wiki, the fanbase, and the franchise. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:07, September 13, 2014 (UTC)

Honestly from what I've seen I don't feel that worried at all. I have a feeling DAI will really reboot the franchise and restore some peoples faith in Bioware. Also it's a new engine so I see it as a new start for Bioware and so far everything all looks great to me, can't really think of a single thing I very much don't like at the moment. Well other then the companions don't get mounts but that's only a minor thing. I really hope I'm right about how I feel about the game at the moment when it's released. --Xsari ^(Talk) 23:53, September 13, 2014 (GMT)

I did some thinking about this (if you don't mind me dropping in out of the blue, I registered just yesterday, lurker since 2011 though :|) and I said to myself: "Come on, you can't go worse than DA2!". And Mass Effect 3 wasn't even bad, just the ending, which would probably be much better if it was written by Drew Karpyshyn. To me DA:I seems like a step forward, hopefully in the right direction, gameplay-wise and in the graphics department. The thing that is uncertain is the story, and its reception by the fanbase. But generally what Xsari said pretty much sums my opinion up. (Side notes time! 1. This wiki is amazing! So many great people! 2. It's strange how this thread evolved from random craziness to increasing depression. Houston we have a problem! 3. That's a nice stretch of text I just produced. :D) Oh, Saba0th, SHUT YOUR MOUTH ALREADY!!! Yessir! :P Saba0th (talk) 09:28, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Only the last two tangents have been depressing, but the next one won't be. It's going to be some awesome friend fiction. With drama, action, romance, and maybe a couple nudity scene for good measure. Though I have to say it is really strange how far we've come in just a few short days. Thread started out as insanity and is now... actually kind of homey. Strange how that works. You're welcome to stay if you want. Just be careful. Dave'll be back tomorrow and then he'll bring you to the dark side if your not careful. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:35, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I admit, I might have exaggerated a bit, sorry. And I'm a Jedi I can't fall to the darkside! (Yeah right...). Oh, and all those fanfictions are really fun stuff. Can't wait to read yours! :) (I'm desperate for something to pass the time by, 'cause as of right now all I'm doing is browsing the wikia everyday and noodling on my guitar :\) Saba0th (talk) 14:11, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I will only fall to the dark side only if it involves whips, chains and latex... never miss latex oooooh yeah-- 19:07, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Except that one time in the Keep blog. I'll never forget that, Dave. :| B.S.S.T. (talk) 19:09, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Well right now I'm on Holidays so yeah my posting is very laid back but tomorrow I'll do a post on Mexico because for fuck sake!!!! TACO BELL AREN'T TACOS AND 5 MAYO NO ONE GIVES A FUCK EXCEPT FOR THE FACT WE GET A DAY OF!!! this angry rant has been posted by The Amazing, The Sadistic, The Increadible, The Psychoitic 19:13, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Dave I'm Guatemalan and Colombian and I still like Taco Bell more than your "real" tacos. Fuck soft tortillas. Wales, Croatian, Romania! Aussie Aussie Aussie!!! OY OY OY!!! B.S.S.T. (talk) 19:16, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

WHAT?!?! real tacos are the beast, cooked steak, with onion, coriander, pineapple and mexican taco sauce aka salsa *drools*-- 19:20, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Gross. I hate Mexican food. Give me some Italian or maybe English food. The things those guys do with Fish. Oh momma! B.S.S.T. (talk) 19:23, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

WTF are ya talking about, Mexican food is awesome especially because of the diarrhea that comes along with it. Enligsh food does not give you that experience and it is tasteless... for f sake their main dish is FISH AND EFIN' CHIPS... what kind of experience can you get from that.-- 19:57, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

A scaley experience. Also protein. And then there's tartar sauce, which is awesome. B.S.S.T. (talk) 20:05, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Still no good meal is full with out diarrhea, vomit and waaaaaaaaaaaaay to much spices-- 20:11, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

So Dave, I'm curious, when you piss off your girlfriend does she beat you? :P B.S.S.T. (talk) 20:19, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

yes :'( -- 20:29, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I bet you love it! B.S.S.T. (talk) 20:34, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

DAI is pretty much the last chance for redemption for BioWare in the eyes of most of the fandom. I personally enjoyed ME3 and DA2 but do understand why people hate it. I'll still be playing BioWare games in the future though. So Excited for Inquisition. Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 14:36, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Kind of new here myself, (but also a long time lurker :p). I'll be honest here that I might be bit of a Bioware fan-boy, but I like to think I can be reasonable/ critical of them if need be. I can fully understand why people don't like ME3's ending, I'm not that keen on it myself, but the game itself I thought was rather good. I can also understand why DA2 would cause some concern to many individuals, it was a step in a different direction from what DA:O was which created an odd, jarring transition within the franchise. Having said all that though , I try not to get "worried" about games before they actually hit shelves. I will always have my suspicions about choices made, or things that may/may not be in a game, but overall I tend to like waiting for games to be in my consoles before I start making full on judgment calls. But so far I haven't seen anything that I'm suspicious about with DA:I, but maybe that's just me.GreenKnight8 (talk) 18:36, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Friend Fiction Volume 3

Started this at 7, it is now 12. I am very tired. Here you are Starry Knight, Xsari, and Rshep. Just an FYI these characters aren't us. They took on life and started talking. Weird I know. So if they don't act like you don't be alarmed. If anything they're more based on you.

Through The Looking Glass

The wind rustled bucolically as the carriage rode with a nick nock sound against the dirt path. Inside the Carriage a young man was patting his wife’s stomach. “Just another month love.” He kissed her cheek, his stubble brushing softly against her porcelain skin.

Then there was a high pitched squeal. They looked toward the driver with concern.

“What happened?!” The man stood up and grabbed his glowing blue blade. He crashed through the Carriage door and twirled his blade in an intimidating manner.

“The horse was shot!” The driver yelled back at him. Suddenly a volley of arrows lit up the area. Three arrows found their place in the driver’s side, each one hitting a vital organ. Even more arrows found their place in the horse’s side causing it to flee and run westward. The man called to the horse, but was cut short by an arrow tipped with poison into his side. The world around him started to blur and he collapsed.

His eyes fluttered open and looked around cautiously.

“Love?!” He rose with fear and looked all around him, but the Carriage was empty and she was nowhere to be found.

“DAMN IT!” He punched the carriage and cast his eyes downward. On the floor lay a parchment rolled into a cylinder. It read, I know who you are. I know what you are. Deep in the forest there is a Manor, this map will lead you to it. Find it. If you don’t, if you refuse, you will never see you’re pretty wife again.

The man folded the paper into his pocket and walked off. He knew there was a tavern nearby and he needed a drink before he got lost in the forest. The man walked for what felt like hours thinking of all the things that could be happening to his wife. The woman he loved so dearly. He slumped into the Tavern and was greeted by a quite peculiar scene. A young man, looking to be no younger than 18, was waving his hands wildly and telling a fanciful tale about someone called Kurt Caradoc.

“And then” He began and the entire bar leaned in forward to hear what he had to say. “Kurt drew his Kukri’s and stood ready to face his death. Like a crazed jungle cat Forsaker leapt from his throne and sliced at Kurt. Kurt dodged the attack and jabbed at his side, but the blade bounced off Forsaker’s armor. Forsaker then sliced at Kurt’s head, but Kurt parried the strike and slit Forsaker’s wrist. Forsaker stabbed his scimitar into the silver granite floor, and grasped his wrist. He looked at Kurt with rage in his eyes. Kurt ran to the throne and picked up a vintage wine bottle on the side of it. Forsaker threw his scimitar at Kurt and managed to stab his seat of power. Then he ripped the other blade out of the ground and walked towards Kurt. Kurt strapped the wine bottle to his belt, and jumped down. He clashed Forsaker’s blade with his knife and Forsaker grabbed Kurt’s wrist with his free hand and head butt him. Kurt staggered back and recollected himself, while Forsaker hacked at his Kukri. The old knife shattered like a porcelain vase. Kurt unstrapped the bottle of wine and hit Forsaker over the head with it hard enough to smash the bottle. Forsaker, now with red wine in his face and hair, glowered wickedly at the young man. Meanwhile Kurt slit the straps off of Forsaker’s cuirass. The metal chest guard fell to the ground revealing the muscular man’s hairy chest and rippling abs. Forsaker sighed angrily at Kurt and jabbed at the wrist holding the wine bottle, with his pommel. Kurt dropped the bottle and fell to the ground he held up his last Kukri in defense, but Forsaker slashed the blade and snapped it just like the last.” The crowd stirred and rustled to hear the end of the tale. However the young man put up his hands in surrender and said, “That’s it for now folks. Come back tomorrow to hear the end.”

“Ah you tease!” Another man with stone cold blue eyes, and black hair heckled the storyteller.

“Well if you want to hear the rest you have to give me a little incentive. A few silvers and I’ll continue the tale.” The Storyteller bowed his head and rolled off the hat he had been wearing. The customers began dropping silver after silver into the hate. One woman even put in two sovereigns. He perused the hat’s collecting, smiled gleefully, and put the earnings into his coin purse. “That seems splendid enough. Gather round to hear the ending my fair patrons.”

Meanwhile the man with the blue sword sat down at the counter and hailed the barkeep. “Give me your finest whiskey please.”

The barkeep nodded and walked off to get the beverage. Meanwhile the story was ending and the storyteller was making his way towards the counter. The man who heckled him soon followed.

“How much did we make?” The heckler asked.

“Five sovereigns.” The storyteller said.

“Good. That’ll fix our weapons, get us a decent meal, pay for room tonight, and-” The Heckler stroked the small stubble on his face and brushed the single strand of hair out of his face.

“And buy us a good time?!” The storyteller smiled wryly.

“Well it’ll buy me a good time. I don’t know about you. Most women like a real man, not some small boy.” The heckler smiled sarcastically and protruded his mighty chest in a facetious manner.

“If they don’t like small boys why are they getting with you?” The storyteller ran his fingers through his long black hair, which stood an inch high.

“Boy, you know I’m ten times bigger than you.” The Heckler laid back in the bar stool and tool a swig of ale.

“True, but I’m more lithe and dexterous. Plus I can do wonder with my hands.” He stroke his beard mockingly.

“I will beat you. With a stick. Right now.” He wiped his mouth with his huge thick brawly arms.

“Come at me bro!” He said with a glint of madness in his chocolate brown eyes. They stood up next to each other and banged their chests against each other. From this angle the blue sword wielding man could see that the Heckler was older, stronger, and much more handsome, but the storyteller was light, lithe, and looked quick. The Heckler banged his chest against the storyteller’s chest and caused him to fall on to the floor with a thud. He then helped him back up and together they laughed joyously.

“You two are strange.” The swordsmen said nursing his whiskey bottle.

“We’re not strange. We’re bounty hunters.” The storyteller said with a smile.

“Well I’m a bounty hunter. He’s a pack mule.” The Heckler grabbed the storyteller by the throat and started giving him a noogie.

“Ah, stop it! You’re gonna ruin my hair. I just got it in that perfect Rivaini quaff.” The storyteller puffed indignantly.

“You two are bounty hunters?” The swordsmen looked at them with astonishment.

“Yes. We can get any job done for you. No matter how grandiose.” The storyteller wrestled against the bear like arm that held his throat.

“Could you help me?” The swordsmen beseeched the pair.

“Depends. How much would you pay us?” The Heckler pushed the storyteller off the stool and to the ground. He put his boot on the storyteller’s chest to hold him down.

“Anything!” The swordsmen answered.

“Anything?” The heckler cocked his head in curiosity.

“Anything!” The storyteller yelled in joy. “Can we be paid in food, horses, and women?!”

“Hush!” The heckler chided him. “Very well. You shall have our sword arms.”

“Wonderful! Now what I need you two to do is to take me into the Planasene Forest and guide me to this manor.” The Swordsmen placed the map on the table.

“I don’t know the forest well enough to know this land marks. We try to stay away from it.” The heckler reluctantly emitted.

“Never mind him, we could definitely do that!” The storyteller got up and dusted his bistre frock coat off.

“Roban! Don’t lie to the man.” The heckler countered his friend.

“Oh come now Colin, we’ve done so much more than just wondered in a forest how hard could it be?” He smiled with assurance.

“My name is Royce and please we must be off now.” The swordsmen said with urgency.

“Of course allow me to gather my bearings and we will embark on your venture.”

“In low lander that means we’re going to get our shit together. Forgive him. He studied under Fergus Cousland and took some of his mannerisms.”

“Fergus Cousland? Of Highever?” Royce’s brown eyes went wild with surprise.

“Yup, we’ll tell you the story while on the road.” Roban and Colin walked up the Tavern stairs and into a room. There they grabbed their blades, bombs, bolts, and bows. Once Roban had settled his pair of crossbows on his back the duo went back down stairs and met up with Royce.

“Come on, Royce.” Colin started, “We’ve a pair of horses for travel.”

“Oh do I not get my own?” Royce looked hurt.

“Sure you can buddy! Here.” Roban threw the coin purse at him. “Go over to the stable master and buy a horse.”

“I won’t use all of it I promise.” Royce walked off, his silverite armor clanking as he did.

“If we don’t eat tonight it’s on your head.” Colin quietly spoke as the sun began to set.

---

The moon hung brilliantly in the midnight sky as they rode through the forest. “You have no idea where we’re going do you?” Colin sighed towards Roban.

“I have… some idea.” Roban shrugged.

“That’s great.” Colin sighed again.

“Friends please, just get me to manor and we’ll all be fine.”

“Don’t worry Roycey old boy! We’ll get you there lickety split.”

Then the trees began to rustle and the horse stopped dead in their tracks. The woods grew very quiet and then there was nothing. No sound, no light, nothing. In a lightning flash an arrow passed right in front of Royce’s horse and a group of five hunters with bows at the ready marched in front of the group. Royce’s horse bucked, but he kept it under control and soothed the beast. One hunter walked in front of the others and lowered her bow slightly. She was a lovely girl with emerald green eyes, ivory skin, a golden wavy bob of hair, and had glowing green face tattoos on her forehead that resembled a tree and an arrow at the same time.

“Halt intruders. The Dalish have camped in these lands and I suggest you move on before we have to make you.”

“Hello sweet thing! How’s your night going?” Roban smiled seductively, but came off as a lecher. The huntress simply shot an arrow right next to his head. “Hmm, I take it you don’t want a good time then?”

“Speak to me like that again Shem and I will plant an arrow so deeply inside your head it will take four men to rip out.”

“Ooh you’re feisty! I like that in a woman.”

“Excuse my friend. He’s not used to speaking with women outside of a brothel. We’ve come wondering these woods in search of a manor.” Colin sighed and said calmly.

“Yes we need help getting there please! It’s of vital importance. We don’t know how to traverse these woods can you help us?” Royce begged the Huntress, who had another arrow knocked towards Roban’s head.

“I will take you to our Keeper, so long as you keep this one under control.” She spoke with much force and anger.

“You know you can keep under control yourself. All we need is some rope, manacles, and a gag.” Roban flexed his eyebrows.

“Roban.” Colin looked at him with intense curiosity.

“Yes, Colin?” Roban continued looking at the Huntress.

“Shut up.”

“Yes, Colin. I hate you mom.” Roban sighed reluctantly.

The group entered the Dalish camp as fire crackled in lit braziers. The Keeper sat next to a fire reading a book on what looked like Elven Poetry.

“Keeper.” The lead Huntress walked toward her leader.

“Vreia, you’ve returned and you’ve brought guests. How quaint. How can we help you Shemlen?”

“Please my wife has been kidnapped and I need to find a manor somewhere in these woods. My Bounty Hunting friends here can’t find it and we’ve been wondering around for hours.”

“Ah, that is a problem. Vreia come with me dear.” After they had left Roban stretched and said, “So you guys think I got a shot with her?”

“No.” Colin snorted.

“I love you too, man.” Roban sarcastically chided his friend.

The Keeper returned with a displeased looking Vreia, “I have talked with my Hunter here” he began, “and she has agreed to guide you through the forest.”

“Oh so we’re traveling with her now huh?” Roban strutted towards her. “Hi, I’m Roban.” Vreia stared straight at him, walked past him, and kissed one of her hunters passionately.

“I’ll come back I promise.” She reluctantly let go of his hands and stood before Royce. “Are we ready to leave now?”

“Bet you feel like an asshat right now.” Colin chuckled.

“You have no idea.” Roban sighed.

---

The sun cascaded rays of light through the tree tops as they rode together. It was early morning and they had just left camp.

“So Vreia, right?” Roban broke the silence they had been riding in.

“Yes, Roban.” The elf said coolly.

“So you’ve a… what is he exactly? A boyfriend? Life partner? Person you lie with then leave?”

“No! Why must everything be so perverted with you people?!” Vreia snorted in disgust.

“I’m sorry. It’s just when I see a pretty girl I really want to take her to brown town.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’m used to people not liking me. They love my stories though. Take what you can get.” The storyteller smiled.

“If you talk like this to all women then it’s no wonder you’re alone.”

“You can say that again!” Colin laughed.

“So tell me something Vreia.”

“What Roban?”

“Has he licked your lamppost, yet?”

“What?!”

“Established his cannon? Dalish your Elf? Explore your deep roads?”

“You are the most-”

“Or maybe he mastered your taint. That’s an old one.”

“I hate you.”

“Most women do.”

Colin rode closer to Royce, “Hey are you doing OK?”

“I’m as fine as a man who’s worried about his pregnant wife could be.” Royce stared ahead.

“Don’t worry. We’ll find her. We have a Dalish Elf, they’re smart, capable, and know the forest better than most.” Colin reassured him.

“They also blush easily!” Roban teased Vreia.

“Will you shut up!?!” Vreia’s face turned a fiery red color.

“I can’t. I never learned how!” Roban laughed wildly.

“Hmph, he’s a strange man. How did you find him?” Royce mumbled to Colin.

“He was hiding on a ship that I needed to give cargo to. I took him in, raised him. I’ve known him since he was a kid.” Colin said quietly.

“You’re not blood?”

“No, but we’re family of a different kind.”

“Why were you giving cargo to a ship? Were you a merchant?”

“Hardly, I was a fishermen’s son. I was doing a favor for my father when I was staying in Highever. See one day when I was practicing sword play in the fields a solider came over to me and started giving me pointers. From that point on he was my mentor. He even gave me a small place to live in Highever, though I was living with a lower lord and had to be a servant, but it was still better than scrounging for food or worse eating fish all day. After Fergus taught me everything he knew I left. Told him I was going to be a mercenary. He was displeased at first, but eventually came around. I write him letters sometimes.”

“And what about the boy?”

“I taught him everything Fergus taught me, though he picked up the crossbows himself.”

“I see.”

“What about you? Where do you come from Royce?”

“I used to be a mage in the Circle tower of Ferelden, but then I ran away. I took ship and sailed the world. Met my wife while visiting a shore city. She was magnificent. We met at a little bar she really was the one time stops for my legs had a mind of their own cause the next thing I knew I was next to her... and didn’t think of a fucking thing to say on my way over, ha ha! We’ve been together four years married for almost 3 and known each other for 6.”

“She sounds lovely.”

“Thank you.”

“So… when we get to this manor will there be greased whores waiting for me?” Roban tried changing the subject.

“Can I shoot him with an arrow?” Vreia interjected.

“I’m sorry, miss, but you can’t. I need him in top condition for when we save my wife.”

“Fine… but if he says one more sexual thing I’m cutting off his balls.”

“Ooh, that sounds kinky. Me like!” Roban smiled and laughed. Vreia sighed and rode her Halla, Amelia, far away from Roban.

---

At sunset the Group finally made it to the Manor. They crossed their horses over to a stable and walked cautiously inside, Roban and Colin guarding the door the whole way. Vreia knocked her bow and readied herself. Suddenly a woman appeared from a flight of stairs.

“You’ve come at last!” She screamed in delight.

“Where’s my wife, you bitch!” Royce cast a fireball spell in his hands and aimed it directly at the Woman.

“Right here.” She gestured toward a beautiful woman in a long flowing red dress.

“My love.” Royce embraced his wife and hugged her tightly.

“Tallia, we have guests fetch them some tea.” She spoke with a squeaky Orlesian accent.

“Mind telling me what the hell is going on?” Roban asked.

“Oh I’m so sorry for this inconvenience. I wanted to tell you in my letter that I was a mother of twin mages, but I didn’t know what to say. I needed incentive to get you to come here. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking and I was just so scared.”

“Whoa calm down lady. Give us the full story please.” Colin placed his hands on her shoulder.

“OK. A few weeks ago my son and daughter were showing signs of being magical. I was happy. I always admired mages in stories and books, but then the Templars came. My husband, poor Remi, he tried fighting them. They killed him there on the spot and took my babies.” The woman collapsed and started crying.

“Where did they take your children?” Vreia grabbed a cloth on the table.

“To the Circle in Markham.” The woman said over sobs.

Royce looked at the poor woman and his eyes shown with deep sorrow. His kissed his wife passionately and she too knew what he had to do.

“I promise you ma’am we’re going to get your children back.” Royce kneeled down next to her and told her calmly. The woman hugged him and sobbed on his shoulder.

“Oh thank you! I knew you would help! The stories about you always speak of your kindness. There’s a carriage lead by the fastest horses money could buy, please race to Markham. Save my children. I’ll stay here with your wife and keep her safe.”

“Thank you.” Royce stood valiantly. “Men, let us be off.”

“I’m a woman.” Vreia said.

“Oh you know what I mean.”

---

It took them half a day to get there. The sun was already setting as they inched inside the building. The trio ran inside the apprentices quarters and looked around until they found them sleeping soundly on a small bed.

“Glad she gave us a drawing of them.” Roban whispered softly. Royce crouched and walked over to them and woke them up.

“What?” The boy looked at him.

“Shh, I’m a friend of your mother. We’re going to get you out of here I promise.”

“Mother?!” The girl squealed.

“Is she OK? Please sir, I just want to go home.” The boy said with tears in his eyes.

“We all do, son. We all do.” Roban sunk his head and took the children’s hands.

“I don’t understand him.” Vreia looked at Roban in confusion.

“What don’t you understand?” Colin asked her.

“He’s such a perverted asshole, yet he looks like he really cares for those kids.”

“Not everything’s always what it seems Vreia.” Colin drew his swords and rushed over to the door. The group got the children into the Caravan when suddenly an arrow was shot right behind Roban’s foot.

“Shit. Don’t worry kids, it’s going to be OK. We’re going to get you home, I promise.” Roban drew his crossbows and walked toward his friends. “Where are they?!”

“Snipers perched up top. Vreia can you?”

“I’m on it!” Vreia shot arrow after arrow faster than she knocked them. Before long the Snipers were defeated, but a force of 30 Templars came rushing out of the building.

“That’s a little much for just 4 guys.” Roban sighed.

“Release the mages.” A man, who they presumed to be the Knight Commander, came forward.

“That’s not happening.” Royce said smugly.

“Release the mages and you may be shown mercy.” He said again.

“He said no.” Vreia chided.

“I will not ask again. Release the mages, now!”

“Death First!” Roban shot two bolts straight at his head.

The commander pulled up his shield and blocked the bolts. “Men, kill them.”

The Templars charged the small band and clashed blades with them. Roban left in front of two Templars and shot two bolts into their backs. He then placed his crossbows back on their holsters and took out a sword and dagger he had. He clashed with another Templar and skit his blade out of his hands then shoved the sword straight into his chest. Colin was bearing all he had down on the Templars. Slicing head after head off and dodging every attack they had. He forced his blade into three Templars chest plates and killed them all in an instant. Vreia shot arrow after arrow into the Templar’s visors never missing a shot, but when she ran out of arrows she took to her daggers and dueled hand to hand with the mage hunters. She cut one’s throat, sliced at another’s arm, stabbed into two Templar’s visors, and dropped kicked a fifth one. Royce was burning Templars with fire and casting healing magic to his friends the whole way through. With his star metal blade he cut into one’s chest lifted him high into the air and then threw the body into a group of three. The group was slaying Templar after Templar, but just as the battle started turning ahead more came out. Colin looked to Royce and they shared an understanding look.

“Roban, Vreia, with me! Royce-” Colin ordered.

“I got it.” Royce began conjuring a great big fireball and threw it straight at the Templars. As they lie in a flaming burst of destruction Royce leapt into the back of the caravan the group road into the night.

---

Upon returning to the Manor, Royce was greeted by his wife with a passionate kiss and the Mother greeted her children the same.

“We do good work don’t we?” Roban smiled at Colin.

“That we do.” Colin smiled back.

“Thank you, all of you, for everything. My wife and I are going to stay with them for a time. I’ll teach the children and train them how to blend in with society. They’ll be fine. We’ll probably need to go somewhere safer. The Templars will be looking for us here.”

“Indeed. It’s been good Royce, take care.” Colin shook his hand.

“Before I forget here’s your payment one hundred sovereigns total.”

“Thank you Royce.” Colin nodded his head and took the coin purse.

“Does this mean we can get brothel women?!” Roban began jumping up and down. Colin gave a long heavy exasperated sigh, “Yes Roban. This means we can have Brothel Women.”

“Yay!”

“I am going to return to my clan. Thank you for this experience, Colin.” Vreia smiled.

“You’re welcome. Thank you for your aid.”

“And Roban.”

“Yes Milady?” He fixed his Coat and looked at her expectantly.

“I hope you don’t die… friend.” Vreia smiled and left the two.

“Hey she called me friend.” Roban smiled heartily. “Does that mean sex?!”

Colin face slapped his forehead, “You know that’s not what it means.”

“Yeah you’re right. So are we leaving now?”

“Yup. Time to go old friend.” Colin opened the door for Roban.

“If you need us again just call us.” Roban waved at Royce, who waved back and smiled.

Royce smiled at his wife and rubbed her stomach. “Just one more month my love.”

And of course a song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJjstZNfi3A

B.S.S.T. (talk) 19:04, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Is Awakening even necessary anymore?

So guys, wondering if you can help me. Is Awakening really needed on playthroughs anymore and here is why I am asking. So, with the reveal of the Keep and how you can alter past choices to ones you never made before. I am replaying Origins and 2 again but Awakening is boring the hell out of me right now so I want to skip it and go straight to 2. Is Awakening necessary for me anymore as I can just edit it with the Keep that I already did it? Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 20:54, September 14, 2014 (UTC)Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 20:54, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Yes I believe you can edit it in the Keep with the decisions you would have made so think it's safe to skip it if you want. I'm pretty certain they showed that in the demo. --Xsari ^(Talk) 22:52, September 14, 2014 (GMT)

Aw, I like Awakening. It's so short. But yeah, what Xsari said. --Death by Cheese (talk) 22:03, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks. I'm just tired of playing throguh Awakening again and its started to bore me right now. Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 22:08, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I hear ya. I completed Amgarrak for the 4th time the other day, and I'm done with that DLC for good. I don't like it at all. I'll probably never play Leliana's Song or Darkspawn Chronicles again, either. --Death by Cheese (talk) 22:12, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I think that is just a necesary as eating, breathing or even talking for fuck sakes man do it do it now or we will all die!!!!!-- 22:33, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Ive been playing as de ladies lately Lady cousland might start off as a lady on Inquisition also GIRL POWER!!!! on destiny alsoStar Metal Knight (talk) 22:38, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Pffft Newb. I've been playing as women since I was 13! Get on my level, Star. I never even once played as a man on Skyrim or GTA Online! B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:54, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

pffft NEWBY NEWB! Ive been getting played by REAL women while you were playing the fake ones! wait that doesnt sound any betterStar Metal Knight (talk) 23:01, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

:'( Man dawg you just hurt my feelings. I'm going to cry in the corner for a while. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:06, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

This is sooooooooooooooo gay... REAL MEN ONLY PLAY AS MEN!!!-- 23:12, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Hey if you like staring at a guy's ass and face and fantasizing about them while you play be my guest. I'll do that stuff to women. Oh and when I do Urn of Sacred Ashes I don't get uncomfortable. B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:17, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

ur feelings are hurt cause the women were playing me guess you missed that part not attacking you at all lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 23:24, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

when you find a real man then dave let me know hahaha burrrrrrrrn... dude tis fucking sux wed be playing DAI in a few weeks instead of alot of weeks dont know whats worse waiting for this game or wifey dropping off me lil girlStar Metal Knight (talk) 23:24, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

See Dave you dont mess with me and my Bssty! in fact ill make a lady inquisitor dwarf named dave now lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 23:26, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Wait we can do that, can't we? Why haven't I done that before?! B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:30, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Ok lemme go eat my girls pussy while you both bitch over here about being real men-- 23:34, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

Then when we hear you crying because she was playing "too rough" we'll laugh. Secretly I'm very sad because I don't got a girl to do that to... :( Lucky bastards with their wives and girlfriends takes a swig from a long island iced tea I've been alone for sixty years! Or is it sixteen? Where am I? B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:38, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

easy dave just joking bro lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 23:55, September 14, 2014 (UTC)

I'm joking bro, as soon as I told that to my girl got a laugh from her :P-- 00:16, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Fuck now I'm really sad. I want a girl like that... I MEAN Er Monster Trucks. Dragon Age! Swords! Hugh wide piercing swords. I'm just... gonna go... write some Friend Fiction or something. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:14, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Now, leave Dave alone. I make the majority of my characters in my likeness because it improves the immersion, especially those naughty-but-not-not-so-naughty scenes, Giggity giggity goo. But also, BSST, 60 years or 16 is nothing. try being a sexy 400 year old vampire who has never had any. Even Dracula had his wives... I have nothing. I woke up too late, zombies became the new "trend". Damn you Romero!

P.S. BSST you really aren't missing out on much (IMO), unless you have feelings for that special someone, it is a bit...sad. For me it was anyway, one year ago, and I'm coming up 22, I gave it up after a few drunken nights out with a girl who kind of liked me, (it was more that I was the only single guy around at the time), and it was... well, shit. I'd much rather it happened with my ex, btw that relationship ended on good terms and we're still friends. I did love her though, so you know. Better to love the girl than to spunk away that special moment, as cliche as that may sound... No point in sitting around daydreaming, I'm sure you can get a girl if you put your mind to it.Think about that quote from back to the future... 00:25, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

You know it's when I hear stories like this that I'm happy I'm more asexual than heterosexual these days. I may talk like not having anyone bugs me, but I'm used to it. Hell I making it a joke man. If I get a girl I'm happy. If not then oh well. I got stories to tell and drawings to get done. Progress! I ain't got time for no (pretty girl walks past me) oh hello! Where was I? Oh well. You get the point. Thanks for the pep talk though, I appreciate it. :) B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:31, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm pretty much in that boat now. I've graduated uni, living back with my parents because I love London, but it's so stupidly expensive to live there on your own. So, its difficult to meet a girl when you're in that kind of situation, because unless you really see a potential future with them, you just end up going with them for either a double bed, or sex. In fairness a double bed, a really comfortable one, is better than sex with a random girl, again thats just my opinion. Sorry, gone off on a tangent now. 01:22, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

The section got off topic long before you joined in buddy, but that's the nature of the forum. Get off topic and have fun. Never liked Sex myself. More of a foreplay man. Food sex is a different story though. B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:25, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Long before I got here I was a party animal, right after Uni I got my first job while I still lived with my parents so I did some pretty nasty shit, then I moved out and did worse... let's just say that there is almost nothing that scares me. I like sex, the party, the booze and the "stuff" but hey you gotta grow up some time and so I settled down with a girl that doesn't party as much. When I was in college I was like you no GF, no real friends that lifted me up, nothing... I was pretty much alone and felt like you guys. After I hooked up with the love of my life and had one of the worst relationships I could ever wish for I got so hammered I realized I needed help and so I went to a therapist and lived... really lived.

What I'm trying to say is that yes we all got baggage, yes it's scary out there but feeling blue won't get ya anywhere and saying I'm asexual won't protect from getting hurt. What you guys need is help and trust me it helps out a lot, I got some pretty nasty bruises on me that should stop me for ever being in a relationship but remember what Rocky Balboa said "The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!"-- 05:03, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Believe you me Dave, I know. I really know. I may never have had a girlfriend before, but that doesn't mean I've never loved. Those stories aren't ones I look back on with a smile. I've come a long way and I've a longer way to go, but I'm OK. I've learned what it means to hope, wait, try, and trust. Faith, Effort, Patience, and Hope are what get me up in the morning. They're the most important things you could possibly have when you're with a person. I'd like to think they're all you need to make it work, but I know there not. If things were that easy there'd be a lot less divorce in this world. All I am is an old storyteller trying to get home. I don't know when I'll get there, but I do know she's the first step. I don't know when I'll meet her and I don't know where. I do know that she's going to be worth the wait though. Don't take me for some sad sap who's spending all his time moping about a girl. If I wanted one so bad I'd have gotten one by now, but the best ones come to you. You don't go to them. Kind of like stories. B.S.S.T. (talk) 05:39, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

its ok your young my brother doesnt change my opinion on how awesome you are same for Deak and dave and all you others that why i hope to get u all on psn so we can shoot the shit and shoot or stab some shit also relationships come in time i was singel now im married wit a baby on the way hell ask some of the guy we wish we had a bit of alone time you will probly be on your 10th play through b4 I finish my first ps i have an Idea for a drawing its kinda funny if you would do me the honor Varric lolStar Metal Knight (talk) 00:44, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Are you kidding? I am shit at drawing! I know how to draw, I just don't know how to apply my knowledge. It'll be a while before I can take requests. I still gotta work on my linework. Got a third batch of Zim characters I've been procrastinating on. Then it's off to do Adventure Time guys to learn flow and... what was the word Noah used...Consistency that was it! Ah, so much work and all the time to do it. Makes me lazy and complacent. I mean look at this thing: http://technoattic7.deviantart.com/art/Do-You-Bite-Your-Thumb-At-Me-461086879 That took me nine hours and it's stil shit. Proportions are off on the wrist, neck, arms, and hair. Nose looks all wrong. And a bunch of other things. I'm poop at this drawing thing, but like any good artist will tell you, this shit takes time.

You know it's funny once you drop the age bomb no one respects you anymore. Been that way ever since I can remember. It's why I don't actually say my age quite often. I'm ashamed to be so young. You guys are all older and have more freedom, but me... I got too many grandiose ideas and not even years under my belt to get them done. Sometimes I wish I could be as stupid and complacent as the asshats in my class, but we all have our burdens to bear. Mine's wisdom. Fuck wisdom. Schools give you knowledge, but wisdom is earned through sorrow and regret. Ah, if only I wasn't so... old. Seems like a funny word to use in this rant. I'm rambling now, sorry about that. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:57, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

I loved pretty much all the DLC personally. I love Awakening though because you actually got to play as the leader of a branch of the Grey Wardens, as opposed to the more emergency de facto situation we had in Origins. -120.149.113.197 (talk) 02:01, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

This post has turned into any bar night out, first party, weird shit and then depression... some get the "stuff" out and start partying!!!-- 05:32, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Ugh, time difference sucks Archdemon balls I tell you. >:( Saba0th (talk) 09:01, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

B.S.S.N. I want you to remember that know matter how alone you might feel sometimes. Everyone on this wiki is your friend and you are never alone. Secondly I have always believed that friendship is a form of love. You don't love friends in the same way you might love a girlfriend or a soul mate, but you still love them nonetheless, so let me say it I love you guys all of you. I love you all in that family or frienship kind of way(I hope I did not creep you guys out or anything.). I think that as people we all deep down just want to be loved. It's why I chose Morrigan in DAO, because despite all of her coldness at the end of the day she was just a scared woman who just wanted to be loved, because she had never felt like anyone in her life ever really loved her. I am a suker for that. The fact that the Warden can choose to love her despite all her faults; is what makes that love story so beutiful to me. The point is no matter how loney you may sometimes feel. Somewhere out there is a beutiful red head girl that feels just as alone as you do, and one day you will find eachother. Just like I will find my dream girl when I am ment to. As far as your art with drawling is concerned. Art comes from the heart it dosen't matter how it looks; whats important is that that it came from within you. I just want you to remember these things B.S.S.N. I hope it helps you or anyone ealse who reads it.(Darion Cousland (talk) 14:50, September 15, 2014 (UTC))

Da heck just happened

Imagine an archdemon that's shaped as a brood mother with wings. Da heck. 14:22, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Are we going back to weird now? Hooray! I've so missed weird. Also that's the Daughter of Urthemiel... yeah she was a shame to the family. Kill her! Kill her with fire!! B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:25, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

M face would be like What the Hell??? Who thought of that Ray???-- 14:34, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

O.o Flying broodmother OMG D: Thedas' worst enemy, like, it would spit tiny winged meatbags that look all cuddly and stuff, until they get in your head! And then you're a ghoul D: And it would spit giant pukeballs :P Saba0th (talk) 15:32, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

y havent we seen any darkspawn in DAI yet and why the hell is Lord Couslands men launching Grilled Cheese from the catapults Star Metal Knight (talk) 15:34, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

They ran out of nugs for the catapults, Oghren ate them all! --Xsari ^(Talk) 22:35, September 15, 2014 (GMT)

A ghostbusters kinda scene would be awesome "oooh shit it slimed all over me" or "Don't cross arrows!!!" or something out of nowhere "hmmm flying titties"... aaaww shit I could go forever on the one liners -- 16:35, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Flying blood mother??? Wait isn't that the one Dave violated to get the Shield of a Thousand Boobs from??? --Xsari ^(Talk) 22:35, September 15, 2014 (GMT)

Nah, this is a totally different beast, though I bet she/it drops something good. Anyone up for a boss fight? ;) Saba0th (talk) 11:10, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

¡Viva Mexico Cabrones!

File:4737045 7d7613d16f01304da7f92edf818db88b.jpg

REAL TACOS

First things first, I've heard in a lot of places that 5 de Mayo is the big Mexican feast and it is not. 5 de Mayo celebrates Puebla's Battle in which Mexico defeated the French and we do no celebrations or anything, we just don't go to work or school.

September 16th is the day we celebrate Mexico's independence from Spain, this is the day we all put on mustaches, sombreros, drink tequila and eat tacos, pozole or any traditional food. On this day the president steps outside and just as Miguel Hidalgo did over 200 years ago sounds the bell of independence shouting "Viva Mexico" and we celebrate our national heroes like:

• Emiliano Zapata.
• Francisco Villa.
• Francisco I. Madero.
• Miguel Hidalgo.
• Jose Maria Morelos y Pavón.
• Iturbide.
• And many many more...

I have to remark that we celebrate the start of the war of independence, the day Hidalgo and the insurgents wanted to be free of Spanish oppression.

We are a very rich country, and trust me when I say there is hardly any violence here. News try to make us look like we live in a drug filled country and it is not, look at some of our rich and beautiful places and you'll fall in love with this place.

Today we stay with family and friends, celebrate the fact that we are proud Mexicans. This is out most important day so if you ever see a Mexican today tell him Happy Independence Day 'cus just like any country we earned it with the blood and sweat of our ancestors. So today at midnight we scream "VIVA MEXICO CABRONES!!!".

18:44, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Happy Independence Day to you Dave, and to all Mexicans. I rarely see many Mexicans in England so i'll say mine over the web. 22:13, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

You're not missing out on much. They look like Italians and talk like Spaniards (kind of). I'm sure you've seen plenty of those guys in England or on your travels. Be glad you don't have to eat their meals, Mexican food is terrible. On the off hand their culture is rich, decadent, and beautiful. Especially Dio De los Muertos or the Day of the Dead. Say what you will about Mexicans, but they party harder than any other race especially on Dio De Los Muertos. Australians are the only ones who give them a run for their money. B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:36, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

I'm travelling the Americas next year, so I'll keep a lookout haha. 22:41, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Oh quick thing then. Take a Spanish guide with you, like an actual person. Spanish is spoken in so many different dialects it's ridiculous. Spain spanish and Mexican spanish are as similar as American English and Japanese English. B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:44, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

My friend knows how to speak Spanish and Portuguese so I think I'll survive lol. 22:49, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Dude don't worry we understand each other and also if you come to Mexico City hit me up-- 13:12, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Archiving

Can we archive all these sub-edits maybe, like it is done on people's talk pages? I'll re-do the intro, but it's going to get hard to manage, and we can always come back to this. 22:49, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

I think that's best, but give people a day to wrap up conversations. Or maybe read friend fiction. After today or tomorrow you can archive everything and we'll continue on from there. I think this the best solution, but I'm not the only one here. What are your guy's thoughts?B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:53, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

I'd suggest 14 day half-lives on threads before getting archived, so give it until Thursday. Most people seem to be out of banter, for now. RShepard227 (talk) 00:47, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

I second that. So... the Friend Fiction. Was it really that bad? I never got feedback on it. Was it too long? Sorry if I'm being a pest, just curious. B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:54, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

Not bad. You made the characters believable Heroes of Another Story [3], but the fighting 30 templars at once bit was a little...Hawkish. And in the heart of one of the templars' most well-defended buildings? I get that you were going for epic tales, so maybe it was really 10-15, and Roban is simply telling an embellished version of those events in the next story? That's your cue to start writing the next adventure. ;) I liked Colin's characterization a lot, although I prefer fist-bumping to chest-bumping. And I'll leave you with this: [4] (Relevant part is 00:36 on) RShepard227 (talk) 01:20, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

| I do good, Hawke? There was a lot of things that could have came out better. Royce didn't really feel like the protagonist and I should have gotten a description for his wife. The pacing was pretty shitty towards the end. Should have made this a whole serial instead of just a one off, but you live and learn. Might just revisit these characters and do this again. The characterization was the best part in my opinion. They really started speaking to me after a while and I just kind of rolled for what they wanted. Was their anything you didn't like or would change? B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:26, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry if I'm being dum but what do you mean by archiving? Also so sorry B.S.S.T. I only got a chance to read through it last night and forgot to give you feed back today! Got to say I loved my character and the banter between her and Roban. I agree with you about Royce not really seeming like the protagonist though and what Rshep said about the end fight. Also I thought the Orleisian woman was going to be a bady and thought it a little strange how she kidnapped Royce's wife, killing the driver and horse in the process, just to ask him for help. I didn't find it too long but maybe it could have been split into parts as well. Overall it was fun to read though and the characters were interesting. Really liked the part where you put in how SMK met his real wife in the story. Thanks for writing it. --Xsari ^(Talk) 03:06, September 16, 2014 (GMT)

Er, how to explain. Archiving is what you see the Admins do when they get their talk pages too filled up. I don't know the process of it, but it's basically like putting files in a file cabinet. I'm glad you liked the story. I'm contemplating doing more of them, but I don't know if I should base them on us or give them their own voice. It's a lot more fun to hear them out then hear myself out, if you get what I mean. Oh and the Orlesian women sent Bandits to take his wife. She didn't do anything, but pay them. B.S.S.T. (talk) 02:31, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

Ah ok understood! Thanks. I'd love to see more stories from you! I'm thinking of, when it's finished, taking the content from Lord Cousland's dinner party and turning it into a formulated story so others can read what we made together. It's a lot of fun making a story with other people as well, though there have been some conflicts of people missing stuff out from others posts and where the story should go. Sadly haven't seen Darion on there for a while as well. --Xsari ^(Talk) 12:20, September 16, 2014 (GMT)

Ok, so when will the archiving start and does anyone know how to do it???-- 13:10, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Laz knows how to do it and I think common consensus (or as common a consensus as me and Rshep could be) was Thursday, ie tomorrow. You can always go back to the old points in the Forum. They're not gone, just archived. Like I said before think of it as a file cabinet that we're putting files into. You can take the files out any time you want and even add on to them, but they'll always be filed back. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:19, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I know that, I do that in my job I just don't know how it is done here 'cus if I did I would do it-- 13:37, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Alright I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you understood. I don't know the process, but I know what it is. Laz will take care of it. Don't worry you're pretty little head. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:44, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I don't, but I'm going to get an admin to hopefully do it for us. 15:29, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Lazare, I think it's time to Archive the forum. It's been long enough and the conversations are pretty much over. Contact an Admin, perhaps Cousy, and ask them how to do this thing or ask them to do it. Which ever you desire. Apologies if I'm sounding pushy, I just think now's as a good a time as any to get this thing done. I think I'll post some questions after the forum is archived to liven up the place a little. B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:28, September 18, 2014 (UTC)

Keep

So...guess who just got into the Keep? ;) King Cousland | Talk   23:43, September 16, 2014 (UTC) ~

Holy sh... KC is in tha house!!! *Throws down a beat* and also Congrats bro... Hope it is as cool as I hope -- 02:24, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Guys... he's here. HOLY FUCK! Dude you're like... my favorite Admin. So many questions. How's the Keep? Are you going to reply on this thread more often? Did you read what we said about you? And finally, what kind of alcohol do you prefer? B.S.S.T. (talk) 23:48, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

Haha, well they haven't actually sent me an invite yet, just an email to say "Hey, you're on our priority list so expect an invite in the next two days." Really excited though! I haven't read what you said about me (but now you're making me curious, haha) but I could very well be visiting the forums more frequently! And, I have to confess I'm not a huge drinker, but I'm partial to a good Scotch whisky now and again. King Cousland | Talk   10:41, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

We talked about you and the other Admins briefly under the Blog Comments tangent if you're curious. If you're going to visit the forum more often you should be prepared because we get off topic more than a room full of ADD kids. Actually... this Forum is pretty much a room filled with ADD adults. Anyway hope you enjoy the Keep, it looks like fun and I hope you enjoy our insanity in this forum! B.S.S.T. (talk) 12:35, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I don't get off topic,but... oooh a pretty butterfly... oooh a cat I like cats, specially for satanic rituals.

Also, BSST what kind of friend are you that you don't give KC a drink and some ladies.-- 12:44, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Pfft, Dave seriously? Cousy is so badass he has a Harem of 12 grand spanking, hotter than the sun, women. I don't need to give him women and he said he don't like drinks too much, but as a welcoming present do you think we should give him a gallon of Scotch Whiskey? B.S.S.T. (talk) 12:54, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Give him a bottle of Jack Daniel's Mr Jack's 160th Birthday and even if has a harem we need to treat our brother like the king he is... bring him our sexiest girl, bring him big sexy Lazzy and her 7 veil naked dance!!!-- 13:07, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Alright I'll have our man Star get him the Jack, but what about Lazzy. Should we bathe her and bring her to him or tie her up and let him go wild? Decisions, decisions. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:12, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

*Slaps BSST across the face* Do I have to do everything around here? Tie her up, put a leash on her and let KC run wild with her... jesus must i do everything?-- 13:18, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

*Rubs face. Backhands Dave across the face* What if he's not into that? Then we just made him feel uncomfortable and might have made him leave. What then?! B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:22, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

*Pokes BSST's eyes* We offer him something else like Dekial tied up and oiled up and if he is not into that we find an animal he likes and let him go wild... he's a king we give him what he wants.-- 13:36, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

YOU KNOW WHAT?! *Presents a box of chocolates and some roses to Dave* I think that's a splendid idea. Good job Dave. B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:41, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

aaaawww thanks, that's nice *gives one tot he dog and waits for it to die* ok since the dog did not die I'll eat some-- 13:43, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

But he did die... dogs can't eat chocolate Dave, it's poison to them. You killed a puppy. O.O B.S.S.T. (talk) 13:45, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

*Takes out the sword of a thousand dildos and kills the dog* ok guess we're eating tacos tonight XD-- 13:50, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Sparky no! D: *Eats taco* Sparky you taste delicious wow! B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:06, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I dislike that my name was mentioned in this. I would like to clarify one thing. I only get tied up and put on a leash when the woman wants it. Or its a super sexy man who's treating me to something special.... 18:45, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry bro did not meant to get you mad, it was done in good fun -- 19:58, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

BSSTY BREATHE! not sure what to ask but hail the king lol KNIGHT ENCHANTER SWORD!!!!Star Metal Knight (talk) 00:19, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I can't! He's so awesome! And he's got a glorious head of hair! :D "fangirl scream" B.S.S.T. (talk) 00:50, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

KC needs to pass the test.... only then can he have the keep decoder ring hmmmm what shall his test beStar Metal Knight (talk) 00:54, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Dude he's been around for the last 4 years. I don't think there's a test we could give him that he hasn't already passed. B.S.S.T. (talk) 01:00, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Hi KC, welcome to the forum! Congrats on getting into the Keep, is it good? --Xsari ^(Talk) 1:45, September 17, 2014 (GMT)

Thanks Xsari! Well, I only have access to the basic forums right now, but I'll be in Keep in the next two days (or so they tell me). Can't wait! King Cousland | Talk   10:41, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Wow. Congratulations and happy testing! But there's one thing that's bugging me. We had a thread in which an anon (and another user I think) answered questions on the Keep (after the official reveal), but it was then said that the NDA is still in effect. It still is, right? Saba0th (talk) 10:55, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

^Yeah, despite the reveal, I believe the NDA is still in effect since they haven't made it a public beta. Any news on when it will be open public yet? 12:03, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

No idea. Though something here might be interesting Saba0th (talk) 12:14, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

ahh crap. I don't know anyone keep... best keep checking my emails 12:30, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I am so crushingly jealous of you KC. - 12:28, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Hey in their twatter DA:Keep said the friends and family beta is coming soon... what the H is that and does that mean we can get in soon???-- 14:15, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I believe it means that if you got into the Keep and you prescribe you're friend to the guys who run the Keep then they might give him a pass. Spoils system at it's finest. B.S.S.T. (talk) 14:18, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Awesome, me and Dab got an invite a while ago, I think you'll love what they've done with it. 15:26, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I'm loving what they've done with it! I didn't get access to the forums until after I got access to the Keep so I've probably submitted reports that have already been filed hundreds of times before though King Cousland | Talk   21:36, September 18, 2014 (UTC)

You son of a bitch!!!-- 15:54, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Someone please let me in to this... I'm dying of desperation for more Varrics-voice-actor goodness (forgot his name something bloom/blum...). That and I really can't do another playthrough of Origins and DA2... 18:51, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

I'lllet you in... into the gates of the abyss *Evil laugh* -- 21:34, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Understandably, they haven't given us latecomers codes to give to other people, but if they do the wiki will be the first place I'll share them! King Cousland | Talk   21:36, September 18, 2014 (UTC)

I got a code from Believe it and just need to wait to get in now. Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 22:12, September 18, 2014 (UTC)

Giveaway!!!

With the keep key give away fever, I'm giving away a pair of soiled boxers worn by me and a sweaty shirt also used by me, both are really smelly and would scare away anyone.

To WIN you just have to write down a reason as to why should I give it to you and what would you do them.

the coolest reply will win my boxers and the second will win my shirt!!!-- 22:35, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Oh Dave. Is it too early to archive this shit, so I don't have to smell Dave's grody ass clothes? B.S.S.T. (talk) 22:38, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Archive anything two weeks old. And make an exception for this... RShepard227 (talk) 00:46, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

Dress up as Solid Snake at night and hang them on a flag pole at my old school. Supergodzilla118 (talk) Supergodzilla118 22:50, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

oghrens underwear. I will place them on my face. Otherwise, i will place the cum-stained underwear of any overexcited fanboys on my face. 94.118.43.87 (talk) 23:34, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

Just thought I would say, apologies here, I was using my phone and forgot I wasn't logged in, but this was me... 00:15, September 18, 2014 (UTC)

Oh god my eyes hurt from reading this... --Xsari ^(Talk) 00:58, September 18, 2014 (GMT)

I think I'd puke. Or drop them in my brother's bed and then puke (it's just revolting, seriously!) ugh... *shakes with disgust* Saba0th (talk) 09:47, September 18, 2014 (UTC)

I'd rather go through the Joining. At least that way I have a higher chance of living... RShepard227 (talk) 00:46, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

Since you guys been such good sports I'm willing to add a used condom from 2005... any takers?-- 13:16, September 19, 2014 (UTC)